My 15 year old son’s girlfriend reminds me of a boy. I don’t mean to be rude, but she has short short hair, dresses like a tomboy and speaks with a lowered voice. Her name is Joanna, but she prefers to be called Jo. Anyway this is my son’s first girlfriend. Is the reason she is so masculine an indication that he may be gay? I do not have a problem with it at all, but I was just curious. I've tried talking to him but he tells me to shut up.
What do yall think?
2006-10-14 17:38:19 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
mom..adolescents are very strange compared to when I was younger. I live in a house with two 17 yr olds..15 yr old and 14 yr old.. yes, I too think and very much would like to say what I really feel. I play the kewl mom... I turn it into a joking thing.. for instance... my youngest son 15 came home the other day with this boy that had a mohawk hair style..shocked but, I jokingly asked if he had missed a spot and offered to help fix it with my clippers that his mom would appreciate it...The kids thought it was funny and the boy just explained he chopped his hair off and did it for something different. The could do worse I supppose. My point is try to pretend you are their age again...joke with them and do not be afraid to ask her. Just reassure her you do not care just curious..she will respect you for respecting her and being a friend not a nagging mom. Be thankful your son is not doing drugs. First girlfriends/boyfriends are just simply new ways for them to explore it is mother nature showing them how to learn on their own about life. No I am not talking sex either.. kids have to explore and grow as well. Hope this helps.
2006-10-14 17:51:43 · answer #1 · answered by italliansweety67 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One, he should never be that rude to his mother as to tell her to shut up. Usually homosexuals are all about self so he may be leaning that way.
If you're being overbearing, that usually drives them towards it. Because they don't have a strong masculine presence that they see how they are supposed to act. This is common among Africa American communities where there is a mother/grandmother type of parental unit.
Homosexuality is usually a manifestation of rebellion. The mother tells him how to dress, where to go, what to do, etc etc etc. The area of rebellion that she has no control over is sex...
The reason that they turn to other men is that it is an embarrassment, taboo against everything the mother stands.
Generally for the males it is the mother. For the daughters it is an overbearing father.
What I would suggest is giving him ROOM and some responsibility. Assuming that you haven't already. Let him pick out his clothes to wear. If he goes out and picks up thrash t-shirts and such, just make sure it isn't too inappropriate... Like saying "I'm going F--- you up!!" However, if he wants a black t-shirt with Rob Zombie on it... Hopefully it will be a faze he goes through.
The only other thing I can think of is trying to feminite Jo.
2006-10-14 18:01:22 · answer #2 · answered by James B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey.. Well He is only 15.. His first girl friend is most probably not gay nor is ur son... I guess thats what a lot of girls do when they are that young.. Being a guy is sort of a dominant thing. Being a guy is sort of considered cool by some girls who dont know what being a girl is all about. she is just confused right now.. and your son found his first girl freind... he will learn and find much better ones in the future. wen a girl's that young she probably gets influenced by all these rock stars... Some of them may be gay or act weird but write awsome songs.. she will turn out to be normal.. Its just cool being a tom boy these days..and your son has no choice but to go with her as of now.. cuz it is still his first girl.. I hope this helps
2006-10-14 17:46:14 · answer #3 · answered by Tazzzy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should open your mind a little and realize that all women are not surrounded with pink fluff. Perhaps your son tells you to shut up because you are being ridiculous enough to judge her by the way she looks rather than the girl she is. The sad part is that your closed minded attitude may have slammed the door on any future relationship of trust, confidence, and communication that you might have had with your son - had you not just implied to him that you think he's gay because his girlfriend doesn't fit into that cookie cutter idea you have about how a girl should look, act, and talk.
2006-10-14 17:47:23 · answer #4 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Guys are sometimes more attracted to girls who don't give a damn about dressing up and looking pretty, and that may be why he's chosen Jo as his first girlfriend. It doesn't mean he is gay. It means he prefers a down to earth girl who most likely loves sports and talk about more than her shoes. Don't worry. If it so happens to be his sexuality, then time will take it's course, and just be there for him. (I do doubt it though)
2006-10-14 17:46:06 · answer #5 · answered by cree siempre 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No mom ,hun no worries that dont means he gay atleast its that kind and not the fresh looking one you know what i mean then u would have something to worry about!!,.i'm surprised he tells you shut up...well i think he's dating her so okay he's fines with it But yes but your the parent and you have a right to ask question ..shew my parents wasent even letting me date at 15 so i consider him lucky but i think you should atleast continue to talk and ask him questions. To your desire , and well if he likes her then i think so and maybe not on the looks so much her personality maybe when he's with her look at the other side of things..i think would help and there's going to be much more your not going to like his girlfriends i can see it too tuff but just have to hang in there and let him learn those lessons lol....its true he's young and many more would follow ,.
2006-10-14 17:46:12 · answer #6 · answered by ~*Amanda*~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't worry. At that stage in his life, he may not be sure himself, or he may be sure, but just isn't ready to tell anyone. It's hard enough being a kid, much less being a gay kid (if he is) Just loive him and let him know, without being obvious (he'll resent you if you just come out and tell him), that you will love him no matter what. Eventually he will open up to you, whether or not he is gay. As for Jo, shew sounds harmless, and if your son is happy, then I say let it ride...metaphorically, that is! :)
Hope I helped.
2006-10-14 17:46:35 · answer #7 · answered by Space Case 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO, THAT DOESN'T MEAN HE IS GAY.
The fact that he is with her doesn't mean that he is attracted to her because of her appearance. He might like her company and personality. Perhaps he thinks of her as a "friend" you know, someone, other than the boys, that he could play ball with. I'm a basketball player, and i know how boyish girls could look... I'm also a model, though not many people know that of me... Don't judge the poor girl, and put your MOM JEALOUSY a side for a sec. your son might appreciate that.
2006-10-14 17:45:30 · answer #8 · answered by MuzicLv'er 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry about it...he isn't gay as long as he is with a girl.
If you keep harrassing him about it he might go gay just to piss you off though.
Just because a girl has short hair and speaks with a low tone doesn't mean anything...you should probably be glad that she isn't dressed like a hooker or crack whore....
2006-10-14 17:41:37 · answer #9 · answered by lunarbuni 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your son might be gay or he is just into girls that are like that. it is normal for a dad to wanna know what it going on in his sons life. to me it is kinda a hint if he says shut up when you asked him if he was gay. he might not want to go out with a guy yet, so he went for a girl that kinda looked like a guy.
2006-10-14 17:46:10 · answer #10 · answered by JennyJen91 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋