I have been married for 5 years and am afraid I am not in love with my husband anymore. He is more like a friend and to that point I am not attracted to him at all. He senses somthing and I just don't know what to do.
2006-10-14 17:30:40 · 21 answers · asked by SexyScorp 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Honey, i have been married for 10 years. i realised that my husband is not the man i love after i fell in love with someone else this year. What do i do? I have to make a choice.When you have kids, there's just no two ways about it but to go with the obligation and commitment you made. Innocent kids should not have to pay for adults' mistakes. So, i left my lover and now trying very hard to make this work. If it doesn't, at least, i owe it to my children and myself that i tried.
You should give yourself and your hubby a chance. After all, you married him, so there must be something there 5 years ago. Find that spark back. This is a phase that every married couple go through, if you're patient, the rewards will come, maybe not immediate gratification but when you're grey and frail, there will be someone there to hold your hands and that person will be your husband. Then you'll realise you've made the right choice.
I am hoping that the day will come for me too..meantime, good luck.
2006-10-14 17:51:32 · answer #1 · answered by angelheart 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You married for better or worse. Now after 5 years you find that the sizzle has left? Well, my dear, now is the time to add some extra spice and jump onto the horses' saddle and have some fun. Perhaps if you take control of the sensuousness side of the marriage, he might wake up and start smelling the roses. Every night pray to God for a deeper understanding of how you can bring that sizzle back into your marriage, like the day you married him.
Perhaps you are wanting more than he can give to you. Did you see something or someone you wish to be with? Don't be that way.
2006-10-15 00:38:04 · answer #2 · answered by Ms-No-It-All 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Get with it and quit feeling sorry for yourself. Spice it up. After five years things are different and it happens in every relationship. You got to make some changes to make it more sexual with the friendship. Too many people give up the marriage at the hint of a diffictulty. This will occur throughout your life with anyone. You have to make things happen. Now, please give it your all and give it a go. You make it more romantic. Talk to him about these things. How can he even have a chance if you are not communicating with you. Do you think he can read your mind? Don't. Let him know you need to change things a little. Tell him your feelings. You are not being fair with him or you if you do not.
2006-10-15 00:35:37 · answer #3 · answered by purpleish 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Seek counseling, as I am. My 1st marriage was 15 years, this 2nd one is 10 years. Wow, 25 years went by like a blur. I won't let the next decade go by so easily, life is too short. If you can't figure out what to do, you need help in making your decision. I'm in the same boat. Good Luck!
2006-10-15 00:37:38 · answer #4 · answered by cathymrehr 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
BE HONEST. Tell him how you feel. Honesty is the best policy sister. It may hurt him, and you may be hurt too. Just let all your feeling out. Tell him that you need to talk.
I felt that way about 1 year ago, as I now have been married for 5 years. We talked and I told him ALL the things that have been bothering me. It felt like we were room mates more than anything. It all worked out in the end for us, but that's us. Go with your feelings..tell him exactly how you feel. If anything you have gained a friend. Good luck to you!!
2006-10-15 00:35:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
feelings change over time and love fades when no one nutures and protects it... restoration is very possible - are you up for the challenge? reignite the fire by doing the things you two once did while dating.... a lot of it is communication.
Ask yourself this question - If I knew my spouse had only two weeks to live, what would I do to make his time left enjoyable and how would I show my affections?
When you know the answers, will you put them in action?
2006-10-15 00:38:36 · answer #6 · answered by jaimestar64cross 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the praying for guidance. But telling him you don't find him attractive anymore is only going to hurt his feelings and make him feel insecure. If you still love him, talk with him about how to make your love life more exciting. Try new things. Vows are serious. Only you can know when things are over for you.
2006-10-15 00:47:22 · answer #7 · answered by Wendsday's child 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
First of all you need to talk to him about his feelings. You might try going to a marriage counselor and see if they could help you. Other than that divorce him and find someone you can love and who will love you. Good luck.
2006-10-15 00:34:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would say do yourself both a favor and move on. There is nothing worse for both of you then to stay in a loveless marrigae. Its just not fair. It will be hard but in retrospect he will thank you.
2006-10-15 00:34:21 · answer #9 · answered by kibbles 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you have a serious problem, marriage is a life long commitment and if you feel this way YOU need to fix it, talk to him see what your problem is and remember if you don't love him after you try to fix this, then honesty is the best way to go, give him his freedom and let him be happy.
2006-10-15 00:35:37 · answer #10 · answered by pay 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋