I have been married for last 4 yrs and we've a son. My husband is totally not interested in me.?

Question

II am good looking. My husband has never said i love you to me after we got married, never hugged me, held my hands and now for the last 2-3 years we hardly have sex, infact zilch. He says he is faithful to me when I try to discuss this. We are good friends and talk about everything on the earth but there is no intimacy, he doesnt even touch me..what should I do

I have been married for last 4 yrs and we've a son. My husband is totally not interested in me.?
I am good looking. My husband has never said i love you to me after we got married, never hugged me, held my hands and now for the last 2-3 years we hardly have sex, infact zilch. He says he is faithful to me when I try to discuss this. He also says that he does not like to show his emotions. The only time I remember he showed intimacy was when we were dating, Infact we planned for the child. We are good friends and talk about everything on the earth..we do things together..joke about things..travel..have fun..he loves our son.. he supports my career..but there is no intimacy, he doesnt even touch me..what should I do

Answer 1

Ask him what his problem is. I mean you have a kid so he was sexually attracted to you at one time. Just ask him what the deal is and suggest marriage counseling.

Answer 2

You may want to consider a marriage counselor. You don't even have to be good looking for a man to fulfill his husbandly duties.

Something else is bothering him, but he may just need a wake up call.

Have you tried meeting him at the door naked?(make sure your son is away somewhere) "Hey if you're not going to appreciate me naked at least maybe the neighbors will..."

Make him hot dogs for dinner... Then make suggestive comments to him like... "Mmmm. good weiner!!!" "It's been so long, I'd forgotten how much I like them..."

I would say put on a real suggestive film... Something soft porn and watch it with him... What could be distracting him from wanting to have sex with his wife?

If he's faithful, most men have the urge every once in a while... Have you asked him to see a doctor? Because if this doesn't give him the message. SOMETHING IS WRONG...

If worse comes to worse, crush up some viagra and mix it in his food after it is cooked. "What's this on top? Just bread crumbs..

Desperate times call for desperate measures... Isolate when all this started and then see if you can tie some event that might have started it. Maybe he's heard a scare from a friend about sex and heart attacks... This ain't right.

I'm sorry about being crass, but you're married and your husband should be feeling up to every once in a while even at 90 men generally want to have sex.

Answer 3

This is something gone wrong with him. I tried everything. My husband serially abandoned me for a couple months, then, for as much as 11and1/2 months. Lastly, there was no intimacy for 5 years. This is NEGLECT and believe me, the perpetrator has not got a clue as to duration. I know that you are not a priority. His mind is on something else.
You are friends. That is something I could not rely on. There is no abuse. It is salvageable.
I went to therapy alone, because he would not. I took classes in psychology and classes called "Healing Life's Hurts". We attended marriage counseling for 7 years. I worked at it. He did not.
Go to this site: http://www.marriagemax.com Use any aid you can to get him to communicate.
I finally, gave up. But, you should not. Not yet. If you love, you can be patient for a little while. And, I believe in miracles. I hope your story has a happy ending.

Answer 4

Well, as far as saying i love you, never hugged me,and held my hands are pretty common in some marriages until you start complaining about it....But the sex part is not understandable.....You need to take care of this subject real soon....I had the same problem with my hubby for going without sex for more than a week....Now if it were longer than he must explain to me what it going on with him.....Sex to me is very important in marriages....Girlfriend, you are good friends to this man you call your husband; you need to break it down to him and tell him to make you understand why you have to live this way.....you married him because he is your lover not the man next door......Start that fire back up.....change your look....go to him with a new attitude.....

Answer 5

I've been in your boat it sucks you start to feel rejected same thing happened to me I left him only to find dating to be very tiring after a year or so I wished I had just stayed with my X. if I had it to do again if everything else clicks in the marriage stay and just get some on the side. Or a really great sex toy I hear the rabbit is nice. He might be gay and not want to come to grips with it. who knows GoodLuck

Answer 6

I would suggest having a talk with him and possibly the two of you do some counselling. If that doesn't work, then maybe it is time to move on unless you are willing to live your life in a platonic relationship.

Answer 7

what this is so weird, maybe he's gay, or maybe he is the type of guy that does not like to show emotion either way this is too weird maybe he should talk to a specialist. u have to figure out what is really wrong with him. U dont want to spent years with a person like this its better if u figure out this problem now that u are young.

Answer 8

Sounds like you are already just friends. If you really want to work this out and be happy you should consider counseling, but it doesn't sound like it was ever really working. It might be time to just face the music and split. Is it possible he is gay? Either way, you deserve to be with someone who notices how attractive you are and who desires you.

Answer 9

How did u have a son with this kind of attitude? Has he changed lately or after the birth of ur son?

Answer 10

Take charge! when you two are in bed get started on getting what you need... why you let things go on like this for 2-3 years is beyond me!