I've never asked for advice on any type of board, so bear with me! I'm in a 2nd marriage. My 1st was over mainly because of ex's drug habits after 15 yrs. Married my 8th gr sweetheart 10yrs Sounds like a fairy tale, but he's butted heads with one of my kids pretty bad, we argue about little things always. A friend moved back to town about a yr ago, who left town years ago because of drug and gambling debt. This guy friend of his calls him numerous times every day and gets mad when he doesn't return his calls, it's a weird relationship. I dont like the guy and def. dont trust him, he brags to my husband how unfaithful he is. They planned a trip to see an out of town football game, I was ok w/it, until they added on a few extra days in vegas. So now my husb. is in vegas with this guy who has a gambling problem, and with another guy who likes his nose candy. It's dejavu! I'm goin crazy this weekend, crying and being angry. I start counseling in2 wks. How do I get thru this?
2006-10-14 17:10:01 · 33 answers · asked by cathymrehr 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Im sorry, you should not be miserable. Let your husband know you dont approve of his friends. GIve him a chance to change his ways. This is not fair when you are so miserable. SOME MEN ARE SUCH JERKS...sorry for yelling but its so true.
2006-10-14 17:27:06 · answer #1 · answered by jennyve25 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweety-it seems to me youve had it pretty bad in the past and you or any woman deserve nothing less than the best. Keep in mind that even though his friends have weaknesses,that doesnt mean your husband has the same. you should know your husband well enough to know if he would eventually give into the surrounding influences. A relationship is no good without trust but it is something that is gained and not obtained overnight. I believe your marriage is mor important than his friends,it would help to make a mutual agreement to stay away from his"friends". Bad company corrupts good morals.One more thing-you dont need counseling-You need GOD,he is the best counselor and he can love you way better than any man will ever be able to.Pray and Stay strong for yourself and your children.
2006-10-14 17:22:32 · answer #2 · answered by mommylove 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well the real question isn't should you stay or should you go because right now it seems like this is just one problem. You have to figure out if your husband is the type to cave under pressure and try out drugs or lose all his money because gambling can pretty much become addictive to anyone...Plus what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas and I would be more worried about him hanging around a man that would persuade him to cheat.
All in all, you have to trust your husband. You know him better than any of us do, but I can totally see your point of view. Is he calling you everyday just to say hi? Are you able to call him and talk to him when you want to while he is gone? Those are questions that you need to consider. And realize that without trust, a relationship is nothing.
2006-10-14 17:13:49 · answer #3 · answered by Truth Hurts 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am an ex addict I have been clean for e few years. If your husband has used drugs in the past chances are he might be using. It is hard to say no when the people around you are using. If your husband keeps hanging around him he is going to end up an addict. You will start seeing signs and just from what I have read you had an ex who used so you know the signs. Don't ignore what might be in front of your face. If he does have a problem and you want to save your marriage he might need counseling.
2006-10-14 17:19:03 · answer #4 · answered by kitten 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that maybe you are a bit pariniod because of your ex. if you think he will cheat then dont trust. but if he spends a few dollars or does a line or two dont worry unless it becomes a habbit in the future. if your husband seems to be really interested in his friends cheating ways then you got a prob. sounds like he is just having fun with the guys. everyone has one of those friends. but, if he is butting heads with YOUR son, you must always choose your child before a man. that is just plain common sense. all this stuff does add up. you need to evaluate all situations in your marriage and listen to your heart and do whats best for you child. counsiling will help you evaluate all this and put it together so you can get through, good luck.
2006-10-14 17:16:19 · answer #5 · answered by heather h 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are u worried about your husband being unfaithful or are u worried that he might end up gambling or doing drugs? Before u call it quits, I think u should speak to your husband first and let him know how u feel. I agree, his friends are not good influence on him and I think u should tell him that u feel uncomfortable when he hangs around with them.
In the meantime, don't jump to any kind of conclusions until u have proof to go by.
2006-10-14 17:19:59 · answer #6 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are in a tuff spot. Hang in there for your counseling to start and talk to your husband about how you feel. If you love him, it is a waste to throw away an 8-year marriage. I know how all about the extra pressure involved in a marriage when you have kids from a previous marriage. Try to see your husbands point of view regarding the problem between he and your child (we tend to want to over protect our kids in this situation) and try to work out a fair and reasonable solution.
2006-10-14 17:21:28 · answer #7 · answered by 75160 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make up a dramatic reason why he should come home. For instance, you woke up and there was someone in the house, but before you could get out of bed, they were gone. You are scared and feel unsafe. If he can't be bothered to come home, you'll know where his priorities lie. It is game playing, but you may save your husband from doing something stupid and you may save your marraige. Besides, you will feel miserable the whole time he's gone and I know how that goes. You don't deserve that while he's out having fun.
2006-10-14 17:19:14 · answer #8 · answered by ecutepup 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you worried about infedelity? Has your husband ever given you any reason to think he would cheat on you?
If so, then the issue isn't Vegas.
Did you ask him not to go to Vegas?
If you did, and he still went, then he doesn't honor you and it is time to rethink that whole "'til death do us part" thingie. If you didn't, then it's your own fault, so deal with it and give him a big wifey hug (and any other wifey thing he might like) when he gets home.
2006-10-14 17:16:03 · answer #9 · answered by edward_the_l0ngshanks 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's real bad judgment on your husbands part to take up with these creeps. I can understand why you'd be angry and upset. I know I'd be. Just take it one day at a time. But when your husband comes back home, you need to sit down and tell him how you feel about this situation and that it doesn't sit right with you. He should respect your wishes and take your concerns into consideration. He should not put these people ahead of you.
2006-10-14 17:20:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i live in vegas an its not just the gamblin you have to worry bout usually if one gets a hooker they all do and drugs on the strip is easier to find than a slot (sl ut) machine. im sorry to be so blunt but with the problems you guys are having
this so called unexspected trip to vegas might not be as unplanned as you think
i feel for you but you have to think about yourself and your children it isnt healthy i wish you do the right thing and trust your gut
all the best good luck
2006-10-14 17:15:11 · answer #11 · answered by lv23smurf 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋