does every new mom drive herself crazy worrying about her baby?

Question

I have a 10 month old son, and while I am more and more in love with him every day, I constantly worry. Every time I hear a story on the news about a child being severely injured or killed or when people insist on telling me their horror stories of kids being hurt I lose sleep at night worrying about the "what ifs". I know that tragic accidents can happen in a split second, even to children with the best of parents. I try to be cautious without being an overprotective parent. I child proofed my house and know that I'm doing the best job that I can, but I still worry. I suppose it's good in a way because it makes me more cautious and more aware of the things that can happen so I can prevent accidents, but I hate to be worried when I should be ecstatic that I have this precious little boy! Am I normal? Does every new mommy feel this way? Does it ever ease up? I would really appreciate some advice or just to know that other are feeling this way too.

Answer 1

You wouldn't be human if your heart didn't ache everytime you heard something bad happened to a child. There is bad stuff out there and face it, there are accidents waiting to happen in your own home. Not that you haven't childproofed to the best of your ability, but I think it's children's jobs to find the one thing that you didn't think of that will get them in trouble.
All you can do is be cautious, but don't run behind your child waiting for them to fall. My philosophy is that they have to learn by experiencing, even if it is going to hurt. My daughter has learned quickly that when Mommy says something is hot, that means don't touch. Lock up all the chemicals and bug spray and just watch out for the other stuff.
I do find that I get really uptight when I have one of my kids and people in grocery stores smile at them and start playing with them. I have a fear that they are so cute, people will steal them. I live in a city with 4 million people and you always have to be on the lookout.
Mother's instintively are protective, for good reason. Children need our help to survive. Just be the best mom you can be and give your little son all the love you can stand.
Best of luck.

Answer 2

You sound like me!

The other day, it was on the news that someone picked up a 5 year old outside the school and sexually assaulted her and then drove her home. It's happened a few times in my city.

I am terrified of society. I won't let my kids go in the next aisle of wal-mart without me. I always think about the America's Most wanted guy and what happened to his son in a department store - hence, code Adam in Wal-mart.

I don't know how some parents stop worrying. It's like they are naive to how bad some people can be. Even if you teach the kids about danger, it doesn't always help.

My friends and I are all paranoid and buy the best safety stuff around the house and keep an eye on each other's kids. Most of us only let our parents babysit and not use daycare. Everyone has a horrible daycare story.

Answer 3

I guess this should be in fine print on the instruction panel
"For the rest of your life, you will worry about this child. However in return, you will get to love and be loved by this wondrous being you have become a Mommy to."
Every new mom feels what your are feeling at some point in their lives, and I think that eventually we all calm down..well, somewhat anyway. However if you find that these worries continue or grow worse, maybe you should seek out some help. If there are any groups for Moms and infants in your area, this might be a fun way to share your concerns and get tips on how to cope with them.
Sounds to me like your son is a lucky boy to have a Mom who is so concerned about him. Good Luck.

Answer 4

My Daughter is 5 months old and if she sleeps for longer than 2 hour I make sure that she is breathing I almost never let her out of my site and if I do it is just to take a shower I am constantly worrying about the what if's and I fear that it will never go away I am always worried and I really don't trust anyone else with her not ever her dad. Don't get me worng he is a great dad but he isn't me. I guess it is just a mom thing. But just so you know your not the only on out there.

Answer 5

Try the Trader Joe's organic pizzas - My niece LOVES those and she's a bit over 1. You can always take off the cheese if you're not doing that yet. Try Shells (pasta) cooked really soft with no sauce or even just a bit. Or butter. Or give her a pasta and a veggie (from a can, a lot of kids don't like the frozen as much)

Answer 6

Yes, you are DEFINATELY normal. Yes, we all worry (usually over things that we don't need to.) And unfortunately, no, it does not get better.

You make it sound like you think it's odd that you worry, since you love your child, when in reality, you worry BECAUSE you love your child. That it gets worse and worse every day makes sense, too. Every day, you fall more and more in love with your little boy. That means that every day, you have a harder and harder time imagining your life without him. If you think of it in those terms, it makes perfect sense that you would worry more as time goes by, not less.

I've worried that my children are autistic, have cystic fibrosis, will have to be sent to kindergarten in diapers since they would NOT be potty trained, will be fourteen years old before using complete sentences (my older son had a moderate hearing loss due to ear infections in his first two years, and he made up his own language. He's five now, and is only just now starting to use sentences). I worry about mad cow disease, school shootings, pedaephiles, proper nutrition, and the fact that we live in a second-floor apartment with rails on the balcony that are just the perfect size for my three-year-old to walk through.

The biggest thing that helped is monitoring my own time watching the news (CNN is no longer allowed, according to my husband, because I sit for hours watching and worrying) and no longer reading baby/parenting magazines or books. No kids (particularly mine) are textbook cases, so when I need to ask questions, I go to my mom or grandmother (who was a teacher, had four children, nine grandchildren, and eight great-grandchildren -- so far, and she's seen it all, and has an amazing memory for an 82-year-old woman), or my kids' preschool teachers. Groups such as MOPS International (Moms of Preschoolers, for moms of newborns through five-year-olds) can offer fellowship with women who are going through the same thing (it's through churches, if you're interested in looking into it, I LOVED it).

The main thing, of course, is to symbolically slap yourself then let things go. Someone once suggested that I only allow myself to worry about things that are almost DEFINATELY nothing to really worry about for fifteen minutes, then I have to let it go. It didn't work for me, but you might want to try it.

Answer 7

I feel the same way, that's why I decided to be a stay at home mom while my babies are so young. I have a 15 month old son and a 4 month old daughter and it still hasn't let up.

Answer 8

All first time parents go through this if they really truely love their child. You are normal and yes it does ease up. They get bigger and start getting scraped kness and such and you learn for all the stories they are reall much tougher than we think and not as easy to break as they appear.Just continue to do the best you can.

Answer 9

I worry about my children all the time. I am a very overprotected mother. But you cannot let yourself get so worried and upset about the what if's and stop enjoying the good times right now.

Answer 10

Yes, I still worry and my son is 3 years old I'm sure I will always worry.