what do you think?

Question

My husband had and affair almost 2yrs ago, with a very much older lady. Anyway after finding out, he quit job and did what ever to keep me. Me going on meds, and seeing a counsleler to get past all this pain. We even had a baby. Now almost 2yrs later, she left a unknown call on his cell phone leaving a message asking for a phone back if he didn't want it. I found the message. He says he never heard it before and admitted he thought it was her, and has NOT seen or Talked to her in two yrs. So why would a woman 18yrs older leave a unknown call and message on his phone to start something. HOW would she know I would hear it? Why didn't she say something of a sexual nature to start something with him or get me mad. He says he has NO idea whats going on, or why. But didn't call to yell at her for starting trouble or to stay away for good. So do you think something was going on or she is just some crazy chaising my hubby?

Answer 1

Been there, done that. I had a similar experience when I was married to my 1st husband. When I caught him, he did everything in his power to keep me. He even moved me to a different state. I did however find the other womans phone number on our phone bill about 3 months after we moved. I understand what you are going through. This is the kind of hurt that tears your heart out. As for your situation, you need to decide once and for all if you can regain the trust you need to keep the relationship going. That is a tough thing to do. I could not get over the hurt and regain the trust for my ex, and so I divorced him (3) years after it happened. As for the call, I am not sure why the woman called on the phone. Could it have been a wrong number? Are you possitive it was her? These are important questions that need to be answered without a doubt before you base any life changing decision on the situation.

Answer 2

Wow! You are a strongwilled woman staying and fighting to keep your man in this world of women who are all too willing to try to take what they aren't entitled to. If you changed your phone number to an unlisted one; I would wonder how she got it and be quick to point the finger at your husband. As I am unsure of that I would say that the best course of action is to ignore her completely and not respond to her. Who knows what her motivation is so long after the "end" of the relationship. It's possible he may of picked up with her and that was her way of letting you know she is in the picture again. However, I really doubt it. There isn't any point in him calling and yelling at her. That would just give her the attention from him that she wants and open the door to more communications.

Answer 3

After 2 years she phones your address "out of the blue", asking for your husband? Well; after 2 years, she thinks that your husband is all fed up with you and is trying to "cash in" on you. You say that you have had a baby? The best thing that YOU and your HUSBAND can do for the BABY is LOVE one another. This will leave zero room for future encounters of the tird kind such as this!!! Your husband thought he would get away with it at the time but apparently, things we do in the past oftentimes, have a way of boomeranging and biting those who had done them, in the ***. A little word of unasked for advice. NEVER bring a new born i.e. baby into a bad marriage - its not his or her fault. ( I know "accidents" can happen though!)

Answer 4

I would believe your husband. I think she would have called back just to see if she could get things going again. She may have been feeling down or thinking about him a lot and thought she would give it a try.... That does not mean he did anything wrong, in fact he did the right thing by not calling her back. After all, that is what she wanted, right? Hang in there and good luck...

Answer 5

Get your phone number changed. No sense in punishing your hubby now if things are good between you two but he apparently left a big impression on her if she's still trying to pursue the relationship. Get the number changed and hire a detective if youre that paranoid.

Answer 6

Thats hard to say. I give you a lot of credit for staying. I would have been out that door so fast. You have to ask yourself if you trust him and that he would not hurt you and your child all over again. There is a huge chance that she is just trying to start stuff up again. I would judt keep a close eye on everything and let him know that you could have left a long time ago so he owes it to you to be truthful.

Answer 7

Some miserable woman and men just like to stir up stuff with people who are happy. She probably just was bored one day and decided to make a call not caring what it would do to the both of you. She probably figured if you didn't hear it at least he would and maybe he would call her back.
Trust your husband and just keep an open ear for other incidents.

Answer 8

Your husband better be decisive here...Forgiving the past is one thing...forgive the ongoing is impossible. So be sure your husband is on your side and not lying to you. As for the other gal...your husband has to handle it. She has to be told to leave you and your family alone. If she keeps it up...you have to change your phone number or maybe move out of the area to start over.

Answer 9

There's more to the story than you know right now. She didn't just call him out of the clear blue after two years. There has been some contact since then. Keep your eyes open, and your ears, and you will learn more. Good Luck!!

Answer 10

I think she is just trying to see if you husband is interested in a repeat. Give him the benefit of the doubt but keep a close eye out.
It would be helpful for him to change his phone number.