does marriage ruin relationships ?

Question

hi, i am going out with this great girl and everything is going great, i am thinking of asking her to marry me but everywhere i hear and see that after a couple of years and so on marriage turns shitty and it's all complaints and so on.
can anyone tell me if they have a great marriage and how long it's been or should i stay with her the way it still is

thanks,

Answer 1

marriage takes your relationship to another level....ive been with my partner for 7 years and married for 5 of them....its alot of work but as long as both of you make an effort....marriage is great.....

Answer 2

Any relationship can turn shitty. I had a few before I got married. Marriage is a lifetime commitment (at least it should be) and until you spend a couple years if that what it takes to work out any problems after the discovery stage, then so be it. I think it is better to lose a relationship before marriage than after. I have a great marriage for 24 years, but things do change and it takes some effort to keep it together sometimes, but it's worth it. We dated for about 6 months before we talked about marriage I hope this helps.

Answer 3

Dont listen to all that negativity!! I have been married to my husband for 7 1/2 years and I couldn't be happier. I love him more now than I did when we were first married. If you truly love this girl and you think you can make her happy the rest of her life, then I say go for it!! There is a lot of unhappiness in this world today. But people jump into things way to soon and then they just give up and throw in the towel whenever they hit a little bump.

Marriage is a lot of constant work. It's not always wonderful bliss. But if you are committed to working through the rough parts together and standing by each others side no matter what, then you can make it work.

Go with your gut feelings and do what you think is right, but don't do it just because. If you aren't trully committed to the relationship don't just jump into things. You never know what life will bring your way, so you need to be prepared for things and be ready to handle things when they come your way.

I wish you the best in whatever you decide. GOOD LUCK!!!!

Answer 4

Wait for the warm glow of a new relationship to pass before you get married. Wait until you have a fight or a bad day or two together and see how you handle it together. Differences in how one feels about saving and spending money is the #1 reason that couples break up after marriage. From the time you first meet a person, I would say wait 2 years before marriage. It takes about one year to set up everything for the wedding anyways. Other than that .. Getting married, itself, does not ruin a relationship. Good Luck ! :)

Answer 5

It takes two to make a marriage so you would no ruin it by urself. If you wanna get married to her i would suggest in addition to proposing you have a mature conversation about what each person's expectations would be. Include the details of children and the responsibilites that comes with the territory. Household chores etc. Cause these little nitty gritties become the cornerstone for a marriage. The compaints come as a result of expectations that havent been materialized, so if you've covered these bases and know that you're on the same pages maybe, jus maybe things would be different for you.

Answer 6

Everyone is different, but here's my view. I have been with my "husband" for 5 years but won't marry him and we have 3 kids. I tell him that it is just a piece of paper but I would feel trapped. We are here because we want to be and I don't need a ceremony or piece of paper to prove it. My "husband" respects me enough to not try to change this. By the way, I am divorced from an abusive relationship so my view is skewed. In that marriage, it did go downhill as soon as we were married. After 4 years together, it all went to pieces within 6 months of marriage.

Answer 7

I can't directly answer your question, but I want to make an observation that should make you feel better: you are in control of your lives! But if you go into a marriage with a fear that is based on other people's sad experiences, you could walk into a self-fulfilling prophecy and your marriage could be shakey from the get-go. If you are certain you are meant for each other, happily enter your marriage with the knowledge that anything worth having is worth working at, and a solid foundation is built on communication. You and your wife will make the marriage what it is, so don't go into such an important relationship being cynical and waiting for the end to happen. Your lives, like others, will go through highs and lows, but if you build your marriage on a solid foundation, you will weather all of the storms because you are both in the driver's seats. In other words, don't get negative by what has happened to others and expect that to happen to you. That's dangerous. You are in charge of your lives. Good luck!

Answer 8

Ask her to marry you. Marriage doesn't ruin relationships. My husband and I have been married for 3 years together for 5 and things only get better for us. We have a baby that will be turning a year old soon. We both have a child from a past relationship so we are one big happy family....things really worked out for us.

Good luck! I wish you the best!

Answer 9

I have always believed that if you want serious answers to the secret of relationship longevity, ask someone who's been married 40+ years. I have always heard that the #1 secret to relationship longevity is COMMUNICATION. You'd be surprised to know how many couples don't know how to do that.

I've been with my boyfriend for going on 8 years. We are engaged to be married next March, and my secret for our happiness is that we were friends first. We were friends for about a year before we began dating each other. We have great communication and an amazing sex life. I'm never bored with him, and I make sure I keep it lively for him. I have no complaints and no regrets.

Answer 10

Living without companion is lifeless and similiar to a boat isolated on ocean without pier. Marriage of two couples are bonding two different elements and when both realize their objectives and common understanding to meet their future goals, no less but a good relationship be established with good foundation of patients, love, care, kindness, unselfishness, enhances with a maximum thrust and understanding, anything that helps bonding a relationship, your family will be happier and this relationship must be strong enough to keep these attitudes to survive for a lasting years but when one or both these couples faded and impatient overcome, a selfishness, cheating or going to rock and impossible to reconcile indeferrences, then as you said only it ruins your life, its better to be single and independent at all.

Answer 11

This depends on your age and how many past relationships you've had, in other words, how much experience do you have. If it's your first real romance, then don't be afraid to try marriage. It might work for you. It's true, the divorce rate is high, but each marriage has it's own definition. If you have any doubts, I'd suggest remaining unmarried.