Waiting
For something that would never come
Waiting
For the only thing that will
Bring my life back
Back from the downward spiral its heading
Waiting
For the day that he will come
Waiting
For the guy who
Will bring my life back
Until then I'm just waiting
Waiting for something that would never come
2006-10-14 15:35:21 · 13 answers · asked by candy12424 2 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Other - Arts & Humanities
I think the feeling is very good enhanced, and its strength is kept high along the whole poem successfully. About the idea of having that feeling in real life, I think that nobody must expect oneself to be happy depending on the presence of another person.
2006-10-14 16:01:16 · answer #1 · answered by lenny 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are beginner, its really really good. Keep writing and you will get better and better everyday. Read a lot of poems too, the kinds you like. It will help in making your poetry more poetic.
Just a thought if that is your true feeling, please dont' be waiting for any guy because the only person you should be waiting for is you so find yourself rather than find that guy.
Good Luck on your poetry!
2006-10-14 22:51:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I think that I may have the answer to your problem. What you've been waiting on is a world of peace and tolerance, one that is never going to come into existence... at least... not if we don't take a stand. Will you join my effort for world peace, or will you not? If you want that day of peace to come then email me. My email is accessible in my profile.
2006-10-14 22:38:48 · answer #3 · answered by The Righteous Order 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I loved your subject. You may have something if you keep going. Keep writing and reading other poetry.
When I read your work I can feel and thats a great beginning.
Keep learning about poetry as you continue to write.
2006-10-14 23:29:41 · answer #4 · answered by ~♥ L ♥~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok - nice images - the only thing I would do would be to take out - "its heading" - I think "back from the downward spiral" says it all w/o the extra words - - but up to you of course - - Its sad and evokes that - good job..
2006-10-14 22:48:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good job! I like how the flow is uneven. It sounds natural. But really now, is this how you really feel? For a guy? Sorry if that sounded mean.
2006-10-14 22:38:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why waste your time
Waiting for something that would never come?
It's good to love
In return, you should get what you deserved.
If nothing's coming
Why the waiting?
Open your heart to others, they are waiting to come in
And yours, for the asking ;-)
2006-10-15 01:22:08 · answer #7 · answered by TK 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds perfect, you know i wrote something like this at one point in my life and i am still waiting
2006-10-14 22:44:51 · answer #8 · answered by DarkStar 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like it! i'm no expert on the technical stuff about poetry but it sounds great to me! :)
2006-10-14 22:37:11 · answer #9 · answered by roxanne 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is a lovely poem and real deep ..
2006-10-14 22:39:58 · answer #10 · answered by Tinkerbelle 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋