Frank was bruttaly shoved into the wall. Someone, in their haste, had left his hoodie behind. He tried to reach for it but his arm was yanked up and cuffed to the other one. He was tossed into the nearby van, where yet another person blindfolded him and gagged him. Frank struggled, but he knew with a easy feeling there was no way he was getting out of this mess that he had mistakenly gotten himself into.
2006-10-14 15:13:16 · 11 answers · asked by CandyCorn 1 in Education & Reference ➔ Words & Wordplay
(ten points for what is the best rewritten version. i don't think it sounds right. oh, and it's mine - I wrote it.)
2006-10-14 15:13:58 · update #1
Frank felt himself being thrust against the unrelenting wall, rather roughly. Looking around him, he was that someone had left their hooded sweater behind. As he reached forward to grab it, he left his right right being grabbed firmly, and placed into a set of handcuffs, his left wrist following suit. He was harshly shoved into a waiting van, which yet another 'friend' was inside of it, waiting to blindfold and gag him. Frank tried to escape, yet he had an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach, that there wasn't an easy way out of this mess, one that he hadn't meant to even get involved with, in the first place.
Something like that?
2006-10-14 16:14:41 · answer #1 · answered by Meggypoo88 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After being brutally shoved into the wall, Frank felt the material of what he thought was a hoodie that someone must have left behind. Upon trying to grasp it, his arm was forcefully yanked up and cuffed to his other. Then, tossed into the nearby van, he was blindfolded and gagged by yet another person. Even though struggling frantically, Frank knew with an easy sinking feeling that he was trapped in this threatening situation that he had mistakenly gotten himself into.
2006-10-14 17:11:38 · answer #2 · answered by Will Try 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When Frank was brutally shoved into the wall, his assailant left his hoodie behind. As he tried to reach for it his arm was yanked up and cuffed to the other one. He was then tossed into the nearby van, where yet another person blindfolded him and gagged him. Frank struggled, but he knew with an uneasy feeling there was no way he was getting out of this mess that he had foolishly gotten himself into.
2006-10-14 15:38:53 · answer #3 · answered by dropkickchick 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As Frank was trying to reach for a hoodie someone had left behind in his haste, he was brutally shoved into the wall, and his arm was yanked up and cuffed to the other one. He was tossed into the nearby van, where someone blindfolded and gagged him. Frank struggled, but he had an uneasy feeling that he wasn't going to get himself out of this mess that he had inadvertantly gotten into.
2006-10-14 15:34:47 · answer #4 · answered by country nana 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Frank was brutally shoved into the wall. Someone, in their haste, had left his hood behind. He tried to reach for it but his arm was yanked up and cuffed to the other one. He was then tossed into the nearby van when another person blindfolded him and gagged him. Frank struggled, but he knew with an uneasy feeling that there was no way he was going to get out of this mess that he had mistakenly gotten himself into.
2006-10-14 15:24:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Frank was shoved into the wall with bone-jarring force. He saw his hoodie on the ground and tried to grab for it but his arm was seized and yanked roughly behind him where it was handcuffed to the other one. He was then forced into a nearby van, blindfolded and gagged. As Frank struggled to free himself, he realized with a sinking feeling of utter despair that there was no way out of this mess which he had unwittingly gotten himself into.
2006-10-14 15:36:57 · answer #6 · answered by Dellajoy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I'm not going to do your revision for you but I'll tell you what's wrong with it, why it doesn't sound right. First of all, you should start with a spell check. Most Word programs also have a grammar check-use that too because you've got some simple grammatical errors in there as well. The reason it doesn't sound right is because it's not cohesive. You start out by telling us that Frank is "brutally (first typo) shoved into the wall", which sets the reader up to expect something dramatic, and then you mention the mundane hoodie-and it is unclear whose hoodie it is. I am assuming that Frank left his hoodie behind and then went back to get it, at which point he was attacked by someone? You should then lead off with the fact that Frank was going back to retrieve his forgotten hoodie when he encountered unfamiliar attackers.
I don't understand what you mean by, "...he knew with a easy feeling...". Do you mean UNeasy? And you should use "an" before a word beginning with a vowel, not "a" (one grammatical mistake down). And how is it that he "mistakenly" got himself into this mess? Not clear on what you mean by that either.
Hope this at least gives you something to think about. Good luck!
2006-10-14 15:33:43 · answer #7 · answered by elk312 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Frank was brutally shoved into the wall. Someone grabbed his arms, and with a pair of metal handcuffs, cuffed them together. He was tossed into a waiting van where a different person blindfolded and gagged him. Frank stuggled but he knew with a uneasy feeling that there was no possible way for him to get out of the mess he had accidently gotten himself into.
Hope this helps you.
2006-10-14 15:27:50 · answer #8 · answered by lady.ceridwen 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Frank was pushed on the wall and some one lefted his hoodie behind. He tried to get it but his hands got chuffed together. Frank was thrown in a van near by and was being blindfolded and gagged. He sat there thinking he was never going to get out of the mess he got into.
2006-10-14 15:24:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
accurate of someone - continuous Gender of someone - discrete Distance travelled from residing house to paintings - continuous The accessible disk skill on a computer - continuous the country of registration of a vehicle - discrete the yearly sales of a particular product - continuous The temperature of a freezer in celsius - continuous The type of situations a pupil visited the library in 2008 - continuous the region of a business business enterprise in the FTSE index - continuous
2016-12-04 20:21:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋