Should I reconcile back with my ex-wife ?

Question

My wife & I filed for a divorce 2 months ago.Reason being she wasn't able to enjoy life as she used to be after I was retrenched mid last year.Constantly comparing how lucky all her g/f were (going shopping/holidays).She also venged her fustration on my daughter whenever she's in a bad mood.Despite efforts to salvage the marriage,she failed to understand my dilema. Eventually she demanded for a divorce.Knowng I can't provide her the life she wanted like before, I hv no choice but to comply.
However, she called last week trying to hint for a reconcilation.I have lost faith in our marriage since.But thinking of my daughter's sake(she's not too keen to see her mother back after all the abuse), should I patch up with her ?

Answer 1

Take your child out of the equation. Even if it would be best for your daughter to have your ex there, if the relationship between the 2 of you didn't improve your daughter would not benefit from her presence. If your wife wanted the divorce, well, give it to her. You and your daughter need stability that this woman is not ready or able to give. Your wife needs to matured quite a bit before you ever consider reconciling. Going shopping/holiday is always nice, but once you settle down, you accept family life and only get that special occasion once in a blue moon. Get the divorce and get your life with your child back on track. Everything will be fine,

Answer 2

Well if you are thinking reconciling would be in any ones best interest then think again. Your daughter has made it clear she doesnt want her mother back. You described some pretty nasty things. Your wife is just plain mean, and doesnt sound like she has ever really considered anyone elses feelings but her own. You were right when you used the word abuse...so why would you even consider reconciling when both you and your daughter have both suffered at this woman's hands. She is self-centred...fancy leaving you because you were made redundant. That doesnt mean you were made redundant from life, but she has treated you like all you are to here is a meal ticket. Uh Uh, please dont allow her back into your lives...it would be bad for your daughter and bad for you. You need to find someone who will love you for you and not what you can buy for her. Let sleeping dogs lie....let the divorce go through and then go out and find someone who will trully love you.

Answer 3

Well from a chrisitan stand point I think that you should really pray about it and read your bible. God will lead you to do the right thing. I'm can't imagine how painful it must have been for you to hear that as a husband you weren't good enough to support her financially. Marriage is based on love. The money shouldn't have mattered. Happiness means so much more then new clothes..a marriage isn't based on material things. You have to do whats best for your daughter and yourself. If you do decide to take her back I'd recommend marriage counseling with a christian counseler. I can't speak for God, but I cant imagine that He would want you and your daughter to be in a situation where their is abuse. Good luck and please pray. God is faithful and with God on your side, who can be against you!!

Also to those of you who say it didnt work the first time it isnt never gonna work, Me and my husband had filed for divorce once and got back together and our marriage has been stronger and our relationship is so great now. It just have to be both of you giving 100%.

As for your daughter, if your wife has really changed then she'll have to earn her trust back. Your wife will have to be the one to take the step to do it, shes the one that has to prove herself to you and your daughter..Good luck and God bless

Answer 4

If your ex wife feels that the most important thing in life is to enjoy her life, she is not likely to change what she thinks now even though she comes back to you again.

Let's just say that you have a job now and she is happy again because she can go shopping and holidays.. so she doesnt vent her anger on the both of you.. things seem back ot normal...

But she is likely to still think that enjoying life is more important than her family (that is you and your daughter).. can you take it?

If she is not keen to see her mother after all the abuse, what makes you think living together again will make a difference.

If I were you, I would not consider reconcillation unless I am sure she has CHANGED.

But tat is just my personal opinion.. good luck in making a good decision..

Answer 5

She's your ex-wife for a reason. You see, when she married you, she said her for better or worse vows. And, instead of sticking by you at the "worst", she decided to divorce without trying to work things out.
Obviously, your daughter has a mind of her own, and doesn't want to see the woman that abandoned her after a divorce for her own selfish purposes. Because, that's what your ex-wife was, selfish.
It's best to leave your ex-wife behind. Tell her that you hold no grudge, no hard feelings, and that you're moving on with your life. Then, stop all connection with one another from that point on.
It seems to me that you and your daughter are probably doing a lot better without the miserable woman anyway.

Answer 6

I believe you already have an answer to this question. Frankly speaking, I feel that once you have lost faith in any relationship, the relationship will not last long. What is worst is that your daughter is not too keen to see her mother after all the abuse, why made her suffer. Remember "two wrongs don't make one right", since the relationship is a failure already why prolonged the agony. You have to considered carefully what is the best for your daughter and yourself, once you know that you have the answer to your question

Answer 7

Go counseling. Talk things over like what she's done and what u can and can't provide. Have a probation period(where u can see if there's going to be any change the way she is) If she pass/agrees then reconcile if not do what u can to be happy with ur daughter. Good Luck.

Answer 8

Has anything changed or has she done anything to improve the things that seemed irreconciliable at the time? Words mean little without action. The same problems will just surface again and your child's the most important thing. She needs you to advocate for her.

Answer 9

Don't use that kid as your excuse to manipulate answers! Go back with your wife if you want to--apparently the sex was great or you wouldn't even be asking. The child will only be happy if the parents are joyful in their hearts not in their MOUTHS! Your heart says go back and damn it you GO BACK!!!

Answer 10

Sounds like she is crazy. If I was married and my husband was having problems, that is no reason to get divorced. You stick with it if you really love each other.