My 11 yr old's father calls every 2 yrs and wants our son to come visit him out of state. Here's the situation: we divorced about 7 yrs ago and every time he goes to visit his father, there is always a different woman he's living with along with different kids. How do I explain to this person that he is not displaying a healthy relationship with his son. Everytime we talk, we end in an argument because he's so dense in the head. My son does not want to visit him, he's tried to tell his dad why and the man has an excuse for what has happened. I don't blame my son for not wanting to visit his dad. His dad feels I am the mastermind behind my son not wanting to visit him. So how do I get this man to understand why this 11 yr. old doesn't want to be around him? He thinks because he has a legal right to visit his son, that nothing else matters.
2006-10-14 13:55:13 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Hello. The first thing that comes to mind is evidently your son's father is not much of a father at all. The reason I say this is because you stated he calls every 2 years. What type of parent would only be concerned every 2 years. As far as it goes with your son not wanting to visit with him, I would respect my son's decision. Why make the child unhappy in forcing him to be with someone he really doesn't want to be with. The other issure here is unhealthy conduct with different women each time the child visit. Your ex-husband is not showing any respect toward the child nor himself. What kind of example is he showing the child by shacking and probably committing fornication. He should want to show this child love, respect, moral values, and most of all to fear God and obey God's commandments. So my answer to you is to just explain to your ex-husband that what he's doing is wrong in the eyesight of God and in the eyesight of his son. He has only himself to blame for his son's feeling, not you. Let him know that he needs to consider his son's way of thinking. Most of all he needs to be a man and a father. No decent father would expose his child to unhealthy matters of life and definitely wouldn't wait 2 years to see his child. I hope this advice helps you.
2006-10-14 14:13:26 · answer #1 · answered by Wendy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldnt let him visit out of the state.. or the city.. this man calls every 2 years and sounds like he feels it is owed to him ... well it is not... the lack of contact he has had with him on HIS part, and his lack of communication iwth his son tells alot... and it seems that your son see's this.. where is this man any other time .. why doesnt he put the effort into coming to your state to see the child.. let the child show him around where he (the child) has grown up and the things that he likes to do. I think that 11 years old is old enough to make a decision about if he wants to visit or not. I I think that your x should also understand that all these different women that have lived with him sets a bad example of morals to his son, if he must have different women as live ins then again it is a perfect example as to why the DAD needs to come to your state to see his son. He cant have it all.. with the little contact he has had how can he expect a child to want to go see him the child probally feels as does even know him anymore.. this man needs to consistantly visit and contact his son.. and make a relationship then talk about the child going out of state to visit him.. it seems like he needs not to be so selfish.
I know alot of men will probally answer this and say you are giving the man a bad rap... but blah blah blah blah... let them flap their mouths... every situation if different and it seems like you have a perfect right to feel the way you do... good luck .. and great question for looking out for the best intrest of the child.
2006-10-14 14:07:19 · answer #2 · answered by caligrl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in a couple of years your son can really decide on his own about things, but even right now if my kid didnt want to even she the dad i wouldnt make them no matter what. has your son ever just talked to his dad just on his own. let him do it to tell the so called father how he thinks of the situation of him having all those different women.
2006-10-14 14:22:50 · answer #3 · answered by daisy d 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is his child support paid up to date? if not he's a deadbeat dad and does not deserve visitation rights
2006-10-14 14:02:39 · answer #4 · answered by Jerry T 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe the only way to go with this is a medator soo that ur ex can see how ur son feels adn realize it is not u....
2006-10-14 14:04:32 · answer #5 · answered by Dannielle W 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Based on the portrait you're painting of him, how do you expect him to have a mature perspective on anything?
Maybe it's time to sue for full custody.
2006-10-14 13:57:04 · answer #6 · answered by You'll Never Outfox the Fox 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should consult with a family mediator, maintain a mature attitude
2006-10-14 13:58:07 · answer #7 · answered by southernboy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow....this sounds so much like my situation!!!! see an attorney. statutes vary state to state...in the mean time, start looking up facts to support your case...go to:
www.findlaw.com
GOOD LUCK!!!!!
2006-10-14 13:58:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋