During the course of 1 year my boss has gone through 6 assistants, I am now the 7th. She is verbally abusive to not only me but to the rest of the staff as well, she will actually scream at employees cursing and throwing things at them and calling them stupid, idiots, morons, etc. She seems to thrive off of breaking down confidence. The entire staff is in fear of her but is too scared to confront her. The owner and COO of our company have both witnessed her rampages on many occasions and have had multiple complaints regarding her. They refuse to do anything about it because she brings in the top paying clients.
I love my every other aspect of my job and have been with the company two years. I do not want to leave but I feel that I can no longer tolerate her behavior. It is breaking me down to the point where I get into my car at the end of the day and cry. I feel that I have tough skin and don’t take criticism personally but this is getting out of hand. Please help!
2006-10-14 13:43:43 · 12 answers · asked by qnas4u 1 in Business & Finance ➔ Careers & Employment
Start taking copious notes. Keep a log. Date & times are pertinent. Quotes. Jot down dates & times that you complained to the owner and COO. Keep it on the sly. Take it home with you nightly. Be as respectful and diligent as you are able. One day you will call an attorney and then you will have a solid paper trail for a possible lawsuit or claim against the company.
In the meantime, do not take on that energy. Allow it to pass up and over you, not through you. She is not you. Her words, her yelling, her personality is not you. You are better than that... smarter, that's why you'll take notes! ;)
2006-10-14 13:49:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Two years isn't very long; transfer to another boss or quit.
This woman is crazy. There's no placating her. Her life is her problem, not yours, you will never make her happy.
Do you have any company rules? If you do, I'm sure it's against the rules to yell at employees. Report her for her infractions, but if she has the kind of power you say you will lose that battle. I've seen it before.
Your best choice is to go out on medical for stress or just quit. You don't need to give notice, either, since she's such a ^&%*$. You can tell your future employer you had to leave because of verbal abuse; what else can you do?
If you like, you can write to the President and state the reason you left. The message may get through, but then again, who cares?
Never mention a thing to any client; she'll get a lawyer on your back. Leave them out of this.
If you leave, you will be happy with yourself very soon.
2006-10-14 23:09:54 · answer #2 · answered by n0witrytobeamused 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a way to take control of your life.
View your present job as temporary.
Start using your spare time to build a life-style.
You can't be responsible for whatever causes A.B. to act that way. Could be her time with us will be short. I know of a person identical temperament. She was a top real estate agent - multi-million dollar producer.
She died of cancer at an early age a short time ago. So - you never know.
Of course - you should have your own game plan to get away from the wimps that employ you......
You can start your own business in your spare time. Your accountant can tell you about tax benefits that you'll be eligible for.
Take a look at:
http://passion.first411.com
http://case-studies.first411.com to see what others have done.
No sense having your health negatively affected. Having a game-plan will give you the boost you need, right now.
More Power to You!
The advice above is excellent about documentation. Never hurts to have a recording device discreetly handy. :o)
About the HR Dept. Good advice .... if your company has one. Don't plan on a long career there.
If AB were to leave - could the company continue as profitably?
2006-10-14 20:56:19 · answer #3 · answered by Smilin' Fred 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm going through the exact same thing you are going through, but from the president of the company. My self esteem is so low, I too want to cry by the end of the day, and dread getting up every morning. It is so bad that I get so nervous when I have to talk to him, I end up fumbling with my words, and I hate myself even more. These people like to take kindness for weakness. Unfortunately I cant afford to quit my job. Now every time he belittles me I write it down. If this is any comfort to you, your not alone. I wish there was a company to work for that was only for nice happy people.
2006-10-15 04:03:17 · answer #4 · answered by DEBBIEdebbie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't need nor do you have to endure this type of abuse. This is unacceptable personally and in the eyes of the law. Inquire with your state's labor board to see if they are able to help. In the meantime, document these tirades done to you and others that you witness. Call your human resources dept and make them aware of what's going on in your office. HR has to act. They will advise you what to do and hopefully confront your bosses superiorsand/or your boss. You ofcourse get to remain anonymous and stress that this is what you wish to avoid a further uncomfortable working situation. Once they hear from HR,they will have to do something about this abusive boss.
Good luck and hang in there.
2006-10-14 20:52:20 · answer #5 · answered by mooseny35 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i was actually in a very similar situation with my last place of employment my employer was verbally abusive and again upper mgmt. wouldnt do anything cuz he was a big earner we went through tons of assistants and co-workers i was at the same breaking point as you i developed a very tough skin i was very short and serious with my boss and basically treated him the same way he treated me minus the cussing and put-downs and finally one day he said something that really put me over the edge and i told him that i wouldn't sue him but i wanted a month of severance pay,he was going to lay me off so i could get my employment insurance and he was going to write me a letter stating all this plus a glowing letter of recommendation and i got myself out of there. the point is upper mgmt. keeps your boss cuz she makes them money they won't change cuz they want money she wont change cuz she doesnt think she's wrong why waste your talent and spirit where its not appreciated ? I would approach your upper mgmt with that proposal and get searching for something where you will be happy! trust me it only gets worse i wasted 3 years and it never improved now that im gone im very happy!
2006-10-14 21:04:05 · answer #6 · answered by So Happy!! 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would imagine that you should start looking for a job before making the next move.
Meanwhile you have no choice but to take it calmly although it may be very hard on you.
Once you find a suitable new job, give a piece of your mind to her - but get ready to run if she starts throwing things at you.
2006-10-14 20:58:48 · answer #7 · answered by JP E 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Quit. Or transfer to another area. Talk to HR and tell them that it is a hostile work environment and you can't tolerate. Ask them to do something and if they won't, leave. It isn't worth the stress.
Good luck!
2006-10-14 20:47:58 · answer #8 · answered by personal_finance_101 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Use the power of communication. In one of her light moments, talk to your boss. If you don't have the courage to talk face-to-face, then write. Tell her how you feel, but in doing so, take into consideration her position as your superior. Stress your point, but maintain respect. Further, be prepared to how your boss might react. Good luck!
2006-10-14 22:40:49 · answer #9 · answered by sandy 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Verbal abuse is unacceptable. Nobody should do that, to you or anybody else. Contact the Fedaral or State Comissions. Or, better yet, sue her for harassment.
2006-10-14 20:57:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋