My sister just had a baby and she thinks that if we hold him to much he will become too used to us holding him

Question

is she being overprotective?

Answer 1

I don't think so. I know that it isn't a good habit if the baby has to sleep in your arms.

Answer 2

Is the problem that someone other than her is holding him or that he's being held at all?

I was very protective as a first time mom and really didn't want anyone other than myself our my husband holding our daughter. That's normal. Give her a little time to adjust. She just gave birth and now her baby's on the outside where she can't always protect him -- that's a scary realization.

If she's worried about him getting used to being held as opposed to being in a crib, well, it's biologically and developmentally appropriate for a baby to want to be held. You cannot spoil a baby by holding him too much. It will help them bond and help him organize his neurological system so he'll cry less and put that energy toward growing instead. If she wants her hands free, she can still carry him in a sling so he'll be comfortable and cuddled right next to her heart.

Answer 3

Yes she is exactly right. Some babies get so used to being held that they will be alot harder to put down to sleep, they will wake up wanting to be held, They will cry constantly until they are picked up.. the list can go on.. she is just saying that to make life easier for herself. After all if everyone else is holding the baby all day she is the one that has to cure the crying and put up with even more sleepless nights because of it. I know that holding the baby is all people want to do, but she is just using her commonsense. If she has already had a baby before then she is just preventing the mistakes she made with the first.

Answer 4

What's wrong with a baby "getting used to" being held? What better way to make him feel secure and loved? It sounds like she is afraid of spoiling and I don't believe that can happen at such a young age. Holding your baby is one thing that you are sure you won't be able to do for long, so while you can, I say DO IT!

Answer 5

Sure...if she doesn't want to bond with or have a secure child.
You can't "spoil" or hold a newborn too much. Being held and having his cries answered are his only sense of security. The baby needs to bond with his parents and know that he is loved and cared for. If you respond to your babies cries each time, you're not spoling him, you're teaching him that when he needs something he will be heard. Being distant with your baby is plain ridiculous.

Answer 6

She is not being overprotective, she is avoiding her child! HOLD THE BABY!!! An infant needs love, nurturing, and a sense of security. Then the child will feel safe and be content and not cry. When and infant cries it needs something i.e. food, diaper change, LOVE.

Answer 7

Some people believe that but i don't. i don't think that she is being overprotective, I think that she believes it when people say that if you hold a child to much that they will be spoiled. I held my children as much as I could and they are very independent, happy, and most of all affectionate children. But since he is her child, please try to be respectful of her wishes and not hold him as much.

Answer 8

Some people think its not safe to expose a newborn to everyone, some people with a cold or sniffles will pick up a baby and not think anything about it. I think parent should take caution when passing around newborns. Also too much passing around my interfere with the sleep pattern.

Answer 9

Yes she is overprotective. I was like that with my first one. I later learned that they love to be held that's how they learn our bodies. That's also how they can tell there mother from any one else. She'll come around and will be forcing him in your arms.

Answer 10

I think she will learn when she needs to hold him and when to let him cry. I did both for my two. We loved to hold them and cuddle with them, and yeah we did pick them up when they cried. For the first couple of months we did pick them up when they cried. However, they do get to know that as they get older, so after about 6-7 months we started to let them cry abit longer before we ran for them. It broke my heart, but it had to be done. Especially at night. However, here is a reason on her behalf. My friends son is 14months old and he still won't sleep through the night because she doesn't give him time to fall back asleep on his own. I know he knows that, he'll cry and scream till she gets there (believe me it's not long time). He is starting to be like that through the day too, because she was always picking him up. I just think you need to know when to start letting them calm themselves down.

Answer 11

For the first four or five months its good and very advisable to hold a baby when they cry, because that shows them that mommy / daddy is there for them and that teaches them trust.