I want a divorce. I've asked him for a divorce a few times. He's agreed, left but keeps returning as if nothing ever happened and as if nothing was ever talked about. This last time he said he was going to his mothers while things got ironed out..he was spotted sleeping in the park in his truck..then the next night he just rolled into the parking space and sat there with the motor stil running and trying to get some sleep. Everytime I feel sorry for him and take him back. I want him to know I'm serious but i don't want to crush him. I'm just tired of arguing and fighting. We've done counseling..i know if we divorced things would be alright. I don't know what to do.
2006-10-14 12:33:31 · 24 answers · asked by justwonderingwhatever 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You do not need his approval to get a divorce. Go to a lawyer tell them the situation and go from there.
2006-10-14 12:36:14 · answer #1 · answered by snoop_dougie_doug04 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to discuss this with him when you are not in an argument. It is obvious that he doesn't believe that you are serious. He looks at the divorce threat as nothing more than a dramatic ploy you use during a fight, and taking him back every time just reinforces his belief. It isn't an easy thing to sit down and discuss it rationally, but it must be done if you are ever going to get out of this situation. Divorce is never easy, even when you know it's for the best. The sooner you do it, the sooner you can move on with your life.
2006-10-14 19:40:24 · answer #2 · answered by roknrolr63 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1. Find a new and safe place to go. 2. Pack up your stuff and go there. 3. Contact an attorney. 4. Have your hubby served with the divorce papers. 5. Deal with the sense of loss. 6. Continue to live. 7. Be happy. 8. Be ready for someone better to fall head over heels in love with you. 9. Be happier! This is not 1950, you can divorce him without his consent. File the paperwork so that the two of you can both move on and stop the fighting and frustration.
2006-10-14 20:02:56 · answer #3 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure you want a divorce or just a break. Divorces are hard on both parties and you don't sound like you want a divorce because you keep feeling sorry for him. If you really want a divorce, seek a lawyer and once papers are served to him while he's in living in his truck or wherever, he will get the picture, otherwise, if you keep feeling sorry for him, you two will be back together.
2006-10-14 20:38:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you both have some ambivalence about what you really want. He wants to avoid the problem altogether and you keep investing feelings in him that are not in line with someone wanting out of the relationship. Be sure what you want and make your move--why haven't you done that? Are you sure this is really what you want or do you really want him to change? If you have kids, think about how best to deal with the situation--divorce has become a quick fix in our fast-paced society and, while it comes with a price, it's often the easy way out. Remember the vows you made and consider if you want to get divorced in spite of them--I'm not telling you not to, I'm telling you to be certain.
2006-10-14 19:39:32 · answer #5 · answered by heyrobo 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well you say you have asked for a divorce and you believe things will be okay. im assuming that you mean he will have to act like a man and stop looking for sympathy and that you will take care of him. he must see that you dont want to crush him, but you have to do what is gonna make you happy. if you are at the divorce stage and have been through counseling things are done with between you two. call a lawyer and get things moving. protect yourself, get the accts and everything in your name. make sure he cant be setting things up for his benefit.
2006-10-14 19:41:10 · answer #6 · answered by hamhead 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, being nice isn't working, so you are going to have to get a little forceful with him; not physically, but make it known to him that you are serious and he has got to go away and leave you alone. Find a good lawyer and file the papers; you don't need your husband's permission or consent in most states. He will keep manipulating you as long as he can. I know it's hard because you feel sorry for him, but it's time to take a stand for yourself and do what you want and need to make yourself happy. Good luck!
2006-10-14 19:41:03 · answer #7 · answered by remmymarie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why do YOU keep taking him back when he returns? IF you really wanted a divorce you would have at the very least filed by now. Instead you let him come back home. Obviously you didn't take enough counseling, because you really don't know what you want. You have to make up your mind first.
2006-10-15 05:09:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It would not matter where he slept or whether he approved of getting a divorce if I really wanted one. Something that strikes me is your putting it off also and trying to convince yourself you feel sorry for him. Could it be your also having some doubts about it? Honey, if your marriage is really over and you want a divorce get one and never worry about someone. Sounds cruel but not if you don't love this man. Live your life and let him fend for his self. If he chooses to sleep in his truck that is him since he is a grown man. Best Of Luck
2006-10-14 19:55:04 · answer #9 · answered by cejay1953 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
it seems to me like he really doesn't want a divorce and he's hoping you'll change your mind. i don't know what he has done for you to want to leave him but if he was acting like an *** then he made his bed so now he should have to sleep in it (so to speak). don't feel sorry for him, you can't live your life worried about other peoples feelings, i made that mistake. you'll be miserable. there are ways to get the divorce without his consent. if he keeps this up for too long you might want to consider moving
2006-10-14 19:39:36 · answer #10 · answered by lynne 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋