Hypothetical Question Here: Let's say you're at the mall, you have the worst case of the *runs* EVER...

Question

You madly dash for the public restroom and barely make it before the "volcano" erupts. As the "downward flow" progresses - you notice that there is NO toilet paper in the stall. You later find that there is no TP anywhere in the bathroom, no paper towels, no soap, nothing!
Then to make matters worse, you discover that you dropped a $200 wad of cash into the bowl from your back pocket. It is now covered with the Mexican/beer/corn mixture that was building up from the previous evening of drunken debauchery. We're talking massive mess here!

What do you do?

Remember, no TP, no soap, no paper towels! You're alone with nobody to call for help. And ladies you have NOTHING in your purse that can help you either!


10 points for the most creative or funniest idea!

Answer 1

First I would remove the wad of bills. Money is money whether or not it's covered in poop. Then I would run to the bathroom door, shut it, lock it if possible, and barracade it from the inside with any available garbage cans. If anyone were to see what was about to happen in here... well, the humiliation would be too much for me to bear. The next impending problem would then be the cleaning of my bum. I would start at one end of the bathroom, wiggle up against the wall, and wipe all the way down to the other end. Any remaining residue would have to be wiped away with my panties. My panties would then need to be thrown away because, lets face it, poop panties just aren't salvagable. If it was still uncomfortable I'd use one of my socks. I am now pantiless and potentially wearing only one sock, but I do have a clean bum. I'd then put the poopy money into my other sock so I have something to carry it in. Then I'd flush, rinse my hands with water (no soap, right?) and do a touchup on my hair and makeup. Then I'd casually slip out the door and go to the information desk in the mall to lodge a complaint about a disgusting mess that someone made all over the wall in the washrooms.

Excellent question by the way, I quite enjoyed it :o)

Answer 2

I would take the 200 out of the toilet, take 3 of the bills (preferably the ones) go over to the sink (you didn't say there was no water), wash them off and wipe with them. Then I would proceed to wash the rest of the bills and buy a new pair of shoes.

Answer 3

Well, first I would grab myself the money. Then I would take off my underwear and give er a good wipin and just put my pants back on. Then I would through away my underwear and rinse off the cash.

Then I would make a mad dash for the car and hope no one can smell real good.

Answer 4

I thank god it's just the first date (and probably the last). I climb out the bathroom window, move to Utah and change my name.

Answer 5

I'd take off my undies and use that. Socks if I'm wearing those. And as for as the money goes, well 200 is too much to loose, in I'd go.

Answer 6

well that,s a toughy, well most washrooms have garbage cans & well there should be old paper towels in it, so I,d probly use them, for myself & for the money, & well with 200 in my pocket I truly would,nt care what anyone thought, it,d be kinda funny to see all the stange lookes you,d get if someone caught you, & went out & told someone. har har.

Answer 7

I would wipe my *runs covered butt* on the stall door. Then, taking my off, i would rap it around my hand and reach in the toilet and pull out my wallet. I would run to the sink, soak my butt in it, rinse of my wallet and T-shirt, then walk out like nothing ever happend. lol

Answer 8

I just reach right in, I ain't no prissy pants! And I'd probly use my undies to wipe, though there may not be enough material.....

Answer 9

call 911

Answer 10

200 you say, well ad be in there , who cares