jealous and insecure?

Question

i am 17 yrs younger than my husband,i am sexy,and beautiful,a great mother and housewife.my husband is working 12 hrs a day and is always gone.i am so jealous and possesive of him,don't trust him at all,NONE no trust.i feel so insecure that he will cheat.he keeps telling me thaat hes not leaving his family for no other woman regardless how preet she is.but i can't find myself to get over being jealous.where he works have alot of woman coming in and out,and sometimes i feel so afraid that he might want to get involved with someone one day.i don't want to be arguing all the time becuz i'm jealous,and hes knows this,and sometimes he makes me feel hes doing it purposly.Can u plz help me stop being so insecure about my self?and my husband.cuz hes not trying to make it any easier.

Answer 1

There is nothing wrong with your feelings. A woman needs attention, love, affection, and good sex. If he is not spending enough time with you and working 12-hour days, he is either cheating on you or simply blind to the fact that he married you to SPEND TIME with you. He may be busy building his empire, and that's fine, but if he is hurting you in the process, that signals that the method is flawed. Talk to him and tell him how you feel. He may not realize that he is doing it. Tell him that you miss him and that you need him to spend more time with you. A WOMAN NEEDS HER ATTENTION. I am a married man and I went through something similar. My wife began to fatten up and be depressed. One day God (yes, God) game me a vision in which I saw her eating crumbs from a plate and having a grieved look on her face. That was quite an awakening for me. Since then, I come home when I'm supposed to and spend more time with her. I have also stopped checking out the other women as much and our relationship has flourished. We are in love all over again.
In life you need to be INTENTIONAL. If you want something, you have to go out and get it. Capice?
Mr. M on "insecure."

Answer 2

What has your husband done to make u feel so insecure and jealous other than the fact that he's working with other women? Because if that's your only reason then u are just being pathetic. He is working 12 hrs a day to support u and his family..what else do u want him to do? And why did u marry him if u couldn't trust him?
The truth is, no amount of reassurance from him is going to convince u if the problem is within u.

If u don't change your attitude towards him, sooner or later u will actually drive him to do the very thing that u fear the most.

Answer 3

Here is a totally free lesson in life that I am giving you.
1) YOU are responsible for your emotions, not your husband or anyone else. It is the chemicals YOU produce in your body that causes these feelings. When you begin to have these feelings, just STOP it dead in its tracks. Just do not go there. It is a waste of energy, a waste of time, and it surely is causing you a lot of problems in your life, and his life.
2) YOU are 17 years younger then he! To him, you are all but a testament to his prowess! I am not saying you are a trophy wife, but think about it! Normally, it is the older guy who is doing the worrying...so what's up with this?
3) He gives you no reason to worry, and if I were he, I would probably let you stew in it also...hell, that is really flattering to him!
4) Now, just stop the bull, be a good wife (as you are), stop with the insecurity (if you had reasons to be insecure, he wouldn't have married you in the first place).
5) Take the time to give you and your relationship a really good look..the guy is working his butt off to keep you in "nice." What more do you want...to own him? Come on now..relax, give him some praise instead of suspicion and enjoy the relationship. It sounds as if you have it very good and just don't know it.
Good luck

Answer 4

Wow... You don't sound happy. He's great! but..... Does he go out with his friends or do extracurricalur activities without you or the boys? If not, you should encourage it. If so, is he doing something behind your back and therefore worried about you doing it to him? (it's said the guilty ones point the finger) Have you tried to talk to him about this? Letting him know how his actions and comments make you feel? Does he know you find him emotionally draining? If so, is he receptive? Does he genuinely WANT to change but finds it hard to break the "habit"? Maybe couples counseling would help, if he's willing. (And he should be if he loves you!) If he isn't receptive and doesn't seem to care how you feel then maybe you should consider leaving him. You're obviously sick of the childish games and ready for a mature and understanding relationship. I am sure leaving would be very difficult considering the children and the time spent with him but if you are emotionally unhappy and drained that can't be good for you or your children. Some good old-fashioned soul searching might give you the answer you're looking for. I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 5

Nobody can control the way you feel or behave except for YOU. You are jealous and insecure, not to mention immature. By behaving like a silly teenager, you will drive your more mature husband away. Men don't put up with that kind of crap for long. He will resent you for not trusting you, and your games will get old. The only thing that will make him stray is your jealousy and insecurity. Think about it. Ironic, isn't it?

Answer 6

It sounds like you are a bit insecure and while you say you are beautiful, etc, you may also be suffering from low self-esteem.

We cannot rely on others to improve our self-esteem. That must come from ourselves. It sounds like you have a lot of responsibility and don't have much time for yourself.

Try seeing a therapist. You need to work on being a happier you. Once you are able to work out your own feelings, you will have a more positive outlook on your husband and your marriage.

Good luck to you!

Answer 7

If you don't trust your husband, why did you marry him? I hate to say but the odds are against you and your marriage if you don't trust your husband. If your man is gonna cheat then he will cheat. You can't stop them. As for as your trust issues, they can lead your husband to another woman. For example, let's say your husband kissed a girl. He might feel guilty, he might not feel guilty. He might even feel guilty to a certain extent. In addition he will be thinking "oh well, she doesn't trust me anyway". That is where it starts and escalates. You are tremendously pressuring him and some men under pressure ***** up. Another things is when men are experiencing trust issues from their partner, they tend to distance themselves. In other words they don't open up and they won't say how they feel. Honey, you gotta get a grip. Continuing on this path will DESTROY your marriage. I know your husband says that he is not leaving you, but he can't predict what the future hold should things get complicated.

Answer 8

Oh boy have you got problems!First off ,jealousy is bred by insecurity,if you are insecure that is the problem you should be addressin not the jealousy,that is just a side effect.ask yourself why you feel insecure,is it because you have no control of his schedule,or is his success making you feel invalidated because he spends so much time at the office instead of with you.my advice is to seek proffessional help and save your marriage,because this can cause serious damage to your relationship.Be part of the solution not the problem.AND DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE ,GOOOD LUCK STAY IN TOUCH.

Answer 9

You're focusing on your lack of trust and that's not good. Thoughts create - so stop it! Redirect your energies into something positive - find a hobby to take your mind off worrying so much. And when you do get nervous, remind yourself of all your husband's best traits. If you don't trust him, you shouldn't have married him in the first place.

Answer 10

How you can complicate your own life more, jealousy is one of the most stupid things to ruin any good day and relationship. Where is the trust and power of love to make the tomorrow better then today and care of each other and handle happy family.