Any advice for overcoming social anxiety or shyness?

Question

In the past I have had debilitating shyness in few social situations which border on the line of being full-blown anxiety attacks. Even when I'm comfortable in a situation I'm quiet which people always interpret as shy or even very rude and they will comment on it which then makes me very uncomfortable and even more reseved (sometimes a little angry too).

Answer 1

i think this is related to self esteem, usually the cause of a parent.
i had this problem as i was the second daughter,( my dad wanted a boy) one is 'ok' but the second uh oh, of course i was a very shy and sensitive child any way which didnt help, so i started to behave like a boy! only this was not natural for me, i mutilated my dolls and was a troublesome teenager, my parents split when i was 13 and now iam 36 and iam assertive, sensitive and grounded, sadly i dont see my dad, i love him so much and miss him terribly iam still close to my mum.
shyness is a terrible thing as it takes sometimes many yrs to conquer, your question is the best question i have ever heard on this site.
iam certain many will be able to relate to you.

it does go back to childhood, for you my advice would be find out why, ponder your early yrs and relationships, then slowly interact with ppl sit in the center of town and just watch them yes some are very funny they wear odd clothes have big noses and walk funny! talk to them about biscuits while waiting for a bus, learn some jokes that made you laugh and tell them.
you are a valid person equal to madonna, elvis, mrs jones next door, nobody has ever walked the planet that is more valuable than you, because you are unique.

Answer 2

I was a lot like you describe early in my life. I was okay with small numbers of people that I knew but didn't ever enjoy it. One on one like with a date was always fine after I got to know her. At that time in my life I moved to the US and was forced into many situations that over time helped me learn how to deal with these situations and my feelings around them. That 'panic' or 'chill' is still somewhat there but I overcome it. I am telling you the above only to try and make you understand that you can and must overcome this. It put a wall between you and the most important part of living. I am sure you wouldn't be asking this question if you didn't feel that you are missing out on something. There are therapies that I am told work very well. The daughter of someone I worked with suffered terribly. I did talk to her a little about it and once she found the right help. I think she went through three or four different therapists before she found someone that was the right fit. Stop caring what others think of you. You are unique and have something no one else can give. Clench your teeth and move ahead. It is a matter of mind over matter. Plain and simple. You can email me if you have any more questions or need encouragement.

Answer 3

God that is so me. Well actually its gotten better as I've gotten older (I'm 25 now). I think for myself if I try not to go into a situation thinking too much about it, I feel somewhat more comfortable. I also try to remind myself to breath. I also try to smile if someone makes eye contact with me. I just had to accept that this is just kind of the way I am; I am not a social butterfly and probably never will be and that is ok.
When I first started college I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and clinical depression and was put on some medications. They worked for a while for me. It might be an option for you. Just know they won't fix everything.
I hope some of this helps. Good luck to you. :)

Answer 4

The first thing you should do is to find out why you're so quiet. Fear of being made fun of....having nothing to say...finding the conversation boring or not of your type...nobody cares...etc...
Then try thinking of something happy, I know it sounds gay, but it works when I'm in a bad mood. Something that you're looking forward to, it doesn't have to be big, it can be something like going shopping...
The best advice I can give you is to thing that they are no better than you are and that you can always change. Oh and don't hunch over, keep a good posture-makes you look better.
Whatever you do don't get drunk, just have 1 or 2 beers and that's it, otherwise you'll end up being the clown of the party and making things a lot worse on you.

Answer 5

Using drugs you become person with a limp that never learns how to walk on their own feet. There is nothing wrong being moderately shy and quiet. It is hard to answer your question with example given. Example If your a cruse ship social director then having supervisor comment on your shyness should make you anxious. If you person at party trying to have good time, then why worry about what others are saying. In younger days didn't have guts to dance. This mostly came from over self-consciousness of what others might think. Now I'll try any dance and could care less what others think. Almost any dance, because my brake dancing days are over, and it does not bother me to sit out dances not my speed. Learn your dancing speed, and forget about what others say.

Answer 6

I have read some litterature about panic attacks. But they allways seem to have a more scientific approach and that is nothing I need in my struggle to survive those horrible panic attacks. This is a "hand on" and very practical book. I felt it was written to me. I am sure that you are going to feel the same.

Joe Barry writes exactly how I think. The examples are perfectly described. And the method is genius. I recommend this book and thanks Joe Barry for writing it. It changes your life

Answer 7

I would suggest receiving CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy), which is a evidence-based, research-supported treatment for a variety of different disorders.

You might also want to consider taking meds, which can also provide incredible results with SAD.

Answer 8

Avoid using drugs or alcohol--that's the losers way out! Just ease into the conversation--ppl like to hear about themselves, so find out what they're into & talk about that. B4 u know it, u will have broken ur ice! Bless U

Answer 9

#1 Social Reprogramming Method - http://SocialAnxiety.uzaev.com/?VDjp

Answer 10

Look fervently for what you're interested in until you find it. Focus on what makes you different, and learn what makes you the same as other people