My ex left me a couple weeks ago, she is 5 months pregnant with my kid... she made me out to be a woman beater, which never happend, and left me with nothing. immediately after she left she slept with an old fling. I waited for her to come back, after a while i met this girl that is amazing, just the sweetest person ever... she even got me to quit smoking. Well two days after this girl and I make it "official", the first girl comes back confesses her undying love for me, appologizes to me for everything, and tells me that all she wants is to have a family with me. Now I am torn, all i want is a simple life, and my family, but i don't know if i should forgive her and pick up the pieces to try and start over, or if i should just continue with this new girl that has done nothing wrong.... I AM SO DAMN CONFUSED.... please help
2006-10-14 10:09:19 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
the baby's mom has got first dibs. if you thought enough about her to get her pregnant, she deserves a shot.
The other girl was an nice break,that is all.
2006-10-14 10:11:51 · answer #1 · answered by onelonevoice 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is totally rough man! I would be just as confused.
You kind of have to have some sort of relationship with this girl because of the baby weather it is platonic or intimate.
If I were you I think I might seek some counselling with the mother of your child and talk about the issues. She doesnt seem to have her head right on her shoulders. It doesnt sounds safe to jump in to a relationship with her again though.
Either way though, you cant just turn your back on her now that you gave her a baby. That little one is going to need you and you have to step up to that responsibility. Her mom sounds a little confused about her life so you need to be the pillar of strength for that baby and that might mean being a pillar of strength for the mother too.
I think you should be up front with this other girl. Tell her you really like her but maybe now isnt the greatest time. If she is a decent woman she is will respect and admire your ability to be responsible. Make her feel better though by letting her know you arent really interested in your ex, but you helped to make a baby and now you have to help take care of it. Call her when things are a little calmer in your life and you know what direction things are going to go.
Maybe after counselling ( and after a little counselling just for your ex) you two will be able to work something out and have a happy family. But maybe not. Maybe you two will just be platonic and learn how to get along for the sake of the baby. If that is what happens, call the other girl back. Dont hold on to her when you cant give her your all, that wouldnt be fair to her.
Good luck!
2006-10-14 10:22:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Consider that you have a responsibility to your unborn child but not to the mother. She has lied and betrayed you. Do you still love her? Thats the important question. Will you ever be able to trust her again? Does she realy love you if she said these things about you? You sound like you could do better. See your ex as friends and see how it goes-dont get too involved with her or the new girl until you sort your head out as you could find yourself with 2 pregnant girlfriends if you are not very careful. Take your time. Are you sure the baby to be is yours? There are lots of things you realy must consider. dont be too quick to make any commitments to anybody. When the child is born have a DNA test and make sure that you help to bring it up whether you stay with the girl or not.
2006-10-14 10:19:44 · answer #3 · answered by angeldust 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations for quitting cigarettes. These new girl has a strong positive effect on you. You should stay with her. Besides it could be hard for you to forgive your ex because she didn't´t only slept with someone else. She did it while being pregnant of your baby ( that's brutal ) and right after accusing you of something that never happened. I´m always in favor of people moving toward positive energies.
In your case it´s pretty clear who´s got them.
2006-10-14 12:51:54 · answer #4 · answered by Loser Millionaire 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if the prego one knew about the new girl and how happy she made you, then she probably realized what she did was stupid and seeing someone else make you that happy drove her crazy. a friend of mine went through the same dilemma, only no one was pregnant. no one can help you make this choice except for you. you have to do what is going to make you happy and what your heart tells you to. even tho your ex is carrying your child, if you can't be happy with her, then the relationship is doomed before it starts, which in turn, can harm the child after it is born. especially if there is a lot of fighting going on. children no matter how big or small can sense when things are worng. you have to be friends and have something to grow from to be long term partners even when there is a child involved. if not, then no ones happy and it can only end badly. (i married my son's father b/c of having a child with him, and now, we are getting divorced and our son is the one paying for it) so listen to your heart.
2006-10-14 10:26:02 · answer #5 · answered by gizmo_chik04 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah, let it go now....there's a kid involved now....its not about either one of you anymore, its about the baby. give the baby the best chance possible. WORK IT OUT, YOU STILL LOVE HER! and dont even give her a small reason to call you a woman beater....if u get mad or think about hitting her, just leave and take a walk or something.
2006-10-14 10:11:46 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
move on and pay child support you have rights to see the baby you are going to break this other girl heart are you could tell the new girl she may understand you trying to start a family please forgive you you really thought it was over between you and in your woman to before
2006-10-14 10:20:24 · answer #7 · answered by annjilena 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she left u coz she thought she found a better life somewhere.. if u love urself i suugest u go for where ur heart is, but if u r a caring person, that woman is carrying ur baby... go for her, u never know where he/she might end or get abused by what kind of man later in life...
i think the mother of ur kid deserves a better chance for the sake of the baby
2006-10-14 10:13:33 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
first off if she left u and slept with someone else while shes carrying ya child where is the respect at? she left u and now that u have someone better she wants u back. she's hatin and don't wanna see u happy. take care of ya child (if it's urs) leave her (ya baby momma) dumb, hatin butt A-L-O-N-E.
2006-10-14 10:36:50 · answer #9 · answered by TamLuv2406 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go back to pregnant one (#1 if she is not crazy,#2 if there are feelings left for her). You will be a father. Take responsibility on yourself now.
2006-10-14 10:15:19 · answer #10 · answered by kinga310 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋