She was a work collegue of mine, and i was trying to be friendly as she didn't have many friends. My husband was very drunk when he tried it on. I was dealing with a breast lump and he said he did it as i didn't pay him enough attention. The one at work recently he was texting her to talk to as he said he can't talk to me. I constantly want to talk but he won't discuss it. He says it's in the past. In Jan i told him to leave which he did. 2 days later i begged him to come back, which he did. I'm really trying to put it in the past and move on but he has now made me into an insecure and jelous person, which i never was. I think i'm scared if he was to leave. I do love him, but don't think i will ever trust him or forgive him. Just don't know what to do for the best.
2006-10-14 09:03:11 · 14 answers · asked by alfie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Try counseling if you still love him..
2006-10-14 09:25:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've become jealous and insecure following my husbands affair, he swears it's over but I'm not sure, I keep finding things out that indicate he's lying. We are having counselling through my church, which is very challenging. I'm having to reconsider the way I treated him before he had the affair, and try to be a better person, whilst expecting more from him too by way of openness and honesty. The most challenging thing my pastor said to us is that we can't change each other, we can only change ourselves, so if we both want to make this work, we both have to change. I think your husband has been trying to get your attention by making you jealous, but it's time he and you together get help so you can move on from this.
2006-10-15 02:53:43 · answer #2 · answered by good tree 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The two of you need to go for counseling or therapy, in order for your marriage to survive. That will probably be the only way that you are going to be able to forgive your husband. You need to try and communicate with him. Sometimes people react different, at the time all of this was going on, your was dealing with your lump, and in his own way, he was also! But he made a bad choice, and that is what you are both dealing with now! If you can find in your heart to forgive him, and move on, talk , talk.
2006-10-14 09:26:36 · answer #3 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are now scared and insecure, then you must go on without him.Your jealousy from the past will destroy the relationship.
Any person that takes advantage of someone trying to be a new friend should tell you something about her..
She probably has done this before and will do it again.
If your husband is texting and talking to her, cause he can't talk to you.... the dirty deed has already been done....
He is not supportive and that is not acceptable in a marriage.
Take your power back and make a positive and good decision that will help you heal and be strong...
Let him go... he is one of the wolves in the pack.....
2006-10-14 09:09:40 · answer #4 · answered by doclakewrite 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jeeze! the poor baby, you didn't pay him enough attention, so that gave him the right to look elsewhere and do what he did! Not a thought about what you were going through! Tell him to leave and mean it this time, don't be foolish and take him back! He is a self centered jerk! so everytime he feels like you aren't giving hm enough attention, he will do the same thing with other women. Girl! wake up, the writing is on the wall!
2006-10-14 09:15:25 · answer #5 · answered by Gerry 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sound like you are having mixed feeling and need to do some sole searching for your self. It is the hardest thing to get over but you have to follow your heart and do what it tells you to do. You first need to find out the truth and then decide if forgiveness is there in your heart and move on. The forgetting part is the hardest and will not just leave but in time you will learn to trust again if with him or someone else. Take care and do what your heart tells you to do. God Bless You
2006-10-14 09:16:40 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello Love.
Dear me,this man really thinks he can have his cake and eat it,he was comin g up with all sorts of excuses..and you know there is not one!
You need to love this guy enough to let him go,you are never going to trust him again..and who would.Think about yourself and you deserve better.Please do not stay with him...you forgive him sure,but he has a lot of growing up to do,and you have another life to find..you are too good for him.There is never an excuse for infidielity.He is also a coward by not talking to you about his mistakes..leave now before he has chance to hurt you again..because he will.
2006-10-14 09:15:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
how can you love someone who does that to you espesialy when your nerves are all over the place thinking about the lump i hope you got the all clear on the lump you dont need a rat in your life get rid of him
2006-10-14 09:08:42 · answer #8 · answered by taz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont stay with someone just for security... it may seem easier that way but you will never have peace of mind living like that..... it sounds like you´re not happy and to be honest your hubby sounds like a d!ck..... tell him to leave.... if you seperate and you have kids he has to pay you child support and even if he wont pay it immediately the government will usually help.... either way whats more important.... money or happiness?
2006-10-14 09:10:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alfie!!!???
Whats is all about??????? You have a lump in your breaast and YOU are not paying him attention. Get rid of the jerk!!!
2006-10-14 09:27:03 · answer #10 · answered by -------- 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋