At work (i am a teacher) i often speak to groups of 200 or more people and deal a lot with the public but I really hate going out meeting new people. I am married but rarely go out because i feel terrible in social situations. i feel i have nothing to say so say very little. I once saw something on the news about a condition in men that makes it difficult to cope with social situations. I am trying to find out more about it. Any help will be appreciated.
2006-10-14 08:20:40 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Men's Health
i know how you feel man. i think it's about pretending to be confident long enough to trick your mind into it.
2006-10-14 08:22:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say that it's all to do with the way you were brought up - if your family was outgoing and always socialising (is that a word?) then you'd probably follow in their lead. If they were not and had only a small circle of friends (or family) then you have no role model to follow and have to muddle through in your own way.
At work you're different because you're using your professional skills not your natural instincts.
I speak from experience - I remember once meeting a friend of my wife and her husband, they had the same Christian & Surnames as us (an icebreaker if ever there was), but I froze and said little or nothing all.
2006-10-14 08:42:33 · answer #2 · answered by akawellsy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not familiar with the name of the condition you speak of, but you may simply be an introverted personality. I am. It's no biggie.
I like being by myself and find it hard to get 'into' group situations. I prefer one or two friends at a time who I am already comfortable with. I am also comfortable in my own company and dot not experience lonliness even though I spend a lot of time alone.
All this is to say that if you can speak comfortably to large groups and deal with the public you are probably more 'normal' that a lot of the rest of us. Just be ok with yourself.
2006-10-14 08:26:42 · answer #3 · answered by Puzzler 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sounds like a normal behaviour, not disfunctional at all.
Especially not with a stressful job like wot u have got!!!
The condition you refer to is called "grumpy old man" , join the club!!!
ps read the Daily Telegraph ( if you don't already) this will give you plenty of material to rant and rave about when in those tedious social situations.
2006-10-14 08:25:42 · answer #4 · answered by Not Ecky Boy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I make a big effort to enjoy my work life but when I go out I can't relate to the way people behave. I tried to counter it by drinking copious amounts thinking something would explode and I would be the funniest man in the universe but with the opposite effect. Look and listen to the people who make you feel awkward and say "Thank God I will never come out with crap like that"
2006-10-14 11:17:09 · answer #5 · answered by David R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sometimees like that, but I try to be outgoing. It's actually easy, just ask simple everyday questions and that's how the first step. After that, it becomes easier to talk to that person. You're situation is that you can't connect easily with one particular person with socializing. Good luck Professor!
2006-10-14 08:25:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
society tends to indoctrinate us that we are all to be social beings. while this may be true for some, it doesn't have to be the norm for all.
there are certain environments where everyone feels safe and comfortable. this is called your safety zone. when asked to venture beyond our safety zone, many of us feel anxious, afraid, and unwilling to so. THAT'S PERFECTLY OK!
you are the one responsible for your own happiness. if you are perfectly content to stay at home or avoid social situations, then do it and don't feel like you're abnormal. NO ONE can dictate our emotions, feelings, etc. we need to accept ourself the way we are.
2006-10-14 11:51:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well i suffer from socal anxity disorder, and i have this same problem, i am a female and i talk to people at work(that i do not know) but i cant talk to anyone in public i have anxity attacks.
2006-10-14 08:26:13 · answer #8 · answered by malinda 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's normally. I am exactly the same as you. But it don't bother me none. If it bothers you, go see a therapist they ill help you get it sorted.
2006-10-14 08:23:04 · answer #9 · answered by Curlylox 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're just introverted. I am, too. You overcome it for your job, but in your off time, you like piece & quite! Very normal.
2006-10-14 08:23:20 · answer #10 · answered by Miss Anthrope 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋