I am 15 years old and my boyfriend is 17 years old. I think im pregnant because im period is 3 weeks late.I told my boyfriend and he said it was ok with him because he wanted a baby anyway. I told my mom and she said that she already knew because of the way I have been acting.I just dont know how to tell my dad. I was pregnant before but I didnt have the baby and I never told my mom or my dad.I want to have to baby but I think I am too young, but my boyfriend wants the baby .Can somebody tell me what I should do?
2006-10-14 07:54:35 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
You are the only one who can truly make this decision. Nobody on here is going to be there for you if you have another abortion or have to go through the pregnancy, give birth and raise a child that you ALREADY think you are too young for.
As far as your boyfriend goes, it is YOUR body and no matter what he says or how sincere he seems, there are no guarantees that he will stick around forever - your child, however, will be in your life until the day that you die.
I am surprised that after having one abortion, that you would continue to have unprotected sex! Whatever Y O U choose to do, please get on some sort of birth control. That will prevent you from asking some thousands of strangers a question that you already know the answer to!
Good Luck!
2006-10-14 08:02:33 · answer #1 · answered by Christy 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hello Candy. Honey I am so sorry that you are in this situation. Having a baby should be such a joyous thing but when you are only 15 it is full of problems. I know that part of you is happy and part of you is scared to death.
I don't know enough about your situation to properly answer your question. Could you please write to me and give me more information?
Such as.....what kind of person is your boyfriend? Is he still in school? Does he have any means to take care of you and a baby? Would his family be supportive of the three of you? How much would they be willing to help?
How does your mother feel? You say that she knows but what did she say? What does she think you should do?
I do know that you can not have this baby just because your boyfriend wants you to. HE is not the one that would be having a baby and changing the rest of his life, you are. It has to be your decision, based on what is best for you.
Abortion may seem like the easy way out but it is not. It leaves scars that will last a lifetime. Sometimes it is the only answer but it is a very sad, desperate thing to have to do.
Yes, 15 is very young to be having a baby but if that is the choice you make know that with good medical care it can be accomplished.
Do not close your mind to the idea of adoption, it takes a great deal of courage and strength but it is a beautiful thing to do. It is a hard thing to do but then so is being a mother.
Let your mother break the news to your father, or the two of you talk to him together. This is something that your mother should help you do. Your mom can be a great source of strength and wisdom for you right now if she will be. I am sure she loves you very much and only wants what is best for you.
Why does your boyfriend want you to have the baby? Would the two of you be getting married? Do you think you are ready to be a wife and a mother? You need to think about these things.
Like I said sweetie, there is so much I would like to ask you and so, so many things I would like to talk to you about.
Please write to me, there is much more I can share you.
Take care hon.
Love and Blessings.
Lady T
2006-10-14 08:17:20 · answer #2 · answered by Lady Trinity 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't pay attention to the rude remarks on this subject it will only hurt you. The one thing I can think of that will make things right for everyone is putting the baby up for adoption. You will be giving your child a better life than you could ever give him. Your not even old enough to work yet. How will you be living? DO NOT count on your 17 year old boyfriend for anything. He says he wants a baby, but when the going gets tough, your on your own. Trust me I've been there. Giving the baby up for adoption is guaranteeing that your child will live in a home where two people are committed and ready for a child. Both mentally and financially. You are not in either one of those situations. Give it some thought and contact me if you want. I have lots of info on baby adoption through a church that will guide you through every step and help you choose the family that YOU feel is right to raise your child. In the mean time eat healthy and take care of yourself and child.
2006-10-14 08:13:39 · answer #3 · answered by gumby and pokey 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do whats going to make YOU happy be aware that the odds are against you and your boyfriends most likely wont be around and you will do this on your own even though he might say he will be there but hes 17 and still young and your 15 and very young as well ppl grow up and mature and you might not like the person he becomes and vice versa. I'm talking from experience. I was 16 when I became pregnant with my 1st child and 19 with my 2nd. Its not easy. If your parents and his parents arent going to help you out it will be very hard to even finish H.S. I'm a prime example that it can be done but its VERY HARD. I now have my BA in Applied Science and am a Registered Nurse! My children are 5 and 3 and I'm telling you its very hard think about YOU not your parents and not your boyfriend think about YOU BC its easy for a man to get up and leave and not have to worry about the responsibility. My 1st child's father did he left for 5 years and didn't look back until now that his child is asking for him.
2006-10-14 08:03:47 · answer #4 · answered by Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Mom2two Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people can be so cruel. You can't judge each situation the same way. If you want this baby and you and your boyfriend are going to be responsible then go for it. My cousin had a baby at 15 she is the most responsible mother I've ever seen. She keeps a great job and her boyfriend does too. They love their baby a whole lot and take great care of him. If you have support and you really really think about it and this is what you want to do then do it. Don't make decisions for other people do it for yourself, Make sure you and your boyfriend talk about this a lot. Not just once. Over and over weigh every ounce of pros and cons. Make sure it is what you want to do. Telling your dad at any age that you are pg is hard I'm on my third kid and I was still afraid to tell my dad and I'm married lol. But you're gonna have to do it and the fall out will be much easier than you think. you're his little girl his feelings are going to be to protect you so just know that how ever he reacts it's because he loves you and wants to keep you tiny forever.
My aunt had a baby at 18 and wanted to give it up for adoption and her parents talked her into keeping him. She was so angry for years and had the worst post pardom depressiong, and didn't want to go near the baby. You have got to make the decision for you. I had my daughter at 18 and yes it is hard, even with support. Struggling to make ends meet, but I did it alone, the guy took off. A boyfriend of 3 yrs we were engaged and he took off when I was 5 months pregnant. So keep that in mind too, your b/f may be supportive now but who knows what he will do in a few months or a year or so when he finally has it all sink in. we are women we are stuck with the responsiblity no matter what. But guys know they can bail any time and a lot of them do.
You also never want to get married just because of a baby. My other aunt had a baby at 14 and her parents made her get married. She ended up with 4 kid by the time she was 21 and she was depressed for years until her kids got older and she finally found a good man. Not all of them turn out bad as I mention my cousin before she's doing great. But that is why I said you have to judge each situation as it comes.
Keep in mind as well that you can skip your period easy at any age. Stress and hormones can do a million different things. Make sure you are pregnant for sure before you talk to you dad. No need to get him worked up for no reason. Then make sure you go to some teenage pregnancy couselors. They will tell you everthing there is to know about being a parent, at a young age, and possible a single one if the dad doesn't stick around. Help you weigh all your choices and options. Make sure you do this right don't make a decision based on your first gut feeling. Goodluck!
2006-10-14 08:03:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk with your mom about sharing this information with your dad. Be realistic about how you and your bf can possibly parent this child and provide for it.
What about your education, where will you live, will you get married? If you were not pregnant would you be leaving home? If you were not 15 would you be getting married.
If you feel comfortable having another abortion, then that may be a path to take or adoption. However, no matter what, this is your decision to make.
Please don't let others influence you, follow your heart and seek neutral counseling.
You need to find an easy birth control method that does not require too much effort. The patch, ortho-evra, iud, talk to your doctor.
Good Luck.
2006-10-14 08:16:09 · answer #6 · answered by anirbas 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
girl, why are u having sex if u dont want a baby?? why r u not on some sort of birth control?? u really need to take a good look at what u r doing. I think u should not havr this baby. U are far too young to be responsible for it and ultmately the baby will suffer because of this. There are too many children being dragged up as it is without another. Consider your options carefully and afterwards USE PROTECTION!
2006-10-14 07:59:00 · answer #7 · answered by Serry's mum 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First find out if you're pregnant, if not get some birth control. If you are then sit down with your mom and dad. Personally I'd have mom talk to him first. That will give him time to calm down. Men (yes I'm one) want to fix everything, so we tend to freak when we can't. And of course our little girls never have sex, so it'll be a shock to him. After you talk to them about it, have them talk to the bf parents. The boyfriend might not hang around, and be prepared bf parent's might demand a blood test, after all he's on the hook for child support at least 18 years. If you keep the baby.
As far as an abortion or not, adoption or not, it's not my place or anybody elses place to say if you should or shouldn't. That's between you and your parents.
Good luck
2006-10-14 08:47:03 · answer #8 · answered by Richard 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend obviously has no clue what having a baby means - at least what it will mean to you. You sound much more mature about it than he does.
Honey, you are so young, and this is one tough decision for you, and one that will affect your whole future, and impact the lives of everyone around you. You should not make that decision based on what your boyfriend thinks he wants. No-one can tell you what is right for you - only you can decide that.
Can you sit down and talk to your Mom about it? Ask her to help you with telling your Dad? Can you get some professional counselling to weigh your options & help you make a decision?
Visit Lifecall for help & resources
http://www.lifecall.org/shelters_cpc.html
or
http://www.thehelpline.org/
or
http://www.teenpregnancy.com/
or
http://www.teenhelp.org/
Whatever you decide honey, I wish you all the best. Stay strong. Take care of YOU.
2006-10-14 08:11:21 · answer #9 · answered by belmyst 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do what you want but I will tell you from experience (I was 14 when I got pregnant and 15 when I had my daughter) It's hard and if I could take it back and wait I would. If you want to be a good parent you have to give up a lot. You can't go out anytime you feel like it. Children take up a lot of time and patience. Not to mention money. It's very hard even with people to help. I would recommend waiting until you finish school and have your life together. If he can't understand that get rid of him there will be other guys and better ones.
2006-10-14 08:01:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋