A really good friend of mine asked me to be his girlfriend. This problem seems so juvenille but I need help. He's been pretty much my best friend since elementary school and I love him sooo so much but I can't be his girlfriend. It would be like...goin out wit mi teddy bear or something. I just want things to stay the way they are between us. He says we're perfect for each other but I don't think I should have to be his girlfriend just because I'd feel guilty if i said no. what do i do??
2006-10-14 07:26:51 · 27 answers · asked by Bethany 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
No, in fact if you value him as a friend, which it seems like you do, then your doing the right thing. Quite often, friendships are never the same if you break up. In fact, many times they disenegrate. Just sit down and tell him the truth, he will accept it. If he doesn't, just remember, you cant control that. Good luck dear.
2006-10-14 07:32:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is it possible that he is having trouble finding an appropriate girlfriend and he is hoping you will take the stress off him by saying "yes," even for a while so he is no longer humiliated. If he hasn't had a girlfriend before this then I would guess that he is unsure how to arrange that or afraid he will be turned down. Why not have a frank conversation with your "best friend?" You could probably set him up and coach him on what to do and say. It is doubtful that his thoughts have turned to girlfriend (you) after all those years of hanging out, without you knowing it was coming. Help the poor boy.
2006-10-14 14:33:15 · answer #2 · answered by ALWAYS GOTTA KNOW 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you're not being horrible. Tell him how much you value him as a friend. I see no reason why you wouldn't want to go out with him though, but as a friend.
The problem may not be with you. By telling him you want to keep it strictly as friends you are being honest, & are setting clear boundaries. But he may not be able to see things that way at all. He may be so attracted to you, that he'll be willing to risk his friendship with you in order to have you as his girlfriend. It may even be possible that he has always felt this way about you.
The thing to remember is that as long as you stay true to yourself, then you can't take any responsibility for what he does or how he feels. That is entirely up to him, & you have absolutely no control over that.
2006-10-14 14:38:11 · answer #3 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it not. Be honest with him. He might be disappointed, but at least he’ll know where he stands. But now you know he wants to be your boyfriend don’t be surprised if your relationship with him is a little strained for a little while. Guys (yes I’m one) can get really stupid when it comes to girls. When we’re in love (sigh) we see ‘I don’t want to be your girlfriend just your friend’ as rejection even when it’s not true. So be kind, unless he becomes a jerk, tell him you like him as a friend maybe a best friend not as a boyfriend.
If he’s a good friend he’ll deal with it, if not it wasn’t meant to be.
On a side not some of my best friends are girls (women) and I wouldn’t want a boyfriend girlfriend relationship with them, although I did marry my best friend :)
2006-10-14 14:42:03 · answer #4 · answered by Richard 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him what you just said, is nothing wrong /without the teddy bear/. You just want be friend only. You didn't grow up to be anybody gf. Be real has nothing with guilt. You are not liar.
Friendship is base on true.
2006-10-14 14:32:37 · answer #5 · answered by Toto 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would probally just stay friends cuz what if you are going out and the relationship doesn't go to well and you break up ...that may ruin all those years of friendship you had! Good Luck<3
2006-10-14 14:32:53 · answer #6 · answered by k01hampton 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you value your friendship with him too much to risk losing it for the uncertainties of dating. If he's your friend, he'll be there forever; if he's your boyfriend, even if things were going really well, it would eventually get stale or you'd outgrow each other, and then he'd be your EX-boyfriend, and then who knows whether or not you'd be able to still be friends after that?
2006-10-14 14:30:35 · answer #7 · answered by Sarah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should try it. You will never know. But do not feel guilty if you do say no because you two will still remain friends. He may have a broken heart but he will soon get over it.
2006-10-14 14:29:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go with your gut. This happened to me in high school, my best friend, guy, always wanted to date and I just saw him as my buddy, not my boyfriend. Things change though and maybe down the road you will realize he was the one for you and it could be too late. Tell him about your reservations and go from there. Good luck!
2006-10-14 15:26:11 · answer #9 · answered by Rhode Island Red 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it's not horrible to say no. Its how you feel, and there's nothing wrong with that. It may however put a strain on your friendship for a while. It's hard to be rejected. Just remember to to be honest with him.
2006-10-14 14:30:19 · answer #10 · answered by Equichick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋