The nanny is only working mornings, and he is a great guy. I feel totally comfortable with him being around my 7 year old and 15 month old, but my extended family is severely homophobic. How should I handle this?
2006-10-14 06:38:45 · 9 answers · asked by baabaababy77 2 in Business & Finance ➔ Careers & Employment
The nanny is only working mornings, and he is a great guy. I feel totally comfortable with him being around my 7 year old and 15 month old, but my extended family is severely homophobic. How should I handle this?
BTW - Yes, I ran a background check on him, plus he's been a friend of mine for a while.
2006-10-14 07:08:33 · update #1
He should have been hired based on qualifications not his adult sex preferences. This should not have been an issue or part of the interview even. Note: pedophiles are NOT a gay issue, many straights are pedophiles (a serious and dangerous disorder) but a police screening should have shown if there were previous issues there.
If your family is homophobic they need professional counseling.
2006-10-14 06:51:11 · answer #1 · answered by kate 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off you should ask them what is it that bothers them about it and get a complete understanding of why they are so bothered. Just to try to keep piece if that is what you are wanting. "Just because he is gay", if that is their reason them inform them about it. It is not a disease it does not "rub off" etc. For some it is a lifestyle choice and for some they just are the way they are biologically. They are not pedophiles (sorry had to put that I have heard to often about people being afraid of their children being around someone gay because they may cause some "harm" to the child.) Have they met him?
Some people are never accepting of others that are different than them and there may never be a complete resolution to their discomfort.
All in all you are the one who has to be the one to make choices about your children and the one who loves them most. So if you are just wanting to keep the piece just try to understand them and explain and make them understand you as well.. Communication. And if that doesn't work then you know that you tried and should never feel bad for any of their hangups.
Good luck!
2006-10-14 06:59:15 · answer #2 · answered by Hap s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have known thousands of gays, through business and personally. I have never heard of one gay molesting children.
If we look at history, pedophiles are, for the most part, sick heterosexuals. They are like "swishers", although they go from women to children. Most have nothing to do with adults.
They couldn't perform anyway.
Frankly, I think gays get a bad rap.
NO, I'M NOT!
I have known many respectable men who are. I can tell you that they love like a man and woman, and hurt just as much when it's lost. Very difficult to understand, but I've seen them cry like babies.
So little understanding, so few try or do. It took me years. And I'm old. Two worked for me...and died young.
2006-10-14 06:58:59 · answer #3 · answered by ed 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have your extended family ever met him? Perhaps the best way forward is to ntroduce him to an influential member of this group, or perhaps those with the least prejudice. I guess time will be the best evidence and methodology of showing that your sexuality does not define you as a person.
2006-10-14 07:58:16 · answer #4 · answered by Bumblebois 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said they were "our children", are they your children? If they are and the rest of your family aren't legal guardians, tell them that they are just being prejudice and should learn to get over it.
Give them the example, a gay man babysitting a boy is bad, but a straight man babysitting a girl would be OK.
If they dont buy it, tell them "to save it for the crossburning Hitler".
2006-10-14 06:45:32 · answer #5 · answered by D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
F your extended family. You should not discriminate on this guy because he is gay and it is actually bad that you may be thinking otherwise. He is probably really good with children.
2006-10-14 06:46:28 · answer #6 · answered by BeautyMark 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is your choice alone, and if you're comfortable with the situation, then it's their hangup, not yours..too many people try to run other peoples lives, and it dont work..it leads to too much distention...you stand firm and tell them that this is the way it's going to be....eventually they will come around...they would have no choice
2006-10-14 06:43:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
setting his sexual preference aside, have you done a background check on this man, did you get extensive references and check them out? In this day I feel very few people can be trusted with children, I mean if Priests molest children then who can you trust? I would say check him out very thoroughly, I would say check anyone very thoroughly that would be caring for your children. Sexual abuse can affect a person for a lifetime.
2006-10-14 06:56:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just kindly let them know that this is your decision and if they can't be around to take care of the babies maybe they shouldn't be so judgmental. If this guy is somebody who you know well and stand back for reputation let them know this.
2006-10-14 06:47:29 · answer #9 · answered by Lil' Gay Monster 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋