I just wanna hear opinions. Why dont we make everyone go through the "coming out process". I feel as normal as a str8 person, so why must I "come out the closet" and get "accepted" by my family and peers? Who's really a valid source to say what the norm is???? Surely not the bible.
Thanxs 4 ur answers
2006-10-14 05:48:57 · 13 answers · asked by c_jayo6 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
because people automatically assume that a person is straight until told otherwise.
2006-10-14 05:54:33 · answer #1 · answered by What'd You Say? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't we ALL want to be accepted? Isn't that just HUMAN nature? Stop putting yourself in a different category, just be part of the family. By this I mean, families are comprised of different people, but I don't say that I am a piano player trying to be accepted by my guitar playing family. That's silly. Families are about love, and I bet you they will receive your news with surprise (after all- you HAVE been keeping a secret) and then with love. Coming out of the closet (as its put) just means that you are comfortable with revealing your true self, the problem is that you felt like you had to hide it in the first place. Your friends and family already accept you. And a valid source for the norm? Well, yourself. Only you know what is normal for you. (normally I jog for 45 min. in the morning... is that normal for you? maybe not... I bet you see the point now) Just be yourself and be happy.
2006-10-14 12:53:07 · answer #2 · answered by dancinggirlsara 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually, the flipside of "acceptance" is what? Unaccepted. When someone asks about your "wife" or "children" are you comfortable saying that your spouse is another male and you don't have children? Do you enjoy the stares and open disdain that some people seem to put out when you acknowledge that you are homosexual? The "acceptance" you talk about isn't asking for people to pat you on the back and invite you to a barbecue, what you are actually asking for is to make something that is a negative issue to many into a complete non-issue.
2006-10-14 13:02:26 · answer #3 · answered by IndyT- For Da Ben Dan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure exactly what your asking, but why do we feel the need to be accepted? I honestly don't give a rat'sass if I'm accepted or not. My family loves me, I have friends who care about me, that's all I need. What I do feel the need to have, is the same rights as the rest of America. If you think being gay is a choice, fine, but so is religion and it's protected under the constitution.
2006-10-14 15:39:34 · answer #4 · answered by Agent Double EL 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to come out to anyone. However at some point in time you are going to look at things differently, such as do you want to keep the man you love away from your family? Exactly how to you respect your relationship with him, but say, sorry you can't come to my family Thanksgiving, cause they think I'm waiting for the right girl.
Years ago a man I lived in the same neighborhood with since we were 4 was killed in a plane crash. He was almost 40 and at his funeral his mother actually told me how disappointed she was that he never found the right girl, and at the previous holidays he had told her how picky he was but he was hopeful he would in the future. His sig. other of 20years was sitting in the back of the visitations room crying his eyes out, but yet his mother and sisters had reduced him to "his roomate" because that's how my friend referred to him to his family. I had known he was different than other boys from the time I was in elementry school, and when I could identify him as a homosexual, it all made sense to me. Everyone who knew him, knew he was gay even though he never came out to anyone.
So this guy lived a lie and died a lie. His mother and sisters still grieved but they grieved a lie. His partner, who shared his life for 20 years was told to move out of "his" home in 30days.
We don't need to be accepted, we demand the same basic human consideration and respect that everyone else has. That's what the civil rights movement of the 50's and 60's was about, the right to live one's life with exactly the same opportunity and protections as everyone else. I guess we are still working on that one too, so it may be a while for us as well.
2006-10-14 13:21:07 · answer #5 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not a Homosexual vs Straight issue. Thankfully I have gotten to see how people in other countries, nations and societies live.
It's an American thing! Seriously. Other countries it is either in the closet or living at normal. I notice it's Americans that are the loudest and most obnoxious about it. In places were it is totally accepted, it is a non-issue. It is not that Americans are more or less bigotted. It that we are totally annoying.
"We're here, we're queer, get use to it!". I Know you are here. I know you are Gay, and I am bored by it.
2006-10-14 13:00:53 · answer #6 · answered by Gardenfoot 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have no feelings of needing to be accepted as a Gay man what so ever. It is not important to me to be identified as Gay, Straight, what so ever. What I do in the bedroom is NOT a subject that I discuss in company of mixed or straight people. I felt no need to inform my parents or friends...the only people that I care to have included are those that I have set my eyes on..there is no need to waste energy on the chase if the chase cannot end as I would like it to. Being Gay is NOT a defining characteristic. Who you are, what you do in life, and what you do with your talents is what it is all about. IF I were defined as a Gay man first, I think somehow I would have failed at what I do. Good luck
2006-10-14 18:08:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know... well, the coming out process, in my case, wasn't based on the fact to be accepted, but to stop hiding it. It's like every body I knew supposed I was str8, and accordingly asked me why I didn't have a girlfriend when my friends did. It's quite embarrassing sometimes with friends remarks such as "this girl is hot, look at her ***! what do you think of her ***!".
when I came out to them, they stopped asking such question to me, and I didn't have to make up an explanation on why I didn't have a girlfriend, and why I was hanging out most of the time with just one guy... I don't really care about their acceptance of me being gay. It's just for my self well-being.
2006-10-14 13:07:01 · answer #8 · answered by Gilno E 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I only told my mother a few weeks ago, I'm am now twenty six
i have lived in fear of my mother since i remember i spend so many years worried that if i came out, she would out me from her life.
finding out she cares more about me then what i am was very important to me
i would not have known that if i did not tell her and so for me coming out is something i had to do
but i do see your point why should we have to come out homosexuality should be excepted enough to be an open from of discussion at school home and work play and in public
2006-10-14 13:55:38 · answer #9 · answered by Zara3 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I told my co-workers because behind my back I would hear the gossip about "He doesnt have a girlfriend", He's 29 and not married?"....ECT. I f*CKING hated the guys when they were bending over to get whatever, they would quickly pop back up, just staring at me, wondering if I got a glimpse of their flat pathetic butt. I told them because I was who I am and not intrested in them sexually well my exact words was "I think you guys are F*cking ugly, got the face only a mother could love" They laughed, and now they are very comfortable around me. And most important they respect me.
2006-10-14 13:03:29 · answer #10 · answered by zuegma1977 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
EVERYONE needs friends. Everyone works better in a non-hostile environment (even if it's not particularly friendly; neutral is still better). We feel a need to be accepted (by SOME people at least) because we're human.
2006-10-15 00:42:37 · answer #11 · answered by Atropis 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋