Why is it hard to find true friends?

Question

I thought I finally found true friends but I was wrong
it last for awhile now little by little people a drifting apart
They start pointing fingers at you though you respect and accept them and the painful part they can't accept your personality while you accept them as they are. That's why I like being alone. I don't like confrontations accusing me of things I am not. why people like to control other people why can't they just let someone else be.

not likeable?
that's not what other people say
sometimes even though I don't know people from the other department they like me and gives me a sweet smile
It really takes time before you can get to know people

Answer 1

~~~It sounds like your talking about people you work with,,,,everything starts out great,,,"lets be friends", because its new and refreshing,,,,but think about it,,,if you work in a specific department,,,sooner or later no matter how "good" of friends you all are,,,,there starts to be competition,,who is the better worker,,;who does the boss favor most,,,who will backstab the next person to get that promotion,,,soon resentment sets in,,,and the "great" friendship starts to dwindle away because of the "competition" so to speek, its normal human nature,,,the competive part of us. You get along great with co-workers from the other departments because you are not a threat to them,,,,,so they feel comfortable to be friends with you,,,,and Im sure in their department they have the same thing going on,,,,start out as friends,,,,,then the friendships slip away for the same reasons in your department. What I would do is still stay on friendly terms,,,be respectfull with your co-workers in your department,,,but hang out and enjoy the company of the co-workers in the other department,,,It will make your work day alot more enjoyable,,,,,,,

Answer 2

A true friendship becomes stronger between two people, that have a lot of personality. You can only find true personality attractive and likeable. When you accept all your friends unconditionally, you are giving away all your power to them. I don't mean this in a competitive sense - everyone needs to show their preferences and say no to things they don't like. If you have a clearly defined set of values and preferences and you respect yourself, your time and your energy, then you develop a lot of personality and people will love you and want to be around you all the time.
If you don't do these things you come across as blank, boring and needy. It's like talking to a wall. If you let your personality express its self and you are comfortable with saying no, you will be so interesting and powerful.

Answer 3

When I was in school there was this one time where a guy from outside of the school came and started making threats that he was going to fight me, all because his friends didn't like me or my friends, we had African Americans, Natives, East Indians, cowboys, punks, preps, goths, headbangers, jocks, and if any other kind of group wanted to hang out at our doors, they were welcome. The super preps, that only associate with their kind, didn't like any of us. (Sorry for the length, just trying to paint the picture for you...).
About 5 years down the road, I start working with the guy that had threatened me. I knew the way he was, I knew that he would talk behind every ones back. That didn't stop me from getting to know him. I actually found out why he was the way he was. I may not have agreed on some of the thing he did/said, but at least I knew what made him tic. He mellowed out because of me, so we both walked away with a better understanding. The point is that sometimes it takes someone to show another person the right way to act. Keep in mind you can't force this on them... All I did was be his friend. I never once told him he should change his ways... I just lead by example.
CyberNara

Answer 4

Evolutionary pressures probably made us too competitive to be good friends for long. The sad truth is that dogs make better friends than people do. I mean how many people are able to accept another person totally and love that person unconditionally for life? Now how many dogs can do this? Well I think the final score is:

Dogs - - - - Almost all (an unimaginably large number)
Humans - Almost none (well, maybe Mahatma Gandhi and Mother Teresa)

Sooooooo.........maybe you should get yourself a dog.

Answer 5

I can empathize with you and I think the problem is that most people are essentially self serving and willing to have a friend as long at it is convenient and beneficial to them. If however you begin to stray from their agenda then. . . well, you know what happens. At least it shows you that these folks were not true friends to begin with. Acquaintances are a dime a dozen but I can count my friends on one hand. It takes a while to find them.

Answer 6

I like that you are honest and open with your feelings on this subject because I feel the same way. I always confront the subject and my husband is always trying to brush it under the rug or tell me that something is wrong with me.
People are unrighteously selfish; when it comes to friendship, they want to stick with the people who know them best because they'd think you're an outsider and wouldn't understand or be a part of their conversation because of the fact you don't know them the way their friends do.
The reason I say unrightously selfish is because they want people around them who knows their darkest secrets and won't let them out the bag. It seems to me that the people you talk to are involved in things that revolve around them: their family, friends, girl/boyfriends, their favorite shows, bands, etc. People like to feel like the world revolves around them because if you're not part of what they want, you don't exist. Why would you want to be part of people like that anyway?
Remember be yourself and believe in yourself! Good Luck!
I'll be your friend, click on my picture & leave me a message.

Answer 7

May be time to redefine true friendship within ourselves.
Which would give better joy... to have a mutual benefit scheme, or to offer trust unconditionally, without any expectation, whatever happens, material advantage of no consequence at all !

Answer 8

Because they are rare. The reason for their scarcity is very simple - the definition for Good friend itself keeps changing always. A friend whom you find to be a good friend today may not appear to be so good tomorrow. Just U compare this and confirm yourself with your past experiences - you will understand the reason.

Answer 9

Because people are generally phony and have Alterior motives or agendas that they wont reveal because if you knew up front you wont want tobe their friend anyway so they fake it to get their ends met. Jealousy, envy, coveting

Answer 10

when you realize why you can't find them... then you'll stop looking for them.


you don't look for them... ok, this is a natural process you can't force. because so many try to look for something they fail then they give up and believe the world is a harsh, uncaring place.

when you stop looking for it.. then you'll find what it is you were looking for in the first place.