why is my husband so angry?

Question

My husband used to be a really nice man. Now he gets really angry about anything and everything. I know he is depressed, but he won't take his tablets. He always says that there is nothing wrong, but to act the way he does, there definetely is. Living with him is awful, but I don't know what I can do to make things better for both of us. If I didn't have my little girl, I would just kill myself as that would be an easy answer, but I feel I don't have any other options available as it is too difficult to leave him. I don't get any pleasure out of my life except internet poker and doing things with my little girl (how sad is that?). I haven't had sex for months and my husband won't go out and do things like a normal family. I am depressed too (I take prozac) so I know how he feels (to a point), but I really can't go on like this. Please tell me what I can do.

Answer 1

Maybe you and your daughter should pack up a few things and just leave for a few days. Leave him a note explaining your true feelings with no phone number to reach you or address to find you. Do not talk to him while you are gone at all. If he realizes what he would be missing if ya'll were gone, then it might be just enough to snap him out of his funk. Sometimes men need a reality check and you may just have to wake him up by showing him that you are SERIOUS.

This worked for me about 7 years ago. I left my husband cold turkey and let him wonder where I was and what I was doing. After 1 week I called to check on him and he begged and pleaded for me to come home. See, like you, I always complained about how I felt, but never did anything. When I finally made a move, it woke him up and we have been fantastic ever since. We now have 2 kids and have been married for 12 years.

Hope this helps! Good Luck!

Answer 2

Now, think of this: Your little girl, who gives you fulfillment, joy and love. Wouldn't you want to bring her up in a loving atmosphere? You aren't happy with your husband, it's obvious. Do what I did....take the plunge and leave him. I know you have your reasons for not leaving, but what is more important??? And also, taking your own life is a cop-out, leaving your daughter in the dark the rest of her life. You don't want that for her, now do you? If you are afraid of leaving because of his anger, there are "safe houses" you can go to where no one knows where you are, and they set you up to start your life over with your child. Do the right thing, and make a good life for you and your daughter. Your husband sounds like he does not want to help himself by taking his medication, so you won't be able to change things either. It could get worse down the road if his condition progresses, and someone could get hurt. Think long and hard about all of your options, there are many you can choose from that will get you out of your current situation. Good luck, and I hope you make the right choices!

Answer 3

He needs medication, and probably more than just one. If he won't take his meds, leave! You have to think of yourself and your child. Go to counseling with him, tell him if he doesn't take his meds, you need to get out. Have an escape plan (can you stay with family or friends for a while, or take a job house-sitting, etc?).

Believe it or not, Cher talked about being depressed when she was with Sonny, her first husband and partner, to the point she thought she would kill herself. Then, suddenly, she realized she didn't have to die, she could get a divorce! It was like a light went off in her head and she hadn't even realized that option before. I bet lots of women think like that because they're not seeing all the options.

Do what you have to do, and make your break before your life breaks you. You owe yourself a chance to be happy, and you're not preserving a good family by staying.

Answer 4

You will need to sit him down when he is in a good mood and point blank ask him what you can do to improve the relationship. It must always be done in a way that implies YOU will change. That way you avoid attacking him. Be very gentle and listen.

The sad part is that whenever I have tried this, I generally find that men refuse to discuss it. But at least give it a try. Try hard to get him to talk.

The sad thing is if he refuses, and one day you walk out on him, he will be totally shocked and have no idea why you left! It must be in the male DNA.

Good luck.

Answer 5

so why is it so difficult to leave him? there must be a friend or family member that you can go and stay with? i think you should leave him and once you are out of the house with your little girl explain to him that you love him, but that you can no longer live with a man that refuses to do the things that he needs to do to have a better life for himself and his family, and that you did not want to do things this way but he left you no choice. also tell him that you will come back to him {if that's what you want to do } when he takes his medication like he should. and please make sure you don't go back to him just because he says he will take them, you need to see proof positive that he is doing things like he should. as far as you killing yourself! that's an offel thing to say, and that the only reason you don't do it is because of your little girl. this is another reason you need to take a step back away from your man, he is bringing you down right with him. your life is worth something,and you need to find out what that is and make the changes that need to be made, you can be happy, but its up to you. not your mans.

Answer 6

killing your self is NOT the answer since you have a little girl ! have you tried a self help group ? Did you tell your husband how he makes you feel? Did you talked to his doctor about the severance of this ? You can go with your little girl to the zoo ,into the park , find playgroups , find other neighbor ladies you can hang out with .etc ..

You have the power to make things better for you and your girl !!!!

Answer 7

live a miserable existence or do something about it, you can try and sit down with him and talk about it but if he doesn't want to do anything about it then you still have your choices and options, you can stay with him and be miserable or you can leave, as it seems from you he doesn't want to do anything about it, do you really want to raise your daughter in this kind of environment? I am sorry for the way things are, I really am, but you do have the power to make things better

Answer 8

If he is not willing to take his meds and try to make it better for you and your daughter then maybe you should consider a divorce. A divorce would probably solve your depression problem as well. This is NO way to raise your daughter. Think about her well being first.

Answer 9

Get him to see a priest or a therapist somehow. There is something desparately wrong and being a man he is confused to think that he doesn't need help. Everyone needs help some time.

Answer 10

Do you work? If not, I seriously suggest getting a job so that you can get out. You have to think of your little girl. If you're that miserable, imagine how she feels? You can't help someone who won't help themselves. He has to want it. Leaving him may be his wake up call. What he is doing is abuse. He doesn't have to hit you to abuse you. Please get out and be safe.