he cheated and now lives with the girl he cheated with he is 42 she is 21.......kids go over to stay there once a week...he asks like i dont even exsist like we didnt have a life........we were married 24 yrs......and happy so i thought...how do i mend my heart?
2006-10-14 03:31:40 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
first of all im so sorry....but honey...its time to get up....take a shower ...put on something sexy....take kids to their dads and have a life.....there is no way that relationship will work out...he thinks that he is "the man" because he has a 21 yr old....it will never work out....the best thing you can do is sit back....wait....and laugh when he gets dumped...and he will i promise you that.....i just pray that you will not take him back...you deserve better.,,,,,now get out there call a friend and you all go out ...enjoy yourself....you will soon see that you are still happy even tho you arent with him....good luck and get out there woman...dont sit on the couch waiting for the phone to ring!
2006-10-14 03:37:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only time will mend your heart. Take some satisfaction in knowing that his wife will most likely be cheating on him soon. I mean, really, if YOU were 21 would you want to hang around an "old" man while your friends were dating hot 23 or 24 year old guys? His relationship won't last and he's gonna come running back to you.
Keep yourself busy; take a class at the local college, sign up for a swim class, become an activist in the community with Relay for Life or Breast Cancer awareness; Your kids need you to stay mentally healthy. Don't bash him, just pity him! Keep busy and don't let this sour your opinion of men. There are lots of good men out there!
2006-10-14 03:47:13 · answer #2 · answered by Lesleann 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You move on. You do things that bring you joy. You let your kids go there if they want to, and have no objections to it. YOu keep in mind that no matter what, YOU are mom and can NEVER be replaced......after all.......it's GOOD if they like it there, it means you can start seeing about YOU.
YOu take a cruise somewhere, and enjoy life!!!! You will ALWAYS be a parent, and therefore will ALWAYS be needed.....but right now, you see about YOU. And you do this every chance you get. You also FILE FOR DIVORCE. Dump the loser. The best revenge is SUCCESS and HAPPINESS.
He will be MISERABLE with her because she is too young. She is still a 'teenager'. She still has alot of growing to go through, and WILL in the next few years. His money and financial stability may be great to her now........but I'm pretty sure her parents, girlfriends, etc are telling her to dump the geezer. And once she hits a club......and that hot young guy her own age sweeps her off her feet..........
the jerk will be thinking of you. But by that time, you have gone on cruises, have started enjoying life, and will have met some 'friends' and won't have time or interest in him anymore.
Drop the dead weight, give him a divorce, and move on and be happy.
Infidelity is ALWAYS a deal breaker.
2006-10-14 05:22:35 · answer #3 · answered by lilac b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mend your life, and your heart will take care of it's own mending. File for divorce. Begin the child support process. Change the locks on your home. Your life goes on, even though you are ending this relationship. So, start living again. Make new friends, and develop new intrests. I know it hurts, but it will hurt no matter what you do or don't do, so moving on with your life just means that the pain will ease more quickly.
2006-10-14 03:59:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
But where will he go when the new wears off... you are caught up in an age old drama and there are no certain answer... I would be willing to bet my paycheck that if you go to the Beauty Parlor and get a new Hairdo... put on just a little makeup... act indifferent.. wear some nice jeans and some new heels... that
the phone will ring with some excuse about the kids or something
but do not melt at his first sign of attention... just drive him crazy..
cause sooner or later he is gonna have to talk to Bimbette and find that there is not much common ground when he's not in bed
2006-10-14 03:43:20 · answer #5 · answered by RiverRat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to not dwell on the past because you were not the one in the wrong he was. You were the better person. All you have to do is live your life for you and your children. Go ahead and get divorce papers and get them going thru the process. That will be the first step for you to start getting your life back.
Do something nice for yourself such as a makeover or join a health club so that you can feel good and look good.
After you start to feel like you want to start back dating take the time to get to know what it is you are getting yourself into.
It's sad when we get married and our spouse cheats that's the worst type of betrayal and then they leave you to be with the other person. You did nothing wrong wrong it was him.
I wish you luck in your life but don't dwell on what you had just think about how good your future is going to be.
Waiting on him is the wrong thing to do. Why should you have to put your life on hold because he wants to go out and get a taste of something else?
What if you wait and it happens again?
No way.
You get a divorce and move on with your life. He made his decision now you make yours.
2006-10-14 03:44:44 · answer #6 · answered by miss_lady6980 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont waste your life with letting him rent space in your head. Your young have fun. You have freedom if your husband is taking the kids once a week. Spend that time doing whatever you like. Stay as busy as you can so you can get over him. He is not worth it!!! He moved on and you two were married. Usually once a cheater always a cheater. Having such an age issue it will probably not last.
2006-10-14 05:51:44 · answer #7 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you truly love him and want no divorce, than wait on him.
If your marraige is over in your eyes, and past repair than get help through a therapist and move on. 24 years is a long time and it won't be easy moving on.
When the time is right, you will be ready date again. No one can tell you when, only YOU will know. Don't date before you are ready as it will be very confusing.
Keep your self confidence and self worth at high levels at all times. . Stay positive and work on making yourself the best you can be both "inside & outside". Good Luck !
2006-10-14 03:40:31 · answer #8 · answered by KuteKaboose 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its done ! It's over and it hurts like crazy. Think back at the good years you both shared and therefore cherish the good memories.
IHe will not return .If he does after 5 years too bad if you're not around. So wipe your tears away, open the window and let some sunshine into your life. Be brave for the kids and be there for them.
Good luck.
2006-10-14 03:49:48 · answer #9 · answered by Tigeripoh4301 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First I'll like to say that I am sorry for the sad period you are going through at this time. It must be terrible to loose your husband after 24 years of marriage. It is very good of you to allow the children to continue to be a part of his life. Sometimes life throws unexpected situations at us, now you should divorce him and try to move on with your life.
2006-10-14 03:50:24 · answer #10 · answered by battimamzelle_s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋