custody issues?

Question

anyone know about custody cases or went thru one?
OK I HAVE BEEN CUSTODIAL PARENT FOR 10 1/2 YRS HE HAD PARTIAL HE ONLY WANTED TO BE WITH HIS KIDS ON HIS WEEKEND VISITS NEVER WANTED THEM MORE...HE WAS ONLY PAYING ME 50 AWEEK FOR FOUR BOYS FOR 10 YRS ,THE REASON WHY I ONLY RECIEVED 50 AWEEK WAS CAUSE HE TOLD ME HE WOULD GIVE UP HIS RIGHTS TO OUR BOYS I DIDNT WANT TO BE THE BLAME FOR THE KIDS NOT TO HAVE THERE FATHER SO I AGREED TO WHAT HE WANTED TO PAY .SO I WENT TO THE COURT HOUSE AND SUED FOR CUSTODY I GOT CUSTODIAL AND HE GOT PARTIAL HE AGREED TO EVERYTHING.IT WAS EVERY WEDNESDAY AND EVERYOTHER WEEKEND .WELL HE STUCK WITH IT FOR ABOUT A MONTH TOLD ME HE WAS DROPPING WEDNESDAYS CAUSE IT WAS TO MUCH.I GUESS IT WAS INTERFERING WITH HIS SINGLE LIFE I DIDNT CARE I HAD MORE TIME WITH MY SONS...I DID EVERYTHING DOC APPTS DENTIST ,ER RUNS WHEN THE BOYS GOT HURT I WOULD CALL HIM AND TELL HIM I WAS AT THE ER HE SAID WELL JUST CALL ME I AM SORRY BUT IF IT WAS ON THE OTHER END MY BUTT WOULD BE THERE .(RUNNING OUT OF ROOM WILL BE WRITING MORE)

Additional Details

17 hours ago
LIKE I DID EVERYTHING AND STILL DO I TOOK CARE OF ALL OUR SONS NEEDS CLOTHES ,FOOD,SHELTER,DOCS,TOOK CARE OF THEM WHEN THEY WERE SICK WENT WITH MY ONE SON TO ALL HIS SURGERIES ETC....HIS FATHER DIDNT GO CAUSE HE SAID HE COULDNT GET OFF WORK TO BE THERE BUT THEN THE WEEK AFTER HIS FATHER WENT WITH HIS GF AND HER SON TO GET HIS FOOT CHECK BUT COULDNT BE THERE FOR HIS SONS SURGERY ON HIS KNEE AND IT WAS BAD.THIS IS THE FATHER AND GF THAT ACCUSED MY SON OF FAKING HIS INJURY WHOM HAD TO HAVE MAJOR SURGERY,ALSO THERE FATHER GRAB OUR SON BY THE THROAT AND YES I REPORTED TO THE DOCTORS AND SO ON HOPING THEY WOULD REPORT IT CAUSE I AM AFRAID OF MY EX HE WAS ABUSIVE TO ME WHILE WE WERE MARRIED I STILL FEARED HIM SO I WENT TO THE DOCS KNOWING THEY HAD TO REPORT IT .I DIDNT NEGLECT MY SON I HAD HIM CHECKED OUT AND TOLD THE DOC.JUST SO EVERYONE DOESNT THINK I AM A ROTTEN MOM I WANTED TO HURT HIM FOR HURTING MY SON .WELL MY TWO YOUNGER SONS STOPPED SEEING THERE FATHER SO HE STOPPED PAYING HIS CONTIN

17 hours ago
SO WHEN HE STOPPED PAYING HIS BIG 50 AWEEK WHICH DID NOT RAISE FOUR SONS I WENT TO THE COURT HOUSE AND SUED HIM FOR THE SUPPORT MY SONS NEEDED AND DESERVED WELL HE TURNED AROUND AND IS NOW TRYING TO SUE ME FOR CUSTODY WE WENT TO A COURT MEDIATOR WHO ORDER A HOME EVALUATION ...WE BOTH HAVE TO PAY 1050 WELL I PAID MY HALF ,HE DIDNT WE ARE GOING INFRONT OF A JUDGE THIS FRIDAY CAUSE HE IS BEING HELD IN CONTEMPT OF COURT,,,,THIS IS A MAN WHOM IS STILL MARRIED TO HIS SECOND WIFE WHOM HE LEFT ONE NITE WENT TO A BAR AND NEVER WENT HOME LEFT HER WITH THERE 2 YR OLD SON AND SHE WAS 5 MONTHS PREGNANT...NOW HE IS SHACKED UP WITH HIS GF AND HER 2 KIDS IN A 2 BEDROOM HOME SHE HAS A 5 YR OLD GIRL WHOM SLEEPS IN THE BEDROOM WITH HIM AND HIS GF AND THE GF'S SON HAS HIS OWN ROOM HE IS 10 AND MY BOYS ARE ON THE LIVING ROOM FLOOR ...THEN WHEN HE GETS HIS SECOND SET OF CHILDREN FROM HIS WIFE THEY SLEEP IN THE BEDROOM WITH MY EX AND HIS GF ALSO THEY ARE 3YR OLD AND 1.

17 hours ago
MY 18 YR OLD TOLD HIM THE WAY HE FELT NOW THEY DONT SPEAK MY 18 YR OLD TOLD HIM HE REMEMBERS EVERYTHING FROM WHAT HE DID TO ME AND MY 18 YR OLD TOLD HIM HE REMEMBERS WHEN HE GRABBED HIM BY THE THROAT CAUSE HE WANTED TO QUIT BASEBALL,AND HE TOLD HIM HE REM WHEN HE GRABBED ME AND ALMOST CHOKED ME TO DEATH INFRONT OF HIM HE SAID DAD IF I WOULDNT HAVE SCREAMED YOU WOULD HAVE KILLED HER ,WELL MY EX TURNED TO HIM AND SAID YOUR MOM BEAT ME MY SON LAUGHED AND SAID DAD YOUR 6 1 300 PDS.MOM IS 5 6 160 AND I WAS THERE I REMEMBER IT ALL ...THEN HE TOLD MY EX ALL HE CARED ABOUT WAS HIS NEW GF AND HER KIDS WELL HE TOLD HIM THATS RITE THEY ARE MY LIFE NOW I HAVE NO OTHER LIFE THEN THEM .WELL THEY HAVENT SPOKEN SINCE FATHERS DAY....THEN MY 14 YR OLD TOLD HIM OFF ABOUT HOW HE FELT TELLING HIS DAD HE DOESNT THINK ITS RIGHT FOR HIM TO TRY TO TAKE THEM FROM SOMEONE WHOM HAS ALWAYS BEEN THERE FOR THEM AND THE WOMEN WHO TOOK CARE OF US ON HER OWN FOR 10 YRS WITH NO HELP FROM YOU .

17 hours ago
I WAS SCARED WHEN MY 14 YR OLD TOLD HIM OFF I SAID MAYBE YOU SHOULDNT HAVE SAID THAT THEY MIGHT USE THAT AGAINST ME MY SON SAID MOM HOW CAN THEY I SAID HOW I FELT...SO I CALLED MY ATTORNEY SHE SAID YOU CAN NOT CONTROL WHAT COMES OUT OF YOUR 14 YR OLDS MOUTH...WELL HE DIDNT PAY HIS HALF OF THE HOME EVAL SO HE IS BEING HELD IN CONTEMPT OF COURT ,,I PAID MINE THAT SHOULD GO TO SHOW I LOVE MY KIDS AND WILL DO ANYTHING FOR THEM ....I WENT TO ALL THE SCHOOL MEETINGS AND WENT TO GET ALL MY BOYS HELP THAT THEY NEEDED ,,I HAVE TWO SONS WITH ADHD SO THEY STRUGGLE SO I GO TO THE SCHOOLS GET HELP OF COURSE HIS FAVORITE SAYING IS THEY DONT NEED ANY HELP THEY ARE JUST LAZY AND THEY NEED A FOOT IN THERE ***.

WELL ON XMAS VACATION LAST YR I ASKED FOR ANY KIND OF HOMEWORK THAT WILL HELP WITH THERE GRADES YOU KNOW MAKE UP WORK IT WAS STACKED FOR ALL MY SONS SO I ASKED AHOLE IF HE COULD HELP YEA HE HELPED I GOT A CALL FROM THE SCHOOL STATING THEY WOULDNT BE GETTING CREDIT I SAID WHY NOT

17 hours ago
CAUSE THE SCHOOL SAID THERE FATHER DID IT FOR THEM THE ONLY TIME IN 10 YRS I ASKED FOR HELP THAT IS WHAT I GOT...I AM SCARED I AM A GOOD MOM I DONT DRINK I DONT SMOKE I DO NOT GO OUT PARTYING UNLIKE HIM I STAY AT HOME WITH MY SONS THAT IS MY PLACE THAT IS WHERE I BELONG..THEY ARE MY LIFE....SO DO YOU THINK HE HAS ANY CHANCE...THANKS

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1 day ago
IM SORRY BUT I NEVER DID ANYTHING WRONG HE SUED ME CAUSE I SUED HIM FOR CHILD SUPPORT ..HE ONLY PAID ME 5O AWEEK FOR 10 YRS FOR FOUR BOYS THERE OLDER AND THEY NEED MORE ..I DID IT ON MY OWN FOR 10 1/2 YRS IF HE THINKS HIS BIG 50 AWEEK RAISED HIS SONS HE NEEDS TO GET A REALITY CHECK

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3 hours ago
MY KIDS AGES ARE 16 14 13 SORRY IF I DIDNT ADD THAT,,,THANKS

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4 days ago
well we were suppose to have a contempt hearing against him for not paying his half of the eval he never showed up neither did his attorney the judge rescheduled it for him to give him a second chance which i think is bs he started this cause i sued him now he wont pay the eval and didnt show up tellin the court he never got notice of the hearing come on his lawyer got it why wasnt he there.dont you think its kinda funny there is proof at the court house that his lawyer got the letter.

4 days ago
now the new date is oct 18th 130 pm lets see if he shows up

2 days ago
im sorry if some ppl think this question is getting old i would just like different views from ppl some ppl didnt get to see my post...i am sorry for the ones that keep ready my post...i am a mom worried about her kids someone that has taken care of them since 1996 then you have someone that didnt bother them all theses years that wants to take your kids from you cause you want child support cause they need more things as they get older ...im sorry if i got on anyone nerves with my posting

Answer 1

Your question is to long for me.

Answer 2

His chances of being named the primary custodian are not good in the shared custody if all what you say is true. He may be seeking shared custody because he is planning on asking for child support from you. It sounds like you are the bread winner and he may be after part of your money. If he gets a job then he less to argue with to get child support. If you can get proof that he is physically capable of working and just faking the injury or disability your lawyer can make sure the judge knows that. Push for the full custody and the every other weekend.

Answer 3

Ok from reading all of this, I see absolutely no reason for you to worry. Since you have custody, he will have to proof by concrete evidence that you are an unfit mother by either child abuse or drug/mental abuse. The evidence will have to be in the form of police or medical reports. What I see is him screwing his ownself right into the ground. The above shows that hes a negligent father whos avoiding his responsibility to his kids. The worst I see here is to get the judge to let your kids choose who they want to live with and then you ask the judge for a remodification of child support which should greatly increase for you and the kids. You may have to sue him in small claims court to recover any money he owes you. Bring any documentation you may have to help support your claim against him and keep records of any contact between him and you and your kids. Prior medical or expenses you had, may be paid b ack via small claims too. Dont agree or sign anything from him or his atty before court date. What he is doing sounds like they are trying to intimidate you into something you dont want to and this is the only way he can win is to settle with you before court, so please just realize this and that he cant do anything without you agreeing first. You can get a protective restraining order against him if you need one. If he or his atty threaten you in anyway the courts love to hear of these, but document everything and the kids too. But please be reassured that there is nothing for you to worry about. Also,you dont really need an atty here unless you want, let him pay for the atty and court costs, because even in court you dont have to proof a thing, its allup to him and his atty and with the kids with you,you wont have a problem. If hes not careful, with his atty he may end up in bigger trouble than he wants. Good luck and if I can be of more help,please feel free to email me

Answer 4

Wow.... alot of information there that's irrelevent to the question. I don't know what state you're in, but you're obviously misinformed. He CANNOT relinquish his custodial or paternal rights just to get out of paying child support. The government will not allow it. Those are his children whether he likes it or not, and he's obligated to pay support. I don't know what you're so worried about. He's had minimal interest in them and is only doing this because of money.... any family court judge will know that. Relax... you could go into court with humpty dumpty as a lawyer and walk away a winner. Trust me, I've been there for equally stupid reasons.

OH, and I respectfully disagree with lcox65. Child support is for YOU.... not the kids. It is intended to offset YOUR expenses related to raising them. The kids don't pay rent, grocery bills, electric bills, education expenses, buy their own clothes, toys,... ect. Thats what the money is for....to help YOU support them until they're grown... and don't let anyone tell you different or make you feel guilty for not spoiling them with it... its not their money.

Answer 5

For starters, it's none of your business what his life is or what he does outside of the care and well being for your children. Sounds like you still hold a torch for this man, give it up. Now for the custody portion - Let your children speak on their own behalf. Your life versus his life for the last 10 years will all play out in court and you will be victorious. Try to stick to just the facts with the judge.

Answer 6

Sorry for what you are going through but I dont think he has a chance. Beside your sons are old enough to stand up in court and tell the judge who they want to live with and sounds like none of them would say their dad.

Answer 7

I am not nervous but i just read a book. You should settle down for one thing. You have nothing to prove to anyone. Not even the judge. If you have done everything that the court told you to do then i am confused about why you are so upset. You have spent 10 years of your life taking care of your boys and you are right as mothers we have to do that. He is a dead beat dad and i can not believe that you only got $50.00 for 3 boys. Something is way wrong with this. If you have had to stuggle it is because the courts let you suffer. Your Ex is not worth all of this. As far as having the papers to prove that he knew about all the court date stuff take it with you and introduce it in court??? Why was this not done to begin with. I tell you this if this were me i would not care if he (Ex) had anything to do with my sons. He has gvien you and the boys 10 years of nothing. You did not need his $50.00 you did it on your own. To tell you the truth you should keep him as far away from your children as possible. They do not even care that much about him. All these years that you wanted him to be part of their lives what do they and you have to show for it. NOTHING!!!! You need to forget about him and move on with raising the boys and keeping yourself happy. You do not need him you have proven you can do this on your own. Listen to me hun you have tipped your boat and now you are scared and i understand but what i can not understand is why would you want his money now. You have to be asking yourself why you did this? I know that i am. You will probably not get alot of real responses cause your question is so long but i read it and you asked for this when you sued him for child support again. I am not trying to be mean when i say this but why waste your time cause after all this time of what he has done to you and the children why would you want his money anyway. You could have done so much better moving on with your lives. Now you have children who are bitter at their dad and you are stuck there wishing for something not to happen so that you lose your boys. He does not want them. He has proven that. He did this to scare you and it has worked. Why do women need to have the man to take care of the children they do not want anything to do with? Just do it yourself and move on. Have you remarried? that is a question i would like to know. I divorced my first husband and i never asked for anything. He does not pay me child support! i had that put in the divorce papers. He sees his son 2 days a week and i have the rest of the time. My son is 10 now (we divorced when he was 5) and he is fine. He knows that i love him and he knows that his dad loves him. My daughter is 18. Her dad (i was not married too) held her when she was 3 days old and handed her back to me and walked away. We never saw him again. I did not track him down i thought it was best to do it by myself. She turned 18 in May of this year and to this day has never asked who her dad was. She is happy and did not need to know. I have been remairred for 4 1/2 years and my husband who had no children is in all accounts her dad. Him and her are the best of freinds. When she gets married and walks down the isle her DAD will be walking arm and arm with his daughter. She knows who took care of her for the pass 5 years. I did all of this the best way i knew how. I have so far never regretted any of my choices so far. My point in all of this is to let you know that sticking it to your ex was not a good choice and you were doing a great job as a single parent. When and if you get out of this leave him to his life of hell and you take great pride in what you have done with your boys and move on without him in their lives. They will understand!

Answer 8

I feel for you - going thru similar circumstances. I would have to say don't worry, I think it will all work out for you. The judicial system has to see that you are the MUCH BETTER parent!!! Good luck, you are a great mom!!

Answer 9

first of all he has no rights second get him to pay more on support.i have been on both sides on the support thing i have gotten it and paid it also the only mistake you have said was my support . it is his kids support he doesnt owe u he owes them . let me say that i believe you need more support he should want to pay ypu support for his boys good luck

Answer 10

Your boys are old enough now to speak for themselves. Allow THEM to tell their story. They are also old enough to decide which parent they wish to live with.
Sounds to me like you have nothing to worry about.

Answer 11

he has no chance also let your sons speak on your behalf. they are old enough for the courts to listen to.