I met a woman that is a few years younger than me a few weeks ago. She is super sweet, no husband, no children, lives by herself and is also disabled and kind of slow-witted( I do not mean that in a mean way) I like her very much, we are both Christians and during these last few weeks we both have been of great help to each other just emotionally. The problem is that she comes over EVERYDAY( she lives in my neighborhood). Not only once a day sometimes 3 or 4 times a day and she stays for FOREVER. If I do not answer the door purposely she will keep coming back and knocking until I do. I have 2 children and a husband and my husband is getting mad and I just want to tell her to not come over for a few days because, honestly, I need a break. She is lonely that is why she comes over and I could not stand to hurt her feelings. She has been hurt so much. So I feel like I can't do anything except just put up with her over at my house 24-7. What can I do?
2006-10-14 02:04:25 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
Darling, coming from one who has been there done that...please know that your family is #1. It is great to befriend someone who you can relate to, be a friend to however you must make certain you and they have bounderies. It is not so much hurting her feelings as in being a friend helping her to understand that you have a family and needs and time demands that you must acknowledge. You will help all involved if you are up front with her and let her know there are times when it's not convienent for visitors, and times when it is cool. If you allow yourself to be pulled in too many directions at once it may not only cause bitterness and misunderstanding between you and yours, but you and she. You can and soon let her know you appreciate her friendship and want to be her friend and at the same time you have to be able to balance all. Feeling sorry for someone who is in need does not facilitate a healthy interaction , and surely not please your husband. You might also share with him that this is friendship gives you some satisfaction and outlet you need. Many a person will cross your path and it is up to you to determine if it is for a reason a season or life. Take CAre and be blessed.
2006-10-14 02:27:40 · answer #1 · answered by Moma Redbone 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow , a toughie. You could just tell her how much you enjoy her company, but mention that you are a little stressed out because you have so much to do, and that you really need to get some things done. Make it sound like YOU are making the sacrifice of having her visit because you have to do these pesky chores. Then say something like, my life just runs better when I have a structured routine, so how about if I call you when its good for you to come and when I know I'll have time to visit with you. Maybe you could see if she would be interested in owning a pet, a dog or cat would keep her a little busier and give her some company. You could go to a shelter with her and help her pick one out. But if you don't say anything, you'll end up really resenting her and you'll have to start making up huge lies to get rid of her.
2006-10-14 02:14:18 · answer #2 · answered by Coco 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should def. try to talk to her... it wil be hard, especially since you haven't known her for very long... but she has to understand even if she doesn't have a family-you do! I would say to her something about the next time she wants to come over to call first ( say this nicely) because you have not been getting very much time with your family lately. Good Luck, the only way to let her know it bothers you without hurting her feelings is to let her know!!! Otherwise this will just keep up. Good Luck
2006-10-14 02:05:12 · answer #3 · answered by cheer8ko 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You should not let someone into your home like that...you barely know her. Sounds like trouble!!! She is not respecting your privacy at all. She is going to cause severe problems in your home life...between you and your husband. You need to stop that...DO NOT allow her to continue to come over like that...it is not healthy. I have a couple of good friends, and we've helped each other alot, but they DO NOT come over to my house everyday, and they DO NOT disrespect my privacy.
Shoot, they barely come over at all....YOUR HOME is your haven, your safe place, your family life, your privacy. Don't let a complete stranger come in and take that away from you, your husband, and your children.
I promise...that is trouble knocking at your door! And, I bet she is not as helpless as she makes out to be.
BE STRONG AND TAKE YOUR HOME BACK!
2006-10-14 02:11:09 · answer #4 · answered by Author Al 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her you like her friendship but she has become too dependant on you and as she is aware you have a family tell her that you need to look after there needs before hers if you let this carry on you will be in a right old mess she has to be told that your family comes first.
2006-10-14 02:09:16 · answer #5 · answered by Ian S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is not any longer something incorrect with you. this may be a factor such as you're saying or maybe no longer. you're no longer a terrible individual. It would not quite matter huge type what age you have or how long you and Mark have been relationship for. My mom continually tells us how she become relationship this guy for 5 years and that they broke up. it style of looks such as you extremely like this guy. What you need to do is seat on my own and actually think of roughly issues. Is dropping Mark for Trevor quite worth it. and you understand what, in case you come back up with the respond which you do no longer want to be with Mark anymore it quite is okay given which you understand which you made the excellent determination on your coronary heart. via what you're saying it style of feels as though Trevor quite likes you too. So the excellent suggestion i materials you is to truly think of and hear on your coronary heart. think of of the reliable issues you have had with Mark and how the destiny must be in case you stayed with him and think of if that is quite worth dropping all that for Trevor. yet as quickly as you're making your determination stay reliable with it because of fact love isn't something challenge-free to pass through. reliable success!
2016-10-19 09:22:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that you have a lot of things to do, and you don't want to be bad company. Say it through a crack in the door, don't let her in, and give her a good time to come back.
2006-10-14 02:06:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try explaining this to her?... go away for a few days with the family if possible? and say that you will see her when you get back. when you do see her say its better to have time inbetween seeing each other?
Not sure if this helps. Good luck :)
2006-10-14 02:07:14 · answer #8 · answered by Spike2012 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go over her house instead. Your husband won't have to deal with her and maybe she feels that you won't go to her so she has to come to you. Just a thought. Hope this helps.
2006-10-14 02:07:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest with her and explain that you need to spend time with your family . Suggest that you meet a couple of times a week away from your home.
2006-10-14 02:09:22 · answer #10 · answered by ding 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋