How did it feel the first time you realised some people out there hated you for being gay? Were you shocked?

Question

Indy T. I'm 30. I was called names since I was 11 at school. It shocked me. They knew before I did. You are a patronizing, arrogant, condescending old man if you think my felt experience can be dismissed as naive or somehow invalid.

Answer 1

It never fails to amaze me, the number of people on this earth who live on hate and mistrust of those who are different to themselves. However it no longer shocks me. The people who may hate me because I am gay, probably do so because they don't know me. My partner and I have just as many straight friends as gay friends. There are some straights who we will have nothing to do with because of their bigoted outlook, but there are probably just as many gays and lesbians who we will not associate with, for one reason or another.
Both kinds appear in these questions and answers all the time. The straight bigots spread their hatred and fear and like to use their religion as a justification. Meanwhile, there are many gays who feel it is their duty to be as gross and filthy as possible. I don't know whether they are trying to shock the bigots or just trying to prove how immature they are. They don't seem to realize what harm they are doing and they are really just making things worse.
The only thing that shocks (and disgusts) me, is how long both types are permitted to spread their garbage on this site.

Answer 2

I'm still shocked. In fact, most people I deal with on a daily basis don't seem to have a problem with it, so when I run into haters every once in a while it's always a surprise.

I know there's nothing wrong with me. When I realized that the so-called "religious" attitude towards gay people is that we're sinners and "selfish hedonists," I simply decided that religion is wrong, at least on that point. Basically you can either look at it that way, or you can internalize that bigotry and ignorance and turn on yourself, as many people unfortunately do. But I'd hope we can all admit that it wouldn't be the first time religion has been wrong about something.

Look at this guy below who says he's "irritated" that gay people are trying to be "accepted for their sexual appetites." This is what we're up against. You know what, I really don't care what people think about me - trust me. My friends "accept" me, and the rest can go to hell, and I think that's pretty much how everybody thinks on a personal level. I have absolutely no interest in forcing anybody to "accept" my sex life. I'm not the one who's obsessed with it! As for "legal recognition," yeah, I'd like to be able to have equal rights, simply because this country is supposed to be about equality and mutual tolerance. You can think whatever you want about me, and "accept" me or not (what exactly do they mean by that anyway? acknowledge that gay people exist and aren't just "faking it" to irritate the christians?); but I ought to have equal rights, as long as they don't infringe on the rights of others. And sorry, but if my "lifestyle" disgusts you, that doesn't qualify as an infringement of your rights, or else we all better just stay home.

People like this guy always fall back on the "choice" thing because, obviously, they understand that their entire argument amounts to good old fashioned bigotry unless they insist that being gay is a "choice," unlike being black or what have you. Although note that he also mentions persecution for religious beliefs as being more important as an issue than "gay rights" - but surely we can admit that religion is a "choice!"

Answer 3

It didn't shock me against me, but it did when they were cruel and excluded my child because of my partner and I. We aren't really in or out. We act like I expect other civilized people to act - no PDA's, etc. If someone asks then I tell the truth. But when another child's mother told a friend of mine that she would never let her child play at my house, I wass stunned and hurt terribly - for my sweet little girl. It took me weeks/months to get over it, but I finally got to a point where I realized I wasn't going to change people's opinion of me when that opinion was based on ignorance (like gay people are pedophiles!). Anyhow, I think it always hurts when someone is cruel - even if you're expecting it. I guess it's part of the human condition. I try to treat others the way that I want to be treated - even if their lifestyles and beliefs are outside of my experience. Good luck.

Answer 4

And you are how old?
No, it wasn't a "shock" at all, I'm sure many of my generation can tell you from first hand experience about the "jokes" they heard growing up, bullies threatening to beat someone up for whatever reason and as part of the process calling their victim a f**.
It must have been a wonderfully sheltered life you lived to be able to "realise" that some people hate gays. That knowledge was ground into those of us from the older generation every day from the beginning.

Answer 5

I'm usually only shocked by certain people. When I think I know someone and think they are open minded enough. Then I find out they were saying things behind my back. Some people I just expect it from and it's not so painful.

Answer 6

Actually, I found out how some people treat or feel about gay people before i find out I was gay. So you can't really say that I was shocked.

Answer 7

I think I was about 11 years old too in the 7th grade. the kids were really mean to me calling me names. I uses to cry alot in private because I got tired of having to defend myself and made to feel like an outcast. I was really effected by the things that happened to me then as I grew older depression and anxiety set in.

Answer 8

i always knew there was hatred towards gays i was just so shock when i realized how much of it was out there. It really hurt when i lost friends who i thought would always be there for me, but in the end i guess it only help me get stronger and now it doesn't bother me so much.

Answer 9

I felt like no one wanted me, and for a lot of people this is true. people see us as discusting and wrong. I was very shocked. I never knew that people could be so hateful.

Answer 10

I WASNT SHOCKED.... BECAUSE I AM NOT GAY.... ANY WAY U KNOW THAT THERE IS ALOT OF PEOPLE OUT THERE THAT IS AGAINST BEING GAY... SO IT SHOULD NOT BE THAT SHOCKING TO U... I DONT HAVE A PROBLEM WITH IT AS LONG AS U DONT TRY TO FORCE IT ON ME...GET OVER THE SHOCK AND IF THAT IS WHAT U R THEN THAT IS WHAT U R......