I`m marring a muslin in november,can any one tell me the pros and con?/?

Question

WILL MY NEW HUSBAND BE ABLE TO COME BACK TO ENGLAND ONCE WE MARRY IN GAMBIA?

Answer 1

I would suggest that one con is that you cannot spell Muslim

Answer 2

I found this statement on the following link:

http://72.14.253.104/search?q=cache:Y5RQqBw6zhAJ:www.virtualtourist.com/travel/Africa/Th"e_Gambia/Warnings_or_Dangers-The_Gambia-BR-3.html+british+women+marry+gambians&hl=en&gl=us&ct=clnk&cd=50

"I'm a bit supised this subject hasn't been mentioned before. [i.e. intermarriage between young Gambian males and women considerably older than themselves]. Gambians are charming, very caring, attentive by nature and make lovely company/dance partners during your stay. Unfortunately tourists are targeted, particularly in the Senegambia area, by Gambians, Nigerians and Sierra Leonians looking for a better life. I see so many marriages happening on a day to day basis between people living in the Gambia and Europeans. Unfortunately a lot of the relationships are about money and the person probably has a local wife and a few local girlfriends who will turn a blind eye in the hope of a better life for them aswell. Friends will cover for each other and lies may not be found out (if at all) until the relationship is in full swing or the marriage has happened. This has never happened to me but many people I know. If you are visiting the Gambia be very aware of the charming man who could be half your age (or less) that makes you feel so good as he could also hurt you terribly in the long run. IF you get involved with somebody you meet in the Gambia be very mindful that when you give them money their status changes amongst others and they can change to become more arrogant and less humble (i.e not the person you first met). If they really love you they will be happy for you to stay in their compound which is a much better way of getting to know them and if you must spoil them let it be in small ways over a number of months/years. Not a compound or tourist taxi. Lastly some of my Gambian friends who have married women older than them (awful to say it but for a visa or money) are now targeting younger European women as they have realised they cannot have a family with their first wife. A heavy subject but many Gambians want to see an end to sex tourism in their country and hopefully Europeans will welcome a warning so they can visit the country with their eyes open. Aside from that Gambia is a truly wonderful country to experience."

Do think through what you are contemplating. The British Immigration authorities are very familiar with this particular scenario.

Answer 3

Their food is great, and I do wish you well. Just hope you do not have to walk 3 steps behind him. I think in Muslim homes the male is the boss. If you can live with second class citizenship, that's fine. I could not. Also you might be prepared to have LOTS of kids. Since I am in the US I don't know how the rules work re. him coming back to England, but you both need to find out beforehand. If he is already controlling your relationship, BEWARE. "Marry in haste, repent in leisure." If your religious beliefs are much different than his this will be a real problem. A word to the wise!

Answer 4

Is it love you are looking for or permanent stay in England? You hardly possess love for this poor bloke, all you seem to care about is country status. Why are you marrying in Gambia anyway if you are so concerned about his return to England?
If you show panic in marrying a muslim, did he threaten you into this relationship now that you have so many questions about his religion? Why are you afraid to ask him about the pros and cons of his religion? This relationship seems to wind you up and to me that sucks!

Answer 5

I hope youv'e thought long and hard about this one. Do you know enough about this man? his religion and culture? i hope so because if he is a devout muslim he may expect certain things of you once your married that you will not be happy with. Marriage can be difficult enough if you have different backgrounds, cultures, and beliefs i would guess its gona make life pretty difficult. But then again only you know the answer to that. Goodluck !

Answer 6

Are you converting to Islam? If you are european you might want to find out if your prospective husband will be happy for you to continue with the freedoms you currently enjoy.
Many muslim men come from a culture where the husband makes all decisions and do not allow their wives to go out of the house alone, speak to other men who are not related, wear european clothes etc etc

Answer 7

sounds like you need to set down and have a heart to heart with
your husband . he can answer all of the questions about muslin
you need to know all the pros and cons before hand and you need to do some home work.

Answer 8

Hello,

When making such life decisions, take it from someone who has been there and done that and not from someone who just listens to the media on their information.

I had lived in the Gambia for over 2 years and started to get to know many of the customs and traditions that Gambians (man and women) observe. They adhere to both the Western culture and the Muslim culture. Good news for you! You can celebrate Christmas and his holidays.

That is one plus of many things that you will find in common with him.

While living there I observed many things that people from the western cultures sometime miss. Such things like the family structures that play heavily in what the Gambian male and women do. Do be prepared to provide support (financial and emotional) to his entire family (immediate and extended) and friends in the months to come after you marry him. A lesson I learned the hard way when marring my wife!

You see it is very difficult for a Gambian to get a decent living wage since they don’t have the same opportunities that we have in the Western world. From education to social services, from employment to leisure, they just don’t have it. So as soon as a Gambian gets a chance to go abroad to a location that has these opportunities, the whole community expects and sometimes requires that the individual bring back some of the western world back to their homeland.

I fell head over heals for my wife and did not put these things into considerations until after a few months after she came home with me.

I am not saying not to bring him back home with you, but most likely he and or his family will be looking for you to act as there sole provider since your new spouse is a green leaf when it comes to supporting himself and you, plus his family in a new land.

So I pose a question for you, are you strong enough (emotionally) to deal with raising a adult male for sometime before he can stand on his own two feet and support himself and contribute to your family?

Also do put into consideration his cultures and norms that were ingrained in him from birth. Sit down with him and asking straight up what he believes and what his role should be in a family. Ask him to be honest and not give you some standard saying. Get to know him just as you would anyone else.

The troubles with falling in love is that people don’t ask important questrions before they tie the knot but wait until months or years after they are already married and discuss such issues.
Sometimes it is very difficult to get out of a relationship once you have invested yourself and possible a child into a relationship.

Let me close by saying this, take your time and really get to know the person and what they are like and where they are coming from!

Answer 9

I dont recommend marrying this guy simply for the fact you may be getting in deeper than you think. The question is, will he LET YOU come back to England after you get married?

Answer 10

It is mostly cons if he is a very conservative person. He will not like life in the UK. I would check on how devout he is and ask him if he is comfortable living in a society that allows for many different lifestyles (gays, etc.). If he is very conservative but wants to live somewhere else, then try Saudi Arabia.

Answer 11

He will be able to come back and visit as a toursist, but you will need to go to immigration to organise visa/permanent entry. I'm thinking he wont be able to stay till all the paperwork is done, I would contact immigration now.