i'm crying nearlly everynight because i had miscarriage and i feel stupid by crying what should i do?

Answer 1

I've been through this myself. I had a miscarriage about 9 years ago. I felt like you do, that crying was stupid. I thought people must have been wondering why I was so upset "after all I never actually met my baby" but that feeling of emptiness was real. I cried myself to sleep for weeks but one day I realised that I hadn't cried for a while.

It takes time and you give yourself that time. You cry because your body needs that relief, you shouldn't feel stupid. As for what you should do, maybe speaking your doctor about it or going to a miscarriage support group would give you hope that you can and will get past this.

My husband and I planted a shrub in our garden as a token of our love for our baby, watching it grow has brought my peace as I feel our baby is still part of our lives.

I feel for what your going through and I've cried a few tears while writing this. I may not know you but I will thinking about you over the next few weeks.

Give yourself time, the pain will ease. xxx

Answer 2

It is a loss and you have every right to have a good cry. Your hormones are also in a totally crazed state after a miscarriage and that will play with your moods for the next 4 to 6 weeks too.

It is also important that you take excellent care of yourself, eat properly, take prenatal vitamins to help you replenish lost iron and calcium and get enough rest.

Once you stop bleeding, be sure to use birth control so that you don't get pregnant again for at least three months. It will help reduce the risk of further miscarriages.

That said, you must remember that just because you've had a miscarriage (about 20% of all pregnancies end in miscarriage), or even two, does not mean that you cannot have a healthy pregnancy and deliver a perfect baby. I've had 2 miscarriages and I have two beautiful children.

And, once you feel better and stronger after this, I wish the same happiness for you.

Answer 3

Crying is the first step towards healing. You are not stupid, just being a real human being. I am sorry for your loss; nature has a hurtful way to show that sometimes things are not meant to be for whatever reason. Perhaps the baby would have been very poorly, so nature's way to prevent a lifetime of your anguish and sadness was to deprive you of the baby at the 'early stages'. Try to look at it like that. I am sure you will become a mum soon and have a beautiful baby. This I am sure will not in any way replace your baby, but will put things into context. For every baby you have from now on, just say to yourself that if the baby that you lost had been born, perhaps the 'following' kids wouldn't have. Hope this helps. But please, speak to somebody, don't close yourself in, you need to discuss this. Thats the only way you can start to heal. Take care, and never think it was your fault because it wasn't.

Answer 4

Don't feel stupid! It is okay to cry. It will take a lot of time but it will eventually get easier and easier every day. Just hang in there. You may never full recover. I had a miscarriage about three years ago and I still morn the loss of my child. I am an overly scared parent. Let the tears flow girlie because it is normal. Feeling bad about your feelings can't be good at all. You may need to go seek professional help. Whatever you do, please don't think that you are stupid or that your acting stupid this is just as bad I believe as losing a child because you really have!!!
Good Luck and I'll be keeping you in my prayers!

Answer 5

You need to cry sweetheart its part of the healing process , a miscarriage is still a bereavement and u are hurting . The crying will become less each day but u will never forget ur baby no matter how far along u were . I miscarried on xmas day in 1992 and i think of that child often .I was only 9 weeks pregnant at the time but it was still my baby .

p.s. i went on to have another 3 kids after the miscarrage so i`m pretty sure u will be blessed with a baby when the time is right ..

Take care & God bless xx

Answer 6

hi, i lost my baby 3 days ago, i was only 7 weeks preg but it still hurts. I have to go for a scan tomorrow to make sure all the pregnancy has come away, i am dreading it. I keep thinking that maybe they will see a heartbeat, but i know that cant happen. It will get better for us, and i know this is a million miles from your mind (and mine) but we can try again. I just keep thinking that my baby was not forming right and its natures way of telling me. I keep getting upset, i cried this morning telling a friend. don't feel bad, time is a great healer. we will feel better soon i am sure. good luck, your not alone in this, i am crying too! And by the way i have noticed that some people have put some cruel comments to you, ignore these, they obviously have never been through what we are going through. xxx

Answer 7

Sunday night at 7pm is known as WAVE OF LIGHT. This is where many people around the world light candles in memory of lost children. This takes place every year on 15th october. This week is known nationally as babyloss awareness week.
I too lost a baby 2 years ago yesterday and still feel very sad, but by acknowledging my baby i find it helps the healing process. You will never forget your baby and should never try to. There are many websites which can help and some allow you to light a virtual candle & leave a message for your baby. By doing this your baby will always be with you in your heart.
I am so sorry for your loss.

Answer 8

I feel for you I really do, i had 3 miscarrages in 18 months, people say time is a healer but it doesnt help, time doesnt heal, in time you forget the tiny details. I got through it by having the attitude of there are people out there who are worse off, i know this might seem mad but it worked for me. Keep on trying because there is light at the end, i am proof, i have just had a baby girl and in time, you will be able to help other people who are unfortunate to be in the same situation as you are now, dont beat yourself up, ive done that three times over and it has got me nowhere, its good to cry it really is so dont feel stupid and anyway, keeping the emotions and feelings that you are going through to yourself is not healthy for you or your partner. Speak to your partner, remember they are probably just as heart broken as you are. I also found the miscarrage association helpfull.
good luck, and dont give up, you will be rewarded a million times over xx

Answer 9

It is ok to cry - you are not being stupid by doing this. You have suffered a very sad loss and that is something that time will heal. In the meantime, maybe you need to get off the internet and talk to someone, get a cuddle and reassurance from those around you. It is hard right now, but it will get better.

Take care.

Answer 10

I know how you feel i lost my baby boy at 16 and half weeks all i can say is i cry still and its been 6 months i just believe that he has joined the other angels in heaven and i know he will be with me forever in my heart so i think that makes it a little easier to get over it im sure when you feel a little better you will have the baby you long for come to you.