hi, i am a 27 yr old married man from past few months.My wife is 24 yrs old.I am very lucky to get her as my wife.She is a nice girl and we respect eachother a lot.i love her a lot and i know that she too loves me.But my problem is she is too shy in bed and does not co-operate me to fulfill my sexual desires.She feels very uncomfortable when i kiss her and i find her shivering when i hug her and try to make love to her . She does not complain or tells anything about her problem but somehow i want her to make her feel happy and comfortable with me in bed.I am really worried about how can i make her ready so that i can enter her.pls help me
2006-10-13 23:48:47 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
Communicate, communicate, communicate. Talk to her about your concerns, and be ready to listen to what she has to say. Encourage her to open up, and don't be judgemental.
2006-10-14 05:08:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have a heart to heart with her and see if she will tell you what the problem is. From what you are saying there is some underlying issue going on here. You may even want to encourage her to get some counseling, I would suspect that after you talk and if she opens up and is honest something sexual has happened to her somewhere down the line. Good for you for being so sensitive and compassionate with your wife. Have the talk, which will be very difficult for her i suspect. Be patient and encourage her to get some help. Good luck and God bless.
2006-10-14 14:48:02 · answer #2 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to her. don't make her feel bad about how she is reacting.
if she will open up to you listen to her, don't judge her. give her time.
I've gone through this. I love my husband(but I do make sure that I make sure he's pleased sexually) but I don't like to be touched. This started about three years ago(personally I attribute it to taking depo provera for birth control because that is the only thing that changed in my life at that time and that injection screwed up my life in so many areas)
Anyway,
For some reason my body just reacts strongly to being touched, and not in a good way. My husband and I talk about it. I love him, he's my best friend and has never done anything to make me this way. I don't know what to tell you. I am the type of person who always puts other people before myself so I make sure that my husband gets satisfied. I can handle and enjoy intercourse but I don't want him touching me down there at all.
Just love her and be supportive. She is going through something, maybe she's not even sure why. Was she like this before or did it just start to happen? If it's something new, can you think of something that may of happened?
Good luck. Love her through it.
2006-10-14 03:22:52 · answer #3 · answered by kardea 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you need to sit down with her and have a chat to her as to why she feels this way because this is not normal!! Why would she have any reason to fear you or to shiver!! Maybe do more for your loving wife suprise her with her fave flowers or take her out for a nice romantic diner for 2 or do the house cleaning for once!! Make her feel comfortable and ask her why and how you can help her over come this problem!! good luck!
2006-10-13 23:54:56 · answer #4 · answered by Cokie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Check out the "Dr. Laura Berman's Passion Files website.
She sounds like she has had some trauma in the past.
Take a shower with her, use bodywash and suds her up, but don't be sexual about it. Pat her dry with a towel and take her to bed and trace her body with an ostrich feather (get it at Michaels or some other craft store). The point is to get her to begin to enjoy your attention to her body in a not-necessariy sexual way.
When you build more rapport, try body massages with lotion. Again, make it non-sexual. Gradually work up to lingering in certain places. Use your lips; trace them lightly over her skin.
Be slow and patient with her. The entire time, let her know how much she drives you crazy, and how much you enjoy her pleasure. tell her how lucky you feel to be the one she picked, and the one she shares herself with.
Give her some time to learn to trust you, and learn that you are concerned with her pleasure more than your own. When she trusts you, give her pleasure from time to time, and expect nothing in return. Just a quick sexual favor in the shower, when you wake up, or when you go to bed.
Subscribe to the Dr. Laura Berman's Passion Files free email newsletter, and read it with her. She has a show in tv called Sexual Healing, links to erotic toys, and female friendly erotica and porn for couples. All kinds of stuff that promotes a healthy sex life with couples.
Don't allow yourself to resort to going online and indulging yourself with porn or chat sites. This will only drive a wedge between you two. Take a pic of her and use that when you indulge. Use a digital camera and let her pic out one she is ok with you having.
2006-10-14 05:29:24 · answer #5 · answered by pandora the cat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as if she's experienced some sort of trauma in her past, and that it's something that needs to be resolved. Don't push her... its not you that's the problem. Ask her about her fears in an understanding and compassionate way.... if you appear open and noncritical... she may be able to open up to you too. Counseling might be very helpful, but the first step is for her to admit her concerns to you.
2006-10-14 02:34:41 · answer #6 · answered by just_me3575 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't take it personally. It is possible that she may have been raped or sexually assaulted in the past, and thus it makes her feel uncomfortable.
It may simply be the case that she is shy, and doesn't have confidence in what she is doing. Either way. It is best to sit her down and talk with her about it.
2006-10-14 02:37:24 · answer #7 · answered by Mr. Maul 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
sounds like she may have had something happen in her past that she may not be able to get over talk to her in a non threatening place such as a quiet restaurant so that she does not feel like you are just trying to get in her pants.and see if she will agree to talk to a couples counselor with just her at first the combined sessions
2006-10-14 20:23:27 · answer #8 · answered by tjhand5094 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Buy her an expensive silk negligee that is beautiful and sexy but
with a robe so she can be comfortable and show as much as she wants. Have it gift-wrapped too. Write on the card something like: "I just wanted to tell you how much I love you. I think you are beautiful." Then wait and let her initiate the love.
2006-10-14 00:12:10 · answer #9 · answered by punk bitch piece of shit 3 · 1⤊ 3⤋
Try to talk to her , and tell her what you fel and need , I am sure this is the bes way to solve your problem.
2006-10-14 00:04:25 · answer #10 · answered by The Wizard 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋