I have discussed this with my husband and he won't tell me why there has been a change. I feel he is either seeing someone or has no interest in me and I don't know how to make him tell me the truth. It is very painful to have to beg for sex from my husband. I feel like a dog.
2006-10-13 22:56:49 · 18 answers · asked by Deena O 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This is how everyday routine life turns couples. Romanticism goes away. Try, next time, instead of asking him, to create a romantic aatmosphere, cook a nicely served dinner, dress well and wear some make up and perfume, light candles, fill the bath tub, give him a massage and have a relaxed evening, and if it doesn't work, then there is a problem. Don't forget to turn the TV off and send the kids away!
2006-10-13 23:01:23 · answer #1 · answered by cpinatsi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Know what ya mean! In fact I was just discussing this with my husband yesterday! I told him that it seems I only get sex when I mention how long it's been since the last time! Then I feel like it's a pity **ck!! I don't want that! I feel like I'm unattractive, not desired, and maybe I'm a horndog! But I need it more than 2 to 3 times a month! Basically what I've done is just not talk about it, or give him sh*t about it. I've talked to him before (lots of times), hinted about how long it's been, been sarcastic, made the first moves (only to be turned down and boy was that a total meltdown of my self esteem!!). He just tells me that he's so stressed. I've gotten that for a long time, but this time I do know he is totally stressing! I'm baffled over the whole thing myself. I hope your outcome is better than mine!
2006-10-13 23:27:49 · answer #2 · answered by yokrem 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is the difficult part. Men do not communicate when they act this way. There is nothing other than radical means that can get him out of this phase. He is currently taking you for granted, he hasn't forgiven you also for something you did to him back there, even disrespecting him in public can create this resentment. He does not have to be cheating on you but if your man used to be sexual and romantic to you and he isn't, he is either having serious financial problems or his found a girlfriend. Now running after him to find which girl his with just makes you more of a jerk. What you need to do is what I call 'reverse psychology'. I am sure you are a fine fine woman, right? start to work on your looks more, your outfits, and your attitude. Go back to before he married you and remember what you used to do to get attention. This time, don't direct it at him, just find your girlfriends and start spending time with them (don't cheat ever!, just make him feel a little uncomfortable), in a month he will start complaining that you look like a sl**t and your acting cheap. You will tell him, you love him but you did not get into this marriage for left over food. You are equals in this marriage and he has to step up, not with your pressure but with his will. He needs to know that.
2006-10-13 23:24:38 · answer #3 · answered by jackbauer 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am male and was in the same situation.
My wife had a very healthy sex drive and I had virtually no interest.
She continually had to instigate love making and I would pretty much do it out of obligation. (I am speaking in past tense because I am no longer married to her.)
In my case it was because of the nature of the relationship outside of the bedroom. Its impossible to feel a sexual connection with someone who makes you unhappy in your everyday life.
I would be fairly surprised if this wasn't a symptom of some other problem rather than a problem in itself.
You need to talk if you ever expect it to come back (the spark). I am assuming that you were once very active with eachother and that this is a development.
Good luck and I hope you can work it out.
2006-10-14 00:47:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe, without knowing, your putting your husband to the test.
You used the word (performs), in your heading.
Maybe your using a scale of, 1-10 to rate you husband.
Make love to him, and take your car for a proformas test.
So don't feel like a dog, start feeling like a women, work this out with him.
But if you still feel, like a dog, then do it dogie style
2006-10-13 23:23:53 · answer #5 · answered by meatball288001 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you know what?? I'm in tha same situation. But I'm also 8 months pregnant, so that could be the reason, but either way I know how ya feel!!! Lets hope that after this baby comes out things will get going again!!!
2006-10-14 00:13:01 · answer #6 · answered by ApRiL 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
why do you ask whats wrong with you ?Its a problem for you both but not necessarily something you are doing wrong ,he may be stressed about work or money or sick .try the normal things like dressing nice and dinner for two and take the pressure off him ,let him relax and talk to him.
2006-10-13 23:10:35 · answer #7 · answered by stephanie n 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you and your husband need to speak to a marriage councillor to try and sort yourselves out it is probably down to stress or something however never beg for sex it should just come natuarally
hope this helps
2006-10-14 00:03:22 · answer #8 · answered by roberta r 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well i am a man who wife complains about the same thing my main reasons have been physical appearance . i think wives get comfortable or feel their husbands should accept them the way they are undressed and no matienence at all so i would suggest you put more effort into your appearance and being sexy the same effort you put in when you was dating him sssssshhhhhhh i wont tell no one i know you have it in you ....good luck
2006-10-14 10:07:17 · answer #9 · answered by OFFICER CAMPBELL 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask your husband to see a medical doctor, tell him you are concerned. If he refuses ask him if he's having an affair or just doesn't find you attractive anymore.
2006-10-13 23:07:45 · answer #10 · answered by debi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋