like my poem?

Question

the man inbetween:
the man on the left, is a man undone,
he'd give his soul, if you asked him for some,
a child in his way, brings the belief,
that love is a song for each one to sing,
the man on the right like a prize unwon,
a candle unlit and a song unsong,
believing that love is a dreamer's dream,
the man on the left, with me inbetween,
I can hear your distant trumpet,
calling from the morning mountain,
singing to the passing river,
take me home,
show me peaceful days before my youth is gone,
the man inbetween, waits between the two,
not hearing the lie, not seeing the truth,
or knowing what is, or denying what seems,
the man on the left, with me inbetween,
Ican hear your distant trumphet,
calling from the morning mountain,
singing to the passing river,
take me home,
show me peaceful days before, my youth is gone

the man on the left is a man undone,
the man on the right like a prize unwon,
and god only knows what time will bring,
or what will become , of the man ,
inbetween

Answer 1

Yes, I do like it. It reminds me of the Medieval morality pattern - a man faced with two alternatives, framed by two choices. Is it in this way that you meant the "man in-between" to be?

Answer 2

I think it is a very well constructed poem,great imagery I like the rhythm
it is depressing though, but aren't all poems?
I hope you won't be offended if I say this will make a great song, sung in the battle of evermore style of Led Zeppelin

too late, my band has already plagurised the lyrics

Answer 3

I do like it although it does strike me as being a bit melancholy. Was that the effect you wanted?

Answer 4

yeah i do

Answer 5

nice v.nice !!!!!!!! but ...............not interesting !!!!!!!!