do you think he misses him?

Question

my husband just left for Iraq a few days ago and our 3 month has been so cranky since he left, won't sleep for more than a few hours at a time, and just really upset. I wonder if he knows that my husband is gone and misses him. My mom (who lives nearby) says it's silly because he's too young to remember people and if he can't see you he doesn't think about you; that he's just upset because I've been upset and I need to give him to her for a few days until i get settled down. To me I would think that'd just make things worse since he'd be seperated from both parents. Any thoughts? thank you!

Answer 1

I too am a Military wife. My husband is to be leaving soon. I know that with all the high emotions of his departure and the stress and worries. The baby can sence your emotions. When you are edgy they can be very fussy. Your heart beat to your baby the baby feels and sences the tention. Your baby may not remember because your infant is just a lil baby yet. Try to calm yourself before you tend to your beloved sweet baby. The baby will calm down for you after you have reassured the baby by giving all the love and attent the infant needs. If the baby gets so fussy ask your mom to help you out to give you rest. You will need all the support you can get for you and your baby and home. Keep your chin up and don't stress yourself out. Okay? Take care Ms. Lady and can only encourage you to keep our guys in His loving arms and with an everlasting hedge of protection around our men out there in Iraq and it's neigboring countries from all harm and danger. God is in control and dont you fret.

Answer 2

Yes of course he will miss him. During the time you've been pregnant the baby can hear you speak while inside the womb. So if he can hear you speak it is often assumed that he would hear the ppl around you talk also. He will also feel the emotions of you and your hubby together and since he's gone to Iraq the baby will sense something is missing and wonder why the other voice he has come to know as well as yourself is not there right now. There is a few things you might be able to try and see if any of these will help calm he down. Though his Daddy isn't home right now he will remember the scent and know that he is still somewhere close and it won't be so scary for him. Some babies just hate changes and when they are that young they sense it even more. If you have an old shirt thats soft and was something he had worn...you've not washed it yet. Let the baby snuggle it. If is still smells like Daddy then that adds to his comfort. Daddy's cologne will work too or shaving lotion. Sounds funny i know but these things do work. They help with the problem reversed when Mommy is away so why not try it for Daddy too. Good luck to you and safe return soon to your husband. When your child is older try to tape Daddy's voice...either reciting a short story or just saying things that he wants to baby to hear. Then when he's gone you'll be able to play it and for yourself too. Keeps the heart warm! Bye for now

Answer 3

I think he does. How would anyone know when a kid starts to remember people? When my son was around 1 1/2, if I went anywhere, he'd ask whomever he was staying with "Is Mommy comin'?" every few minutes.

I have a 4 month old. And his dad has started a new job, with longer hours. He stares at the spot where his dad always sits and holds him.

It could help things if you cheer up though. He'll see you happy and be happier too. Do you have any of your husbands' clothes that haven't been washed? Let your little boy hold it, smelling his dad may help. It sounds weird, but I had to do that sometimes when my son would spend the night somewhere(when he was young). Best of luck to you!

Answer 4

I know there are a lot of people who dont think babies can remember things at this age but it's not true in my experience. My girl didnt see her dad for 10 days when she had just turned 5 mths old (I left on vacation to visit the in-laws before he did) and the second she saw him again she started going into hysterical giggles for 10 min straight just at the very sight of him. Made us all cry. She also remembered her bedroom after being away for a month when we got back from our visit.
The above said, he very likely is getting fussy because he sees you upset, so I do agree with your mom when she says you need to try to feel better yourself. However, after having your husband leave I doubt being by yourself is what you need right now. Perhaps you could invite your mother to stay with you for a few days at your place? I dont remember it being quite that young, but my daughter really picks up on my feelings. One time she was playing happily on the floor and turned to see me crying, and her little lower lip turned out and she got sad eyes before starting to cry herself. Broke my heart. Will NEVER let her see me upset again, I'll go into a separate room if I need to so she wont see me.
I hope all turns out well for you! Keep smiling...

Answer 5

A child remembers from 3 years old on... maybe a few people a bit earlier... but not at 3 months. It's probably because he can sense that you have been less fun... more absent minded.
If you leave your child now, ... do you think your sadness will be less? I don't think so.... you have to learn to keep your sadness to yourself.... let Grandma watch the baby a couple of hours a day... that's when you can let yourself go... the sooner you master this - the better for the baby.

Answer 6

I do agree with your mother. Your baby is too young to know what is going on. I understand that you are really upset and missing your husband but your child is too young.

When my son was 2 months old (My husband-My son's daddy) went to jail over a DUI and we didn't have the money to pay him out so he stayed in jail for a month...It was pay or stay so he stayed a month and my son was fine and in my mind didn't even know he was gone. That was 5 years ago though.

Good luck

Answer 7

I think he is truly sensing a change in his environment that can also equate to missing him. I truly believe that babies are sensitive to emotions in their environment too. He feels that you are upset which shows great empathy. It's like a baby will start crying when they hear another baby crying.

Stay strong, it's harder for you than your little one right now. Just give him extra hugs and snuggles. I wish the best for you. I really wish we were not at war so are troups could be home with their family's instead.

Answer 8

Yes, I think he misses his daddy, although he may not have the kind of memory that will hold him in mind for very long. But he is also aware of your mood, I am sure. Personally, I think your mother's assessment is just her chance to have the baby to herself for a few days. Still, he needs to bond with grandma, too.

Answer 9

He probably does miss his dad he know he is gone and if you give him to your mum for a few days it'll make him worse but you being upset might also upset him. good luck

Answer 10

My guess would be that your son is just upset because he can sense you are upset. Three month olds don't really remember anyone but they are very in tune with their mother and are surprisingly sensitive to your nonverbal cues.