I think its time I stopped sending my kids off for visits. These are my reasons.
1. I get no child support.
2. He cancels about half the visits at the last minute anyway.
3.He has never called to talk to the boys I have to ring when the boys want to talk to him.
4. He tells my son terrible lies and some truths that are not for a 6 year olds ears.
My son misses his dad and asks to go. My kids are 6 and 7.
2006-10-13 20:46:29 · 14 answers · asked by Mel 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
not completely, but stop them for a while. make him realize just how much the boys mean to him.it seams that at this piont, he takes them for granted, so if oyu stop them for a while, it will make him realize just how much he loves and cares for them.( daughter of angel 76, 14 yrs of age.)
as a mother that was once in a similar situation, i would continue the visits but with some major boundries. first of all, let him know that it is totally unacceptable for his behavior to continue and if you feel that it wont become to heated, it may even to "over hear" the conversation, or have a family meeting. make sure you are keeping a journal and write down EVERYTHING that protains to the meetings and his actions. im srry to hear that you are going though this. i hope things gets better for you and your boys. you never know when he will change if at all but you dont want your boys to come back to you when they are teenagers and say its your fault for no realationship with their dad.
2006-10-13 21:04:14 · answer #1 · answered by angel76 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sound like you have a loser for an ex. I think that you should be honest and articualte when talking to your kids. Tell them that their father has problems and loves then in the way that he can. if it is harmful for your boys to see their dad then yes, you should stop the visits. Children need their dad and if this is the best this guycan give it may be better than nothing. I think you need to write down the pros and cons. He may be huring your kids by caneling not calling etc. but as they get older they will realize, w/o you telling them how their father really is. It may be disapointing but they will hurtfuly deal. If you do not trust the guy to keep your kids safe etc. and they still want to see him then you can arange kids and dad to meet w/another shaperone also. It's a hard situation
2006-10-13 21:26:47 · answer #2 · answered by chill'n 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you are lumping the problems together, and it might be better to address them separately.
1. Go to court and get a court order for child support, and negotiate terms of the custody visits.
2. If he cancels the visits, that should violate the terms of the custody visits, so he might cause himself to lose custody visits.
3. Let him know that he is welcome to call to talk to the boys at any time, and encourage him to do so if you want him to.
4. Make a record of anything that your son tells you that his father said, and talk to a lawyer about it. Then confront him and let him know not to say such things or his custody might be at risk.
The dad will probably play an important part in the emotional health of his children, but he needs to act appropriately. Your best bet is to go through legal channels to ensure he does act so.
2006-10-13 20:53:03 · answer #3 · answered by a_blue_grey_mist 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your children want to see their dad, be the bigger person, when they are older they will love and respect you for it, half the times he cancels, the other half he doesn't your boys want those times when he does show, give it to them, your boys do not care about money and will not consider the lack of child support a valid reason for not seeing their dad.
2006-10-13 20:49:51 · answer #4 · answered by Sara 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems to me as though the father really doesn't care for his children. You should have put it into your divorce agreement that visitation depends solely on child support. That is what our family did. When your kids get older, they will realize that it was him that didn't want to see them...etc...if he is telling your 6 year old inappropriate things, he should not be around them anymore...
2006-10-13 20:54:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should stop the custody visits ..
But wont you need permission from the court to do that..or he can sue u right..!!
In this whole thing i feel bad for ur boys...but i guess everything happens for a very good reason...
:)
stay strong..
2006-10-13 20:51:47 · answer #6 · answered by happinezz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i went through the same thing but the i thing is no matter what he does your kids will always love their dad no matter what because he is their father i always just put up with it for my kids sake because the kids are the ones that are affected by it
2006-10-13 20:50:57 · answer #7 · answered by tottie512 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No plz forget god sake I think by that vist may give ur child one moment that he or she can not get frm mother They need there dad
2006-10-13 20:49:26 · answer #8 · answered by SG 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should. dont let your child go with that kind of people. I mean their dad. it seems he dont care so stop it now and find the right one for your kids.
2006-10-13 20:51:16 · answer #9 · answered by anne 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you dont get support then i would go and get it. you dont have to let them see their daddy, but if your kids want to, try to do it on mutual grounds so you wont have to let them be around him long if you feel as strong about your situation as you do
2006-10-14 14:44:03 · answer #10 · answered by daisy d 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋