My husband and I have been married for 12 years and we have three (3) beautiful children togehter. ( house, cars, pets too........) but how do you know if the other person is in love w/ you or that you are in love w/ him. Heard the expression, " I love you, but I'm not in love w/ you" What is the difference????? Anything will help....Thanks.. ( and, P.S., love)
2006-10-13 19:19:53 · 10 answers · asked by crazyami 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am not a marriage counselor, but I believe that you know innately what the problem is here by the way you asked the question.
Your question suggested that you have a busy life, for you indicated that you have 3 children, a house, cars, and pets. I am making a further assumption that, commensurate with the children, are the school plays, the ball games, the piano and dance recitals, and such. A life so busy, perhaps, that you might have left out you and your husband, if I may dare say.
It sounds to me that you both love each other without a doubt, but that the romance has gone out of the relationship, i.e.; the fun, the special times alone, or a variety of other things. ("I love you, but not in love with you.")
My best suggestion would be for you (or, really the BOTH of you) to make more time for just yourselves, like leaving the kids with a babysitter for a romantic evening, or plan on a weekend together sometimes with the children spending the weekend with grandparents, if that is feasable. Sometimes a licensed marriage counselor might be in order (as I said, I am not one).
Whatever you do, though, don't sweep it under the rug hoping it will get better on its own. Marriages take constant work.
Good luck!
2006-10-13 19:40:16 · answer #1 · answered by calledkevinalot 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alright , there is a big difference if being in love and loving someone. Being in love carries a certain amount of lust that you normally find in new marriages. But being loved is when a person can look at another when they dislike the other the most and find a way to make things better. Not being in love is why so many marriages fail so early. You expect the other to always need, want, and appreciate you. Do your kids always act they why with you...no. But, in the end they still have your heart until you die. You will always find a way with them to find a solution to the problem. In marriage, you chose the person that you will fall in AND out of love with. But, your heart is with them. (until the screw you over totally) so don't worry about the in love thing. Worry about finding that love that will last you forever.
2006-10-13 20:15:12 · answer #2 · answered by d 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I love you is somthing anyone can say from the mouth out. For example you can use the word love in a sentence like "I love the color pink" Love is a word no body uses correctly anymore, being IN LOVE..is a diffent thing. Being IN LOVE means you love this person so much not a moment goes buy that you can't think of them. It's hard explaining it but I do hope you understand. I've heard the words I love you but i'm not In love with you. Over time I grew to understand them. Good luck!!
2006-10-13 20:13:27 · answer #3 · answered by ~* Pink Princess *~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you are in love with some one every thing you do is done with person in mind, Love is respect, responsible, caring honest trustworthy, Loving is wanting or needing some thing, for example I would love a new car, or I love apples. Hope this helps
2006-10-13 19:29:14 · answer #4 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmmm...looking for that long-lost spark - the "in love" type? Its time for another honeymoon...no kids....just the 2 of you.
Relationships can get into a big rut...its time to be a little wacky and a little playful..
Whereas the "I love you" goes, thats the major foundation. Imagine, due to an unexpected tragedy, your partner is now gone. No doubt that would hurt...
Its time for some talking and playing. Best of luck!
2006-10-13 19:49:46 · answer #5 · answered by rokdude5 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being "in love" with someone carries the additional burden of wanting to commit yourself to that person for life. You want them to be happy, and you want the instrument of that happiness. You put their wants and desire before your own. You want to share a life together in every sense.
You can "love" someone, just as it says. I have good friends that I love (meaning I care about their health and well-being) but I don't care to spend the rest of my life with them in an intimate way. I don't need to know their every secret, every thought. It's a pretty clear distinction.
2006-10-13 19:27:28 · answer #6 · answered by damad31 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think before he was inlove with you...but as years go by...he loves you because of your children...but not really inlove with you...He is trying to keep the family intact but the core of it is starting to get destructed....Maybe it's time to have a heart to heart communication with your husband....much better to fix it as early as now rather than at the end you ill realize that your family is alreay torn apart.....take care..
2006-10-13 19:27:45 · answer #7 · answered by xrae12 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sometimes if u say i love u u just say that because u got used to sayin it but u r not in love with that person anymore...i dont know....but u just know when u love somebody u feel it without a single word
2006-10-13 19:27:57 · answer #8 · answered by Ashlee_Hbiba 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Has he given you any reason to believe that he isn't in love with you? In my experience people who aren't in love with someone don't tend to stick around for 12 years!
Tee
2006-10-13 19:22:15 · answer #9 · answered by sexymama2420052000 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well , logically , I'd say , I love you can be you love that person , but i am not in love with you means - you are ok but i dont love you !
Hope this resolved your doubt !
2006-10-13 19:27:48 · answer #10 · answered by Beautiful Snowwhite 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋