I lost my husband on thanksgiving day in 1998, he was 33 yrs old. we were so in love, he knew my heart and i knew his. resently i remarried a man but were already seperated, for several different reasons, i think hes gay, or bi, says hes not, but theres other big issues like that. im hurting deeply, im 42 years old and i want to have happiness in my life. i still dream that Larry is alive and i miss his love in my life so terribly. Does this pain ever leave?
2006-10-13 17:50:34 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Oh sweetie, my heart goes out to you for your loss and your pain.
Everyone has to go through their grieving at their own pace, and your grief still sounds as raw as it was when you lost your husband. Have you been able to share your grief with anyone? Nine years is a long time to have such raw feelings as this frequently. I would suggest that you talk to a professional and maybe look for a support group. Talking it out with someone new can maybe help you gain more insight and understanding and help you heal. If you've worked with a professional before over this, find someone else. All therapists are not created equal.
You will always have that love and feeling for him - it never has to go away. It also doesn't mean that you can't find love again, and it isn't "cheating" on him to love someone else. Treasure and cherish his memory.
As for your recent marriage, if there are already big issues, plus the concerns of his sexuality, perhaps you made a wrong decision to marry this man. Some questions to ask yourself include do you love this man? Do you want to make this work despite the obstacles you face? There's nothing wrong with admitting you made a mistake, cut your losses and move forward.
I will keep you in my prayers. Best to you.
2006-10-13 18:02:38 · answer #1 · answered by Aunt Gwenna 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I lost my husband in 1995 on Father's Day of all days. We where only 22 1/2 years old. We had a 2 1/2 year old daughter at the time. He was my high school sweetheart. I'm now 33 years old and I miss him just as much now as I did then. I wonder what our life would be like if he had lived. I have dreams that have him in them and I wake up expecting him to be there and when reality sinks in I want to cry. The pain will never leave you. It just less intense at times. I have never remarried. I hope to one day it's just never happened yet. I don't let this get me down though. Don't let this bring you down. You are still alive and have to continue to live. He wouldn't want you grieving forever for him. Just take it one day at a time. If you need someone to talk to just drop me an email. Lhinkle91@yahoo.com. I'm a good listener. Take care.
2006-10-14 01:15:06 · answer #2 · answered by happy_cute_mom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know I can't help you here, but I have thought about what I would do if I ever lost my husband. At this point I don't think I could ever move on. I do believe in soul mates and he is mine, he is my best friend. When trying to move on the only thing I can think of is become friends with someone first, if you can't see this person being your best friend, don't get married. My heart does go out to you, I do still have my husband and can't imagine not having him. I hope your heart does heal at some point in your life.
2006-10-14 00:58:50 · answer #3 · answered by mom of 2 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The hurt doesn't ever go away but it gets easier to deal with over time. You should join a grief support group. A good one can really be helpful. You will be happy again if you allow yourself to be. Spend time with the Lord and in your Bible. If you open your heart to it, you can receive healing. No man will be able to replace your husband, but that doesn't mean there isn't another one out there for you who you will love as much.
2006-10-14 00:55:57 · answer #4 · answered by ammellisa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your husband died in an accident lets say...That feeling that he is alive and your waiting for him will never leave you. There is something about when someone dies in an accident, murder whatever, not an illness where you knew it was going to happen and you were prepared for him to die, there is something in your head that makes you think that somewhere, somehow this person will show up.
What you need to do is pull yourself together, there is someone out there for you, someone, somewhere when you least expect it...My dad was killed in 89 and my mother has still not gotten over it, she will never remarry, she does date and has a life, but dad was her one true love and she rather not get remarried, she misses him....Good luck to you i hope you find happiness....
2006-10-14 01:21:35 · answer #5 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to hear about your loss. I don't think the pain ever leaves, it just gets less intense. It helps to find something or someone that makes you happy. To try to focus on the good times you have and the good times you can still have. Good luck. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
2006-10-14 00:54:34 · answer #6 · answered by serenitynow 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it never does, cherish it.
If you can't find anyone, be happy alone and think of him.
Don't settle on anyone that might be of interest. If you're still mourning, the only guys that will be interested in you are ones that will use you.
Get on with your life but be thankful that something nice once happened, some people never know that.
2006-10-14 00:57:36 · answer #7 · answered by mt_hopper 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You married on the rebound and made a mistake..Common...
You need to try again and be more selective....
2006-10-14 00:53:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it doesn't. However it lessens as you grow to understand and accept it even more.
2006-10-14 00:54:15 · answer #9 · answered by prezidentcuteone 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sadly, no it doesn't.....
if you try and forget the pain, then, you'll be forgetting your husband and all those times you've spent together.
2006-10-14 00:53:57 · answer #10 · answered by awsumrocker 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋