My boyfriend and I have been together for three years. Everything was nice at first. We now have a daughter together. When I was about 9 mos. pregnant we fought and finally broke up. After the baby was born, I wanted to get back together and he did not. He treated me very badly. One day he invited me to live with him, and I did, but one day he would be nice, the next very mean. I left, and after searching for me for five mos. I gave him another chance. One night he confessed that he had been so mean b/c he was not a good person, and admitted to cheating on me several times. I asked him to give me my space, and he has let me live on my own and just visits. Now he has asked me to move in with him, in a town about 45 min. away from my work, and our daughter's school. He wants to live in the town where he is attending college and I will be commuting. I asked him to live in my city, and he will not, b/c the city brings back too many bad memoriesof the way I reacted to his confessions.
2006-10-13 16:54:50 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Yes honey, let go. All you have to say about the relationship is negative.
2006-10-13 16:57:52 · answer #1 · answered by Brainiac 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you've been through a lot!! this is something that you have to answer yourself! Remember, you have a daughter to think about who will learn from you about men!! If you feel like some good will come out the relationship and it's a chance that it can be saved, then go for it! To be honest, it sounds like he wants his cake and ice cream too! He has a lot of issues of his own and he's gonna continue taking his frustrations out on you and that's not fair!!! I know it's gonna be hard, but it sounds like you really want to move on!! When you've done all that you can do, there's nothing left! He needs to deal with his own issues before trying to pursue a relationship with anyone!! If you continue to give in to him, he will continue to walk all over you! A man can only do what you allow him to do!! No need in stressing yourself out and moving away from your job and your daughter's school! He has to face his issues and if he continues to run from them, he'll always be running for the rest of his life!
It's not fair to your daughter either!! After a while, she's gonna start wondering why he lives with her one minute and doesn't the next!! He can't be a part time father or a part time lover!!
It might be best that you just move on!!
2006-10-13 17:07:05 · answer #2 · answered by angellove 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
GOD i should be taking my own advice but here goes...yeah let go of him.. im in a similar situation, its a different feeling when ur significant other is not there to be by ur side when ur pregnant.this is the part where i realized that things will be never be the same. if he cant be there with u while u were pregnant and be there and cherish the moment onto becoming a parent..just think about it, if he cant even be there at that time or even after, what makes you think he'll be there for u in 20-30 or even 50 years...
2006-10-13 17:20:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know it's tough...letting go...when you've been through a lot...together..
But he admitted it...without u asking...maybe...he has really change...
Meet him...midway...tell him...that u can't move to where he is now...due to whatever that you've been through - The thought of being let down or getting hurt again.
Maybe both of you can stay where you are...that way...he would realise that you're a stronger woman. Focus on ur career and ur child...make it that having him around is a bonus. He should not be your priority as this is the price he have to pay for what he did in the past.
I know it's tough to turn him down. But I guess...it's the best...if he really comes often to meet both of you and try to make things work...it's worth a try. U and ur daughter can also meet him on weekends. After he finishes his studies...then...see where things goes from there.
2006-10-13 17:06:26 · answer #4 · answered by Aranel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Compromise...You know while being pregnant women go through psycho stage because that is what being pregnant does to women's minds so maybe you did say some things that really hit him hard and while being away from you he fooled around ....He is only human!!! Now that the baby is here he realizes that he needs to step up to the plate and try to work it out and do the right thing....At least he is trying to be a daddy and not a dead beat daddy.....Work with him...he's your baby's daddy... You owe it to the baby....That baby did not ask for you two to be his parents....You two did....Try to work it out...
2006-10-13 17:06:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anastacia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats a load of crap. it would be easier for him to move closer to. he is selfish and treats you likes crap. wake up, the only reason you are giving him these chances is cos you want you daughter to have a father and you fear if you dont settle for him you wont meet anyone esle. a girls relationship with her father is very important, but in some circumstance no father is better then an abusive one. you seem to do extremely well on your own.
2006-10-13 17:00:17 · answer #6 · answered by marcvialli 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
then he wants you for convenience. he doesnt really love you nor want to be with you. ging back to him will only let him no he can still treat you the way he has in the past. if things are fine keep them as they are. think about your daughter yes having her dad there would be nice and as parents we want the best for our kids but if he keeps doing this to you your daughter will grow up thinking its ok for a man to do it to her. good luck hun...
2006-10-13 17:01:15 · answer #7 · answered by evilella 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would let him go because if you cannot live your life as a yo-yo. And your child would benefit more if her parents got along than if they fought and argued all the time. And it seems to me you two are better of living apart.
2006-10-13 16:59:25 · answer #8 · answered by cheerstoyou 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesnt love you or he wouldnt do that crap to you! He doesnt want you ....but, he doesnt want anyone else to have you either. Move on and find someone who really does love you...he is out there somewhere....dont stay with the *** for the child's sake....it really doesnt benefit her to be in that environment. He sounds like a big JERK! Count your blessing and kick him to the curb.
2006-10-13 17:02:02 · answer #9 · answered by Kimberly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ONLY YOU CAN REALLY ANSWER THAT QUESTION, YOU
AND HE HAVE A DAUGHTER SO THAT YOUR FIRST CONCERN IS HER WELL BEING, AS FOR BOTH OF YOU
IT REALLY SOUND LIKE BOTH OF YOU NEED TO TALK
TO EACH OTHER ABOUT WHAT YOU REALLY WANT IN
THIS REALTIONSHIP THIS BACK AND FORTH IS NOT GOOD
FOR THE CHILD AND YOU. SO DONT DO SOMETHING THAT
YOU WILL REGRET DOWN THE ROAD.
2006-10-13 17:00:57 · answer #10 · answered by luckystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋