While waiting at the busstop the past weeks I have came accross two guys that have started talking to me and they both were kinda hitting on me asking if I'm single and all. I told them that I already had someone although I don't because I am definetly not interested in either of them , one is kinda chubby, has alot of kids, and drinks and stuff and not my type at all, don't think he works either, the other is an odd older guy who tells me about all the medicines he is taking and coughs alot. I dont mind chatting with them in a friendly matter but I feel uncomfortable running into them every now and then on the bus or at the stop. You never know how a stranger is going to react when you turn them down and especially when they know where you live (the general area) so I don't want to be mean or provoke them to think I'm stuck up but I just really am not looking to be picked up on the bus. I have to ride the bus everyday, no way around it.
2006-10-13 15:00:18 · 11 answers · asked by reallyfedup 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
Given that these men are exploiting an involuntary encounter even after you have told them you're not interested, you don't owe them politeness, but you're wise to avoid publicly embarassing them. As you say, you do not know how strangers will react to unwelcome news.
Perhaps the best thing to say is exactly what you said: "I don't have a problem with you as a person, but I just really am not looking to be picked up on the bus. I have to ride the bus everyday, no way around it. I have to ask you to think about that."
Anyone other than a psycho would get the message and go out of their way never to "corner" you again. If you were still uncomfortable you could add "Look, I may have been unclear, but I don't think it's fair for someone obviously looking for a date to keep trying to probe about my personal life, after I've already said no. If you did that to someone else I would try to distract you to protect her, I hope you don't do that to other people."
Use the pronoun "I" a lot, it's a great way to keep it clear that there is no "we" and that his own feelings are of no interest to you.
Of course do that when no one else can hear.
I think the odd older guy is just lonely, so maybe you can be gentler and ask him a few questions like whether he's infectious, until he gets the message that talking about these things is not making him any friends.
Your question is very different from what it seems to be from the title so I'll answer the question I thought it was, also, for benefit of those who are reading this to find out how to discourage friends from getting romantic.
If these were actually friends of yours, I'd say the politest way is to set him up with your other friends and/or ask what he thinks of HER and HER and so on until he starts to realize there are other fish in the sea.
He'll realize that you would be a much better friend and romantic helper if he was dating someone else. Insert subtle comments that indicate how incompatible you are with him, but how compatible he might be with...
Also go out to public places with him and send strong signals that the guy is available, like slightly-loudly mentioning your own boyfriend or asking him how his last date went. If he's at all attractive or sensitive, this will automatically generate attention from all eligible women nearby. If you doubt it, go look up "wing chick".
Finally, if absolutely desperate, take him shopping for some new clothes.
And no, I am not making up any of this, exes of mine did all those things for me. Though there was no confusion or crossed signals, it is often fun for friends (exes and otherwise, and if you have no exes as friends after the age of 30 YOU ARE A LOSER) to flirt and play and go on Amazing Race to be reminded of why you broke up.
And try to remember that, if you have no kids, 99% of the time you are doing things with your romantic partner that you could do with someone else also. If your husband gets jealous because you want to play tennis with another guy, or learn to tango with a professional instructor, you've got a problem.
OK I am way beyond your question now.
2006-10-13 15:45:12 · answer #1 · answered by craighubleyca 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may be misreading these guys. They may just be friendly. Be friendly back but ignore anything they say that you think is TOO friendly. If someone asks you for a date, and you aren't interested, that time enough to wonder what to say! As of right now, you don't even know that they are that interested in you.
2016-03-28 08:19:17 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"I'm not interested."
That's what you say. Exactly that. That's the most polite way you can tell a man.
A man doesn't want you to soften the blow, so much as he wants an honest, straight-forward answer. Just tell them, in a pleasent tone, that you're not interested, and it's as simple as that.
2006-10-13 15:03:14 · answer #3 · answered by extton 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them that you just want to be friends. Guys hate that but are not hurt and should get the point.
2006-10-13 15:03:00 · answer #4 · answered by tomleah_06 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
TAKE THE BUS ONE HOUR BEFORE TO TRY TO AVOID THEM...WEIRDOS
OR HAVE YOU MAN GO ON THE BUS WITH YOU FOR A FEW RIDES!
2006-10-13 15:05:56 · answer #5 · answered by areyoureadyb? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just do not talk to them. Talk as less to them as possible. Avoid them, if possible. They'll eventually catch the drift. I hope. Good luck.
2006-10-13 15:43:42 · answer #6 · answered by genine_s 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Say you're dating somebody already or that you're a lesbian. Or just you seem like really nice guys, but I'm just not interested.
2006-10-13 15:09:41 · answer #7 · answered by inquiringmind 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you likehim just say, "look, I'm not interested in a relationship with you. Your nice, but I'm not interested.
Or.
If you don't like him, "***** off, Di_ckhead"
2006-10-13 15:05:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell them you recently met someone really special. they will give them the clue.
2006-10-13 15:02:28 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell the chubby one that he is a ****** porker, and bite the other one's dick off.
2006-10-13 15:04:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋