I have been married for 5yrs and I have 3kids. but lately I have found myself day dreaming about another man. A man I have not seen in 3yrs. Is it ok?
2006-10-13 14:55:36 · 35 answers · asked by cc 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have been married for 5yrs and I have 3 kids. lately I have found my self daydreaming about a man I knew 3yrs ago. I would never acted on it!
2006-10-13 15:05:59 · update #1
Its ok to let your mind wander there on occassion, but it probably indicates a lack of fulfillment in your marriage. Try to reconnect with your husband.
2006-10-13 14:58:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Okay don't listen to those other crazy answers first of all. It is only natural of human kind to sometimes explore our wants and desires or fantasies through dreaming. Its called a release dream, which can be any where from a fight to sex in the dream. Were you more at ease after these dreams as if you kind of got something out of your system? Just because you dream of being with someone else does not mean you are guilty or wrong. This is more common than you think. I am a lesbian and I tend to dream about men sometimes but does not mean I will go be wiyh one. Ihave an awesome dream book you should chck out that may give you some more clarity about dreams.
2016-03-18 09:21:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are probably getting a little bored with your husband. You need to learn how to spice up that marriage and get things back on track. You should try to find a babysitter you can trust to watch your children while you and your husband go out. It is very healthy to still go on dates when you are married. You should date at least twice a month. You should talk to your husband about the good times when you first met and fell in love. We tend to forget those things after being married for awhile. You should find that special spot where you two went and had a lot of fun and return to that spot rather it be a special place you both ate at or a picnic you had and act it out just like you did when you first met. Hopefully that will get your mind off the other man. We tend to also think the grass is greener on the other side and usually it is just dried up and brittle.
2006-10-13 16:14:21 · answer #3 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do not panic, I have the same experience than you. I have been married for 2 years and have one kid. I've been having these weird dreams with a guy that I used to have a crash on. I feel really bad, cause I love my husband very much, But I do not have control over my dreams, I don't know why?? I have been dreaming with this guy I haven't seen in 5 years..
I think it may happens because they remember about us and so it is transmitted through our dreams. I read that in a book.
I honestly don't know what to believe, I just know that these dreams disturb my mind (subconscious)
I wish i could stop dreaming with this person.
I hope your dream isn't disturbing as mine.
LUCK!
2006-10-13 15:28:18 · answer #4 · answered by moon light 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's ok if you have the willpower to control it. I didn't. I had dreams about this man, he sensed it, made his move and we had a turbulent affair. Problem is, i'm married with two kids and so is he. My dreams started when my marriage hit the brickwall but now, my hubby is trying to make it work but I am in a dilemma because I have fallen in love with the man i dreamt and eventually had an affair with. However life is never what it seems. My lover is having a tough time deciding whether he wants our affair to be on or off and it's driving me insanes. So, wise up and focus your imagination on your husband. :-)
2006-10-13 16:13:28 · answer #5 · answered by angelheart 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes, it's okay. remember dreams shouldn't (always) be taken at face value. the other man represents a concept and the things you do with him in your dream also have their owning meaning. I think it's very rare that our minds give us dreams that are supposed to be taken literally. how about this? 5yr marriage and three kids? you're busy in the wife/mother role and need to take some time for yourself. don't forget who you are and who you were before all this happened. it doesn't necessarily mean deep down you want to have an affair. what does this man represent to you? are you living your life to the fullest now? dreams are fun but don't get freaked out. enjoy them and let them teach you about yourself.
2006-10-13 16:17:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The more important question is what is going on in your partnership that brings your attention to the other man? It is important for you to address this and find help with your partner to heal and fill as much as you can with your husband. Life is tough and with three children, and the responsibilities, your life with the other man may feel a little more attractive in your mind.
It is not a matter of ok or not ok.
It is important for you to see the value in your marriage, honor it and recognize that it will take effort to rekindle passion and romance to make it work and then exercise all you can to do it.
If you can't, you may be seeking a way out and there may be something wrong with your relationship. Only you know. Follow your heart. Seek professional help if it can keep your marriage solid, or ask: Am I abuntantly unhappy with this man?
Follow your heart, dear.
2006-10-13 15:14:47 · answer #7 · answered by Serendipity 3 · 3⤊ 2⤋
I think it is only human that thoughts like that pop up during marriage.
As for myself though I dont let myself linger much on thoughts like that. I feel that it is imy responsiblity as a wife that I under took when I said my vows.
I think it also matters on how seriously you take these daydreams. I think of like, johnny Depp once in a while but I know that even if he came to me, all decked out as captain jack, I would still turn my back and go to my hubby.
Maybe it is a symptom of a problem in your marriage? Maybe you need to spend a couple minutes a day remembering why you married your husband and why you think he is great. Maybe you can do some "womens math"; you can think about how great your hubby is for 5 minutes and allow yourself to daydream for 1. Lol.
Goodluck!
2006-10-13 15:04:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think the word you need to focus on is "obsessing". Having a fantasy play through your head is about as O.K. as watching a soup opera. No big thing. However, do you play that fantasy over and over and over? After a while your husband won't measure up, no one will measure up. A fantasy guy wins all the time because they don't exist! I bet there are books on this subject at the local library (free books). Go check one out.
2006-10-13 15:14:33 · answer #9 · answered by delux_version 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sure why not. Men do it all the time. As long as it doesn't interfere with your real life relationship it should be ok. An escape from reality is good now and then. Besides I think most of us think back on what might have been and with who now and then.
2006-10-13 15:01:48 · answer #10 · answered by Vida 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe not totally ok but definitely human. Don't beat yourself up just try to be a bit more tolerant of your husbands faults, I bet you have a few he has discovered in those 5 years too.
2006-10-13 14:58:57 · answer #11 · answered by sosueme534 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋