I don't know what to do?

Question

I have been with my husband for 10 years. He is a very selfish person. It seems like he never wants to be around me. When he is he acts bored. He has been stealing from me. He takes money out of my purse and when I ask if he did he denies it. He never wants to have sex. Two days ago he left to go to Wal-Mart at 9:30 to buy dog food and didn't come back until 2AM. I gave him money to pay our landlord for our gas bill and he said he paid him. He even said that the landlord and him talked about his new house and gave him a tour of it. Yesterday the landlord came and asked if I had the money for the gas bill. I asked him if my husband came over to pay him and he said he had never been there. I don't know what to do. I left my husband four years ago for an entire year before we got back together. He changed for a long time but is back to the way he was. The separation was very hard on our child. I don't want her to go through that again. I am really unhappy.

Answer 1

You gave your husband a chance and he went right back to his old ways. This should tell you he has not really changed at all. If you can't trust him are you really happy with him? Your daughter will survive if you get a divorce from him. As long as your daughter has your love and support she will do just fine. Don't you think you deserve some happiness of your own? Good luck to you. ;o)

Answer 2

It sounds like he may have some type of drug addiction. If he doesn't then he most likely spent that money on another woman. Your child will not be better to see you unhappy, if it is a girl you do not want to teach her that this is what marriage is about and that it's ok for a man to treat her this way. Because she definitely sees it. You need to leave and never look back, if you keep taking his sorry self back it will only confuse your child further. The best thing for your child is for you to be happy and living your life well.

Answer 3

He will not change. It will be okay for a few months when he cries you into coming back to him, but as soon as routine sets in again he will be up to the same old tricks.
Drop this loser like a hot rock. Learn to expect more from the people you give your heart to. There is nothing easy about starting over, but you would definitely be well advised to do so.
I don't know about you, but a 9:30 to 2 AM absence would be ringing all sorts of bells and whistles for me.
A liar and thief deserves no input into your daughter's life. It is better if she is not around this sort of influence all the time anyway.
Get out of there and don't go back. It won't improve, he won't change.
Good luck

Answer 4

Sad to hear story but I think you have actually done something that made him feel bad, that is you left him for a year. However coz of your kids both of you get back together again.
Sometimes it is better to let your kids know the truth why you wanted to be separated from your husband and not keep it from her. No doubt you want the best for her but as time goes by your kid is able to sense the problem in the family and that may affect the development of your kids.
To me by going back to your husband is not a wise move coz your husband may think that you can't survive without him. Think carefully what you want for your kids and your future. Bearing in mind that what you want determines what you should do in this relationship

Answer 5

To feel the way you feel is very upsetting.. You should have stayed away when you initially left.. But now that you are back in the same boat, I would someone gather your strength, get a few friends (ONE good is more than enough) who will help you think straight. Speak to a professional. Trust me, when you are miserable, your child feels it 100%. Child is better off with one caring, stable and present parent instead of two, one who doesnt seem to care much, is a thief and disappears. I know its hard, I know you must feel like its the end of world but ITS NOT. Be strong.. There is a HUGE support out there for you.. Look for it and LEAVE.. or THROW HIM OUT...

Answer 6

If you belong to a church, go talk to your pastor and seek spiritual counsel.
If not, you have to protect yourself and your child, making sure you have a roof over your head, bills payed, food for your child etc. and it sounds like he is doing drugs. From what you're saying he is showing all the signs, and if you're not sure of the signs, stop by one of those drug rehab centers and talk to someone, they can help you understand better what you're dealing with. And as far as your child, what would hurt more, her watching what's happening seeing things get worst or you two moving on and let him deal with whatever he is dealing with. Children are smart, they see what's going go. people don't give kids enough credit. If your daughter is old enough talk to her, see how she feels, then make your decision.

Answer 7

Get away and stay away from him. In the long run, it would be harder for your child to deal with a bad father than you getting away from him. You deserve better hun, and you know it. Just get away. If he still wants to be part of your child's life then fine, but make sure your child is okay with it and everything is set up. Good luck and God bless!

Answer 8

Your child will survive. Couldn't be good for her to see you so unhappy. When and if you leave this time make it permanent. You really should do something though, you sound like a more deserving person than what your getting in him.

Answer 9

It seems that it's time to move on. This man does not care for you, love or respect you. Pack your bags and move out. It'll be the best decision you've made in a long time.

Answer 10

just sit down and talk to the both of them. ask your husband if he could change his ways, and if he says no say well then i don't know if this relationship is going to last. tell your child how he has been acting and hopefully she would understand.