Do You Regret Having Premarital Sex?

Question

This question is sort of directed at married folk, but feel free to answer even if you're not. People say you should save yourself for marriage because when you have sex you lose a part of yourself. Is this true? Does anyone in a loving marriage now regret having sex with someone else before their marriage? Or is saving yourself for marriage more like buying a car without test driving it first? I have a pretty strong opinion on this myself, but I'm not married, nor have I had sex, and I was curious if there is any truth to what people say about the sacredness of sex.

Answer 1

Depends on your own belief system. If you feel very strongly about saving yourself until you get married, then I believe that would be the right decision you should make. If your partner respected you, he would respect your wishes. If he truly loves you, he will wait until you are ready. Sex is not the relationship.

If you feel you will regret having sex before marriage, the answer is don't. Because I believe if you feel that way now, you will this way later. This feeling may even compound with other issues in your life down the road, & could contribute to a whole range health conditions. These could include depression (possibly created in part by feelings of low self-worth &/or self-esteem).

Never do anything you don't want to do. Don't base your life on what someone else thinks, did or hasn't done. It is up to you.

We all have only one life. It is short but it is our own.

My only advice is to enjoy everyday of your life. Make decisions you feel comfortable with. Don't let anyone make you do things you don't want them to do. Choice is up to you to make.

All the best.

Answer 2

No regrets.

The fact of the matter is, people need to be able to get out and test the waters with however many individuals as they see fit (safely, of course). It's human nature to experiment and we are designed to begin desiring sex as adolescents however it would be ridiculous to say that two adolescents could marry and be satisfied with that for the rest of their lives. To go against human nature seems somewhat silly.

Saving yourself for one person is perfectly acceptable if that is what is dictated by your religion, but in my opinion that is not only cheating yourself but potentially cheating your future spouse as well because the day will come when the honeymoon phase is over and you begin to wonder what else is out there. If you don't already know what else is out there you will be all the more inclined to find out.

Sex is sacred, but no more so than marriage. I think the idea is that premarital sex leaves people more open to having affairs because they know what else they COULD be having. Personally (see above paragraph) I think it would logically be the other way around. Ask anyone who looks back over their sexual history and ask them if they enjoyed their first lover the most. Most of those people will tell you no. Sex is a learning process just like anything else. The more you do it, the better you get at it. Having the best to offer to a spouse is a good thing, not a bad one. Otherwise you're just two clusmy inexperienced people fumbling around in the dark and disappointing each other.

Answer 3

I think it's awesome that your thinking so seriously about sex. I'm not sure how old you are, but I'm guessing your a teenager. when I was a teen there was so much pressure from peers to have sex and a lot from my boyfriends. I ended up having sex at 15 I wasn't ready and I wish I waited. as soon as I had sex the first time I stopped thinking it was special and I had sex with every boyfriend I had after that just because it felt so good. but having sex so young and so often was dangerous. I'm so lucky I didn't get pregnant with a child whose father I didn't love! that would have been really bad for me and the child. I wish I would have waited until I was in my later teens or even until I met my husband when I was 20. We married when I was 22 and he was 26 and 3 years later we're very happy and in love and the sex is great. I don't think anything is ruined with my marriage because I had sex with other men before my husband but I do kinda wish I waited for him. It probably would feel more special if it was something we have only ever done with each other, but it didn't happen that way. if that's what you want, you stick to it girl! save it for marriage if that's what you want and don't let any boy make you change your mind!!!!

good luck and keep up the good work :)

Answer 4

I had premarital sex, but only right before I got married and with my husband (I was also 26). So I have only had sex with my husband. I fooled around a good bit with a college boyfriend and regret that, as sometimes is has come back in dreams, etc.

I agree with the person who said it is spiritual. It is. It is a bond and a connection. Not to mention STDs and all that stuff. ICK.

Answer 5

Premarital sex is a great idea and it would be great if it really could work out that way, but if a marriage doesn't work out in the bedroom, it's not going to work. My best friend is a devout Christian and waited to have sex until after they were married. Now, he wants it all the time and she hardly ever wants it and is only into the missionary position, and he is totally miserable. Although he doesn't believe in divorcing her, he really wishes he hadn't married her now, because he waited all his life to do it the "right" way. If you do wait, make sure you and the person you plan on marrying have a VERY specific talk about what your expectations are about sex in your marriage BEFORE you get married.

Answer 6

I just celebrated 6 years of marriage. My husband and I got pregnant before we got married. We were discussing marriage at the time at some time in the future and pregnancy just kinda put a rush on it. Do I believe that its wrong to have premarital sex and that we sinned by doing so, yes. But I have no regrets at this point, because we made things right, and we have a wonderful marriage that I expect will last for the rest of our lives. Our daughter is almost 6, and I wouldn't trade her for the world. Still, I encourage all to wait just because I believe that apart from my so called "religious beliefs", I think that "free sex" is just wrong. Why would you want to give such a huge part of yourself to someone that you are not absolutely sure you want to spend the rest of your life with, and who feels the same about you. We should value ourselves and our bodies more than that.

Answer 7

There was no stopping it, I had it with the one I married. I didn't exactly regret it, I knew how the sex was going to be, but, I felt a little guilty because of my religious background and hearing at church that it is better to wait, etc. I am divorced now (another church no-no but to survive I had to) but I think if another man comes along that I feel I might be marrying, I would be inclined to have premarital sex again since I have crossed that line before and I think it is best to know how sex is going to be with the one you love. By trying it out ahead of time you can see how compatible you are together.

Answer 8

Yes in many ways I regret that I did have premarital sex with women who were not my intended bride. My flesh was weak and I was not living in a Christ like life at the time. I was living in a carnal mind only thinking about that which would pleasure me. It got me into trouble a few times. Nothing too serious mind you but close enough. If I was living a Christ like life then I would have done better at a few things.

Answer 9

Yes, and I waited a long time.

You should know this. When I was a freshman in college, I remember sitting around the dorm and girls crying about how they regretted having had sex with their high school boyfriends. They all regretted it. It is one of the reasons I waited so long.

I don't think it would have mattered to my husband, though, one way or the other.

Good question.

Answer 10

I personally regret it alot. Why? because the problem with sex is that when ever you make love or lust to someone you become one in the act. Therefore there is an eternal image in your soul of the person because you made a pact. Having sex is a pact between two people. That is why woman bleed the first time because whenever there is a pact there is the shedding of blood.
I get this from the bible and hope im helping you. That is why sometimes i used to make love to my wife and think of someone else. The image was in me and it took alot of years and effort to get rid of it. There are good books on that situation and you may find it under the subject of SOUL TIES. If you can keep yourself clean then you are bless and a blessing unto your spouse. Bringing your body clean into your marriage maybe one of the greatest gift you can give your husband/wife. Pass it on to your kids they will love you for it. Keep your self clean and enjoy life.