I'm pretty happy in my 7yr marraige but I'm UNhappy with our sex life. I feel he's selfish and have tried to talk to him about giving me more attention, but he says he doesn't know what to do for me. I've given him some pointers, but they don't help too much. We've talked about it in the past (while fighting and also in a calm open discussion), but I'm still always left hanging. Sessions only last about 15min INCLUDING foreplay, and it's mostly ME helping HIM out. It's been so bad that one time, he finished w/o even entering me and I wasn't even wet yet; I actaully went crazy (sorry if it's too much info) I still want it, but I know going into it that I'm going to be unsatisfied, making me bitter. I get wet very easily just flirting with a guy in school, but it's real work to get myself ready when I'm with my husband. He works nights and we have children, so time is limited. Honestly, I just don't think he CARES about my satisfaction. I've had 1 orgasm in my life, while high
2006-10-13 14:19:57 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
my husband works the graveyard shift also
and we as well have 2 kids and some times 3 (broken family)
but w/ stress & little time to have R fun it is hard
but have him go down on you before he gets his
and dont get him off b 4 u get wet or have yours
buy a small rocket vibrator and use it when he is doing you
or rub ur SPOT during the deed it should help
try to watch porn w/ out him be for u 2 get involved
next time
sorry i feel 4 you
2006-10-13 14:30:11 · answer #1 · answered by ez-goin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not alone. Many women go through this. I think that you should not be sensitive to the situation. Part sex is suppose to be about the compassion and love. If he is not showing you that, then cut him off. Yes, I said off. He will give in. If not, you might want to check in to something else. Let him know that you are not satisfied and this is not working. 2nd scenario---Men are so sensitive when it comes to their performance! He may not be able to go as long as you need him to. But to admit that would be taking away from his manly-hood(in his head) . If you cant figure out how to fix this together with communication than I would suggest seeking a therapist. Also keep in mind that stress may be a part of your problem.
2006-10-13 14:36:07 · answer #2 · answered by ginajimmy22 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My ex husband was like that, very un-giving in every aspect of our relationship. Fortunately my current husband and I are VERY compatible!
Why don't you just cut him off? Withhold sex, he should get the message. I know you'll get frustrated but you are already resentful, aren't you? I know I would get so upset because my ex only cared about his own pleasure and it made me feel very low. Also he should WANT to satisfy you and make you feel good, that's a big part of sex, too, GIVING not just getting.
And you should be very plain about it. When he wants sex, reject him and tell him EXACTLY why you won't. TELL HIM that it's making you angry that he doesn't put any effort into making YOU feel good so there's just no point in you participating.
I mean, the sex isn't pleasing to you and it only makes you feel anger towards him, so you actually have more reasons NOT to have sex than to have it.
2006-10-13 14:33:05 · answer #3 · answered by mamabunny 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For one you need to start masterbating. You need to be able to make yourself come before your going to have any easy time letting your guard down and letting it happen with someone else. I would look into getting some toys, you might involve your husband in the process you may find it gets him intersted in pleasuring you. I would also suggest taking a more incontrol role sexually and by this I mean you try and make some decisons about when sex occurs. I'd also suggest seeing a sex counselor if things don't change soon....best wishes on getting it.
2006-10-13 14:26:02 · answer #4 · answered by BOISE_DD 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is the PORN! It is not your fault beleive me I know my old man used to call sex chat and look at porn all the time and i did not even know.You need to tell him to stop porn NOW! You know he is whacking off without you and your just not as good as his fantasy and his hand.He is lazy and he is hurting you.Demand it stop or else leave him.He is being a selfish porn addicted prick.Its not you honey I promise.No one can compare to their fantasy and your killing yourself trying.Looking back had I known then in 1997 what I know now.I would just have left my husband and been done.They are selfish. They put you through hell.Am I too fat ? Is it my breasts ,Maybe I look too old.PORN exsploits women okay.I know you are open minded >I used to be too till I read the life story of Sharon Marshall a little 5 year old girl who was kidnapped by a pedaphile raised by him , forced to do porn,forced to get breast implants ,Forced too work in strip clubs from 17 to 24 and finally murdered I will never be opened minded about porn again.You know why they smile and act like they like it? Because if they do not make enough money they will get the crap beat out of them by their owner/pimp/father/boyfreind.This is reality and only one person at a time can become informed and choose to turn the crap off it might help at least knowing that your not contributing to the exsploitation of these women.They are somebodys daughters/sisters.
2016-05-22 00:05:48 · answer #5 · answered by Greta 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you need to find out why he doesn't take care of you. Maybe it's in his head.. he's scared for some reason. Or worse yet, he hasn't been able to come out of the closet but wants too? I hope for your sake he is just scared, together by talking calmly, let him know that no matter the out come you will always love him and understand him, but to understand him he has to tell you what is wrong.
Good luck!
2006-10-13 14:25:47 · answer #6 · answered by wibiggurl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you're talking about shorty macapee. In which case I feel sorry for you. Go right ahead and get it somewhere else. It's obvious that Shorty prefers men, or little boys.
2006-10-13 14:27:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well why not u and him see a therapist that can maybe help u w/ur needs or have him see one to see why he's not sexually interested anymore... or try to get rid of the kids on days that u have off and dedicate urselves to each other...
2006-10-13 14:23:00 · answer #8 · answered by Queen D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
obviously if you get wet talking to other men, and nothing after giving your husband oral, you have something to do with your own problem. your husband does not excite you anymore, maybe you and your husband need to talk about spicing things up, like toys, porn, swinging, role playing,...etc....
2006-10-13 14:31:28 · answer #9 · answered by mike_14213 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since he's not worried about you, ignore him when he's in need. In the meantime, get yourself a good vibrator, and you'll be just fine. Maybe he'll get the point and try harder.
2006-10-13 14:23:02 · answer #10 · answered by bezsenný 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋