too much pressure?

Question

I have a 13 year old daughter, she plays soccer, volleyball, piano, and ballet, ballet was her only choice, my husband and I heard that children that study music and play sports, are more intelligent and grow to be more successful than other children and i want the best for her, I often have scruples that I am pushing my daughter too much under pressure? what do you think?

Answer 1

Let her be the Ballerina she wants to be. Quit dragging her to the rest of the crap you pressure her into doing. Let her do what she enjoys. Geez, no wonder why kids are so screwed up today. You probably drive a mini van with a vinyl soccer ball on the back and "My child is an honor student" bumper sticker and hang out on the playground and embarrass her. Your scruples are you living YOUR life through your kid. Let her choose her interests herself.
Besides... there is music, exercise and art in ballet.

Answer 2

I wish kids came with instruction booklets, written in easy to read language. My daughter, she's 21 and married, talk a long time last night on the phone, she and I differ in how long I let her believe in Santa Claus. My son is 16 going on 30 in the looks dept. and behaves like a 8 year old sometimes. Where is the warranties, the booklets, we parents need help here!

Your precious daughter is 13, I think you should talk to her. We want so much for our children, we forget to ask them what they want. She may enjoy all the activities, or she maybe doing them to please you and your husband. Sometimes too much is a bad thing. My daughter is extremely smart(don't know who gets it from) she's going to college on full schlorships she is so bright, but she wants dumb kids. Because the teachers and even the principal put so much pressure on her to excel that she didn't enjoy school till college. That's sad, I didn't know they were putting her on show, like some circus act. I did pull her out of several advanced classes, and extra clubs that she was in, because "When a teacher tells a student that gets 103 on a test, that she could have made 105, if she had paid close attention to it while hollering, and saying she was stupid, and how was she going to expect to place in the state competition." it was time for a change. And I changed it.

Talk to your daughter, let it be a family meeting between all 3 of you. Discuss what she wants to, what she enjoys, she may not want to change a thing, or she may want to just drop one thing. The kids have so many choices to choose from today, and we as parent that truly love our children push I think a little to hard. I did..especially about Santa Claus...


God bless us all......

ps..if you lay your hands on a instuction book, let me know, I may have goofed up with the kids, but one day I will have some grandbabies...

Answer 3

By the age of 13 she should be able to select what sports or lessons she wants to keep. As a teacher I see too many children who are too busy to enjoy their teenage years. They are busy like you daughter. I have also seen them have a minor "break-down" at athletic events because they feel too much pressure to excel in sports, music, art, and school.

How about letting her choose one sport and one art/music? She will still be involve with things, but not over whelmed by all of the activities. This will also allow her time to develop a social life.

Answer 4

Ok..question for 'you'. Does your daughter "like" the soccor, volleyball, and piano ??? If she doesn't like any of them, then chances are, she is being 'pushed'. But if this IS the case....just let her 'back off' on a few of the other things, and take her 'time' with the one that she 'does' like. If she is 'pushed'...chances are, that they wont make her 'smarter', but in the long run, will make her "withdrawl" from wanting to do those things. Your hearts in the right place... but.... find out if she is enjoying the other things, as well as the ballet.

Answer 5

Is she doing well? If so then shes not under to much pressure,,, I think people say that because they wish they would do that much for their kids.... seriously... if shes going strong like that now can you imagine what her college resume is going to look like?? Shes going to be able to pick what school she wants to go to.. Dont let other people tell you your doing wrong,, wouldnt you rather her stay busy like this then out wandering with other kids that dont have anything else to do too... next thing you know your daughters having sex with guys in the guys rooms... or shes doing drugs or what else kids can get into,,, this day and age KEEP HER BUSY! Keep her focused!!