Is holding a 2 month old baby all the time going to spoil the child? It's hard to just leave your baby crying and unhappy, so it's tempting to hold and cuddle. My baby's pediatrician says you can't spoil a child until after 5-6 month, but my husband disagrees. Your thoughts?
2006-10-13 13:30:09 · 42 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
It's tempting to hold and cuddle because nature designed it that way. Your child needs your holding and cuddling.
What does your husband base his opinion on?
Does he know how baby's brain cells form connections? A baby's brain literally comes to life and full functioning through the connection of brain cells - and do you know that there is only one way the connections are made? By being held. Ask your husband to picture, or visit at the zoo, gorillas, chimps, oran utans - our very close relatives. The mothers in these species never put their babies down and our babies evolved to need the same care for optimal development.
Did you know baby's are born at 9 months because they couldn't get out any later due to the size of their brain?
In a way, our babies our like kangaroos - not fully developed when born, so they need to be in their mother's arms, nursing, for months and months after birth. That should be the basic experience of a young baby - being held, nursing, cooing, sleeping. Mommy should be interactive with her child when he/she is awake - make eye contact, respect when the child turns her head away that she might want her space, repeat the sounds she makes, talk in long complicated sentences to her when she's listening, shut up when she's not.
The great part about really being there for your baby when she is from birth to age 3 - 5, is that he/she will be pleasant, happy, curious, smart, wanting to please you (don't ever hit this child, please!)
Treat your child in such a way that denies her needs and you will have an unhappy, less intelligent than he coulda been, less healthy than he coulda been, harder to discipline than he coulda been child. Why do that to yourself? You won't enjoy being a parent as much and your kid will have a tougher time in life.
Lay down a good foundation and you will reap wonderful results and enjoy being parents.
2006-10-13 15:44:57 · answer #1 · answered by t jefferson 3 · 4⤊ 1⤋
No you can't spoil your child. This is the time when your first bond with your child will form. And the baby wants to know that you will be there for em. When they cry if you ignore them they learn not to trust you. It's a very important thing at this age. You will not be spoiling your child one bit. Love is never spoiling. Attention is never wrong at any age as long as it's the right kind. A child can never get too much love. Hold that baby and love that baby as much as you want forget what your husband says. He's probably jealous of all the attention the baby is getting. But your baby is only going to be that little for so long and if you don't get in the cuddles now you will regret it later.
2006-10-13 14:15:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
They're babies such a short time. Cherish every moment.
At that age, babies can't see very far away from their faces, and have no concept of "object permanance". Which means if the baby can't see you, it has no idea you are still there, still caring for it, and not in any danger.
I look at it like this. Imagine being left alone in a dark room, tied to a chair (babies can't move around much), with a gag in your mouth (babies only have one noise to make, crying), and you have to let people know where you are, that you are cold, hungry and need to use the bathroom. So you make the only noise you are capable of, and the people who would be your rescuers, hearing your crys, decide you are faking, spoiled and need to wait until they decide to come get you.
That is a fair comparison to what infants experience.
Not only can't you spoil a baby, it's not fair to ignore the only sound babies are capable of making.
Just my opinion.
2006-10-13 13:48:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 1⤋
I'm a childcare working and I have my Early childhood education diploma. In my professional opinion and with my hands on experience over the years I can grantee you at such a young age it is imposable to spoil a baby. spoiling in my opinion means giving a child or person more then they need to the point of them acting up if they don't get it. a baby as young as 2 months or even 8 months is to young to think things over that much. all your baby is thinking is my tummy hurts or I'm cold or hot or tired or in pain or hungry and even those thoughts are more simplex then how we'd think them. your baby isn't thinking "hehehe" I'm going to cry so mom will pick me up because I never want to be put down again and I'm going to do this forever hehehe" . he's just a baby. Your child needs to feel comforted and save in this world. he's very new to it. be there for your son as much as you can and don't worry about spoiling. you'll have to think of that far to much when he is 2 and 3 and 4 and a TEENAGER ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh... lol. enjoy your baby while he is a baby and let him enjoy you!
2006-10-13 15:04:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
"hes a 17 365 days old boy devoid of babies...." there is your answer. he's ignorant, of course. a toddler would not in basic terms prefer food, water, and a diaper replace. that's lots extra complicated than that. they like love, they must be held, they like the risk-free practices of their momma's hands. and how in the international does an toddler comprehend the thank you to manage a parent? i discover that absurd. they have not got the potential to renowned how that works yet! i for my area do not think of you may ruin a toddler in any respect, no rely their age. i've got held and cuddled my 11 month old every time he's needed it and he's something yet spoiled. properly enjoyed? sure. shield? genuinely. And he's extremely self sustaining now, too.
2016-10-16 04:17:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a parent Ive found that holding a child until they are past 5 months is not spoiling the child , but creating a great bond with the child..My children are always hugging and kissing me because of such holdings
2006-10-13 13:41:00 · answer #6 · answered by sinclairbratovich 1 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I was told through my parenting mentor that it is impossible for you to spoil a child before age 1. If you child is crying it has a need it wants met. So pick it up and hold it. It makes it feel secure and know that it is love. It also helps to create that bond between mother and child because she/he knows they are safe. No such thing! Love your baby and do what you feel is best. If you do decide to let him/her cry longer then 10 minutes and they are still crying you know something is wrong. And theres a need he/she needs met!! And that need might just be he/she is bored and wants your love and affection. Good Luck.
2006-10-13 14:10:13 · answer #7 · answered by Christa Joy 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Its impossible to spoil a baby. Responding to the baby reassures him that you are always there for him while ignoring him (like your husband suggests) tells him exactly the opposite. You want your baby to know that you will always be there for them!
I agree with your pediatrician, although I think the timeframe is more like after the first year than just 6 months. Also, if I had to choose between listening to my pediatrician who is familiar with studies on these matters, and listening to your husband who is qualified because he thinks he knows something from ???, I'd listen to my pediatrician.
2006-10-13 13:38:24 · answer #8 · answered by thehiddenangle 3 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Can you spoil a Baby, you ask? I am a firm believer that it is true My youngest daughter had a baby boy who was born with cleft/lip palate disease, and he has had two operations in his upper palatal and his lip. My daughter was hurting more then the Baby during his operations that she could not bare to put him down even for his naps, that Baby is a yr. and two mos. old now and he is very spoiled, my daughter cannot go the the bathroom because her baby would be yelling at the top of his lungs. I love my grandson a lot and I know that having surgeries as he did hurt him a lot, but now he is very spoiled by his mother. So beware!
2006-10-13 14:11:46 · answer #9 · answered by a.vasquez7413@sbcglobal.net 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
your husband should know that in the first year of life a child is forming his opinion of the world - the stage negotiated is called 'trust vs mistrust.'
when mommy always comes when a child cries, the child learns the world is a good, caring, place. the child learns he can trust. also, when mommy is not around and baby is crying for her, the brain is flooding with stress hormones. this flood of stress hormones has been shown to impair learning and heighten risks of depressive and anxiety disorders.
what your husband is advocating will lead his child to learn that the world is unreliable and uncaring. He will conclude that his crying doesn't help get his need mets, so he will give up trying to help himself, leading to depression and anger.
It's why crying it out is bad, sleeping alone is bad, and going to day care or otherwise separating from mommy for more than 10 hours a week is very very bad.
A baby needs mommy's milk and mommy's arms on demand. your husband has got to start letting you be a real mom to his child, by following your instincts. Was your husband mistreated as a child? So many men who were want their own children to suffer too, thinking it will 'toughen them.' really, it's a way for the man to protect his parents, to deny they caused him to suffer.
Other men are so jealous of the newborn they can't rejoice that their wife is a loving mother, they want her for themselves. it's a time for feminism - to assert yourself in the interest of your child.
The book 'the irreducible needs of children' helps explain this.
2006-10-13 14:10:22 · answer #10 · answered by cassandra 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋