Is this a good thesis statement??

Question

Katherine Mansfield’s “The Garden-Party” shows a privileged family so preoccupied with hosting a party that they begin to create a world of their own without much care for what is beyond their residence area; therefore, actions of selfishness and pride are revealed through stereotypical descriptions.

Answer 1

Excellent, except I don't know what you mean by "stereotypical descriptions." You might want to rephrase that.

Answer 2

{{{Excellent }}} Katherine Mansfield’s “The Garden-Party” shows a privileged family so preoccupied with hosting a party that they begin to create a world of their own without much care for what is beyond their residence area.

{{{{I think this should be a separate sentence and state what you mean her a bit more clearly.}}}} This need; therefore, actions of selfishness and pride are revealed through stereotypical descriptions

Answer 3

I don't like to say "no," because a thesis statement is generally derived from the writer's intent. It also depends on your audience; if it is a professor, they may want a thesis statement that is detailed, though most would say this statement has too much going on.

I get what you are saying, but I think it needs a little edit to give strength to your point.

For example, "privileged" cancels out "a world of their own" because privilege is about power over others. Another example would be "preoccupied" cancelling out "without much care;" essentially in this statement it means the same thing.

It could be simple, such as,

The Garden Party (Mansfield pp) demonstrates the preoccupation of pride, power, and privilege in one family's moment in time.

I think your thesis statement says a lot and it has inspired me to take a gander at The Garden Party; good job and putting yourself out there for comments.

Answer 4

The Garden Party Essay

Answer 5

You might want to shorten it just a bit.

Answer 6

The sentence is very very long.