I have been with a man for a year. When we met I was in a homeless shelter and a single mom to a one year old with autism.This man worked with me through thick and thin.Fast forward a year later.........he starts complaining that I dont treat him the way he deserves and that I dont give him time etc...etc...He breaks up with me every other week(im 25 he is 34).He would get mad and ignore my calls etc...etc...Well i started to confide in a friend at school and his girlfriend.I would call them whenever my boyfriend would put me through it.This weekend i had a bit to drink-My friend offered to come over to talk. I didnt want to at first but then agreed.one thing led to another and he went as far as to get my underwear off-but the minute he touched me it didnt feel right and we stopped.it was late we fell asleep but my boyfriend came in and found us.now he has my phone bill and sees that we have been speaking.he thinks ive been cheating all this time which isnt true.he wants to meet
2006-10-13 12:34:16 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
he wants to meet up with the guy and his girlfriend to get to the bottom of this all.He wants me to tell her what happened.While she will agree that we have all been on the phone together,she will be devestated to find out what happened at my house.what should i do?p.s when my boyfriend caught us we had been broken up a day-yet he said it was still unforgivable.
2006-10-13 12:36:39 · update #1
he is a great guy and i have been in unhealthy relationships which have caused me to be a bit defensive with him(i know im wrong) but he is a special person that just wants to be loved and appreciated.That is why i want to save us sooo desperately
2006-10-13 12:39:14 · update #2
this is something i know would have not happened at all...if my boyfriend had never put me through this all.I have never went after anyones boyfriend.Trust me never.And all i wanted was someone to talk to-not to sleep with.
2006-10-13 12:55:02 · update #3
I REALLY WANT HIM BACK......WHAT SHOULD I DO????
2006-10-13 17:53:43 · update #4
You and your boyfriend need to meet with a family/marriage counselor. You aren't married, but you have been living in a pseudo-married state for the past year, so there is enough of a relationship for a counselor to help you.
He sounds like a really good guy, despite the fact that he keeps breaking up with you. It sounds as though he is unsure of himself, as well as of you. And yes, the phone bill is pretty damning, along with what he witnessed. But if the other guy has the balls to see your man and tell him what happened, that could help.
But most of all, you do need counselling so the two of you can make what you have into a solid, rewarding relationship that will endure. Especially as there is a child involved, and your boyfriend has been a surrogate father to that child for the past year.
You've come a long way, and with a little help, the two of you can reap the rewards of all the work that you've both done in this past year.
But there's a warning in all this for you. You obviously have trouble holding your liquor. You might want to think about quitting. If it can get you into this kind of trouble this easily, it isn't something that's going to be helpful to you for the rest of your life. And quitting isn't that difficult. You only have to do it one day at a time, and there are many places, including AA, who will help you each step of the way.
Good luck to you.
2006-10-13 12:42:54 · answer #1 · answered by old lady 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Be there for her when she's going through a hard time, care about her consistently, etc. It's a shame that many females nowadays are shallow. There was a "question" earlier about women's shallowness, but it unfortunately got deleted -- most likely deleted by the Yahoo! Answers administration team. I guess they thought it was sexist, but it wasn't sexist in any way whatsoever! Did they even take the time to read what the poor guy had to say? It wasn't anything sexist at all! Just because women wanted the same rights as men, it doesn't mean they should suddenly be treated with advantages that men can't have! Anyway, I have to say this again. It's a shame that many females nowadays are shallow. This means they're probably satisfied as long as the guy's "hot." Sad, isn't it? I think both genders are shallow to about the same extent. In fact, I believe that the majority of us are shallow; it's just that some of us don't show our shallowness.
2016-05-21 23:54:54 · answer #2 · answered by Beth 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're 25. You're too old for stupid stuff. You knew this guy was interrested in you and you dragged him into this drama. I've never met a girl who tells me it feels wrong with her panties off. I'm not sure how you think you had this big moment of clarity between getting so drunk you got buckass for a guy who's girlfriend is your confidant then you fell asleep with him in your boyfriend's bed. Before you deal with your boyfriend you really need to appologise to this guy from school for what you did. If you want your boyfriend back you should kiss @ss. You did something truely horrible to him but I think you did it for the right reasons.
2006-10-13 12:42:38 · answer #3 · answered by W0LF 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This situation sounds bad from the start. He should have never gotten involved with someone from the shelter - you were still in a weak emotional state.
It sounds like you may need to get out of this situation soon. He is not going to believe you and you deserve someone to treat you better. Just the fact that you almost cheated is enough to show that he is not the right man for you. You have gotten stronger and you are ready to find a man who is more suited to your personality.
2006-10-13 12:39:40 · answer #4 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
imagine u saw him in the same situation with a girl??
look u cheated on him! u dont have to sleep with a guy to b a cheater! u can cheat witha touch, a kiss even without any physical contact! just emotianly!
he's gt the right to b mad at u, and u should show him how sorry u are and do ur best to win him back..
no matter what he did to u (ignorin u and stuff like that...) its not like cheatin!
so talk to him tell him the truth and nothing but the truth, apologize a 10000000000000 times...
good luck
2006-10-13 12:46:33 · answer #5 · answered by green_n6 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I hate to tell you this, but even if your story is true, there are two major problems. A. He'd almost surely be a fool to trust your story, and it does show a clear possibility that you might cheat, though your conscience is helping to work against that, and, B, you haven't addressed his claim about the respect you give him, simply alluding to the possibility that your boy friend has a problem with insecurity. It's difficult to make an assessment of your question with what you've presented.
Edit: Ok, I saw your edits, it appears that you have given comment on his claim about respect.
2006-10-13 12:39:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
less than a hair from actual/technical cheating. Good that you stopped, but your b/f may not ever believe that you didn't completely cheat. If you want to save the relationship, you have to really come clean with him, and then follow-up by not doing anything to cause him doubt. But, the fact that he frequently breaks up with you suggests that the relationship was on the rocks to start with.
2006-10-13 12:38:45 · answer #7 · answered by from HJ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Bad situation. Tell him the truth. Tell him why you were talking to your friend to begin with. Express to him that you do not appreciate the way you were being treated by him. But you're still at fault, if someone took off your underwear and then you proceeded to lay daown and fall asleep with them, well the actions there are pretty much cheating. So apologize, say it did not go further than that and hope he forgives/believes you.
2006-10-13 12:37:52 · answer #8 · answered by coletteraubal 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If your man didn't know about this friendship with this other guy, it is pretty much cheating. Do you still talk to your friends girlfriend? Does she know about her man trying to hook up with you? This sounds like a pretty bad situation you've put yourself in, and if your man forgives you, you will probably have to deal with his mistrust for the rest of your relationship....
And if you were okay with taking your pants off this this guy, you weren't too concerned about his girlfriends feelings anyways. If you relationship is worth that much to you, do what he wants to prove yourself. It will be better for that girl to know so she can find someone better!!!!
2006-10-13 12:40:28 · answer #9 · answered by bezsenný 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Um, if you're that unhappy that you spend more time talking about how unhappy you are than actually seeing your boyfriend....you should just leave anyway. Then you can do whatever you want with whoever you want. It was a good situation when you met probably, but one or both of you has outgrown it. Move on and have fun calling whoever you want!
2006-10-13 12:37:07 · answer #10 · answered by CharlieCat 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋