My boyfriend and I have been lovers for about a month. However, it's almost impossible for him to orgasm through intercourse. He's been stressed lately, and has a history of sexual abuse, but he refuses to go to counseling.
I love him and I want to help him, because this is affecting our relationship badly.
How do I help?
2006-10-13 12:28:05 · 17 answers · asked by Kennedy 1 in Health ➔ Men's Health
I would suggest you tell him you're going to avoid the sexual tonight, but keep it intimate. Massage him; cuddle; hold him; rub his back; his whole body. Ask him where it feels good. Allow your naked body to rub against his, but do not get sexual...unless he initiates it.
This may help him relax & let his gaurd down but removing the pressure of "having to perform". Just let him receive positive physical sensations without the fear of sexual performance.
See if this helps him get in the mood, but let him initiate if it turns sexual. Otherwise, you just keep it intimate & loving.
Cuddle; watch tv in the nude while you cuddle...sleep embracing. LOTS of body contact/skin contact.
2006-10-13 13:40:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A month really isn't that long. He may just need some time to get used to you, and being comfortable. So you say intercourse is the only way he's having this problem? What other ways is it working? Whatever it is, maybe you should just stick to that for awhile....
2006-10-13 19:33:09 · answer #2 · answered by bezsenný 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well all i can say is that he needs to fill relaxed before sexual intercourse, why dont u try and use some pleasure gel or somethink to get you both stimulated and in the mood, try a bit of fore play and work from there, take it slow and it will happen in time dont rush him, see if he will talk to u about the abuse he sufferd, it all takes time... i hope it all works out
2006-10-13 19:33:56 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he is just a guy that can go for hours, you have been with him for only a month, try Mental on him like, role playing ( he the doctor you the nurse..etc.. ...put imagination before the Sex ever begins, go hire a professional, try all you can, he needs help...good luck
2006-10-13 19:34:14 · answer #4 · answered by qdrama1956 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
oral sex helps my boyfriend "get up" before we have sex. he should go see a psychiatrist and i understand it can be hard when you've been abused, to relive that over and over again. believe me i know. give him an erotic massage, like both of you be naked and get on top of him (have him laying on his stomach) and rub some KY massage oil on his back to help him relax. hope this helps! :D
2006-10-13 19:45:40 · answer #5 · answered by ally 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He should check w/his physician. There could be an underlying problem. It may not just be a mental thing.
2006-10-13 19:32:49 · answer #6 · answered by donthatethaplaya1 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Professional help is always best. Speak to him gently.
2006-10-13 19:29:30 · answer #7 · answered by southernboy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sadly there is probably nothing you can do unless he wants help and it seems that he doesn't. Sorry hun!
2006-10-13 19:30:15 · answer #8 · answered by Amaya 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
find him a hot chick he's attracted too.
your sex life may bore the hell outta him...get a hint
2006-10-13 19:40:28 · answer #9 · answered by billybadazz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stick your finger in his butte when going down on him, he will explode then , but the secret is dont tell him you are going to do it
2006-10-13 19:35:57 · answer #10 · answered by kalela L 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋